People rarely get depressed because of a bad situation.
True depression comes because you can’t see a clear path out.
Despite what motivational speakers (and their modern equivalents) are saying, it’s not so easy to dig yourself out of a hole even if you are willing to do the work.
When you want to escape the pain of today, motivational liars make you feel as if you have two options:
a. Stay the same (while hoping for a miracle) a.k.a. do nothing.
b. Get to work and become awesome
Did you spot the mistake fellow natty philosophers?
Yes. It’s not easy to see it but it’s there and requires a bit of “hater-ism” to get it.
The real options are:
a. Stay the same (status quo or worse)
b. Do something that may or may not work regardless of effort or time. If you are lucky, you may get some “gains”. The end.
Doesn’t sound so seductive now, does it?
And that uncertainty is precisely why sadness reigns supreme in so many cases. You are not sad because of the now; you are sad because you want the now to be different but can’t see a clear road to ascension.
In other words, you are stuck like a billion other people.
The hardest part is not “doing the work”,
it’s finding “work” that delivers results.
Once you have a winning formula, it’s E-A-S-Y.
Let’s say that you are a struggling actor constantly auditioning for roles. You are working hard, but mostly getting hired for weird stuff like condom commercials. The guy working in the convenience store next to you is making more while enjoying greater job security.
Then, eventually, you get your big break (a keyword), and sign for a major role in some low-IQ-base-level-consciousness TV series where you play a drug dealer (I didn’t choose this example accidentally.)
You have brutal 14-hour filming days. But it’s easy because you are getting paid the big bucks.
14 hours is still 14 hours, but it doesn’t matter to you because you were working the same time in the past except it was for nothing.
And that’s the difference between doing something that may work and something that does work.
That principle applies to almost any aspect of life. Bodybuilding included.
Naturals who spend 7 days a week in the gym for years are MAJESTIC RETARDS for the most part.
But professionals get tangible benefits. They know why they are doing it.
A natty doing Jay Cutler’s split routine is wasting his time; Jay Cutler doing it = Win.
This Is Why Everyone Wants To Know About The “BIG BREAK”
People read fake autobiographies of celebs mainly to learn about the so-called Big Break. Nobody cares what you are doing 10 years in.
Everybody wants to know two things:
a. How you got to the top…
or
b. How you returned to the top after a fall…
All else is uninteresting because the average person is looking for “the secret“.
What are we breaking actually?
The barrier that separates “what may work” and “what works”.
And the painful truth is that most of us never quite break it (or else we will all be celebrities of some sort). But that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try.
Getting Out of The “What May Work Prison”
(The Farming Method)
If I was selling you a “manifestation book”, I’d tell you to “live in the wish fulfilled” or some other dream state.
The truth is brutal and you already know it – no one can guarantee success even if they have it themselves.
It’s the uncertainty that kills you.
So, what can you do?
++++Enter farming. ++++
You only have so much energy and time. You can’t try everything for long periods as you will simply run out of resources.
The only option is to cover as much territory as possible until you see signs of promise.
Only then, you can dedicate more resources to that particular endeavor.
This is the opposite of the all-in method as you are stopping yourself from going all-in to spare yourself.
I repeat. The goal is to cover territory – not to hit a target with a sniper rifle.
Imagine this.
You can only dig 50 meters. You can do it two ways:
Option 1: Dig one 50-meter hole.
Option 2: Dig fifty 1-meter holes.
The benefit of the first method is the focus and the depth, but it lacks ground which is the strength of the second approach (which lacks sufficient focus and volume).
When you don’t know what works, and you invest a ton of time in a single endeavor, you may end up spending all your energy in vain.
The tricky part with the second method is to know when to stop. You should do enough work to plant a SEED. If you do less than that, you are once again wasting time. If you do more, you are “digging too deep” and potentially wasting time again.
When you see that your seed has grown a TINY bit, you increase the focus on that “hole”.
Failures Are Expected, But Shouldn’t Be Glorified
A lot of businessmen glorify failures, and there is no doubt that those are a must and expected.
However, doing your best to avoid them is ideal. Do not brag about them. Learn from them (if possible). And do not chase them.
Don’t worry. You will fail plenty anyway.
Examples
Whenever people talk without examples, be careful – you may be getting scammed or semi-scammed.
Here are some examples (note – some will be weird) that I can think of:
- NoN.com
This very site was the result of this method, although I did it accidentally. The loyal readers remember my previous site – irongangsta.com. It was the same as NoN except with a larger focus on the philosophical aspects of life.
I was doing natty or not reviews, but it wasn’t my main focus. But when I saw that people were commenting the most on those posts, I decided to make a dedicated site.
Ironically, I greatly reduced the NoN reviews and refocused on philosophy for 2 reasons – the audience was evolving/growing and the reviews were repetitive.
- AlphaDestiny
You know who that guy is – a fitness dude from YouTube who’s been making videos for a decade.
What you may not know is his website – https://outalpha.com/. Initially, he had a blog alongside his channel, but the blog wasn’t working nearly as well as the channel so he focused on videos.
A smart move.
- Victor Pride
Pride from the now non-existing blog boldanddetermined.com was the opposite of Alpha Destiny. (BTW AlphaDestiny’s blog was heavily inspired by Victor.)
He had a massive website while his YouTube channel was tiny in proportion to the site (around 5k subs).
Why?
Written words worked better than podcasts and videos for Pride. He sounded too fake and aggressive in those. It was his writing style that created his audience.
However, trying voice and video was a smart choice on his part as you can’t know until you try.
- Rich Piana
Time flies doesn’t it? It’s been years since he passed away.
How does he fit here?
I don’t know his entire story, but I remember that at first, he was trying to break into the online fitness world by promoting some Mutant supplements. At the time, he was somewhat of a fake natty.
Later, he concluded that it would be better for him to become “honest” and open about “supplements”. At the time, rumor had it that he was dropped or dissatisfied with his contract.
So, he became a “freelancer” and focused exclusively on video content (imagine Rich Piana writing a blog – lol).
- Dating
Here we go again. I know. But it fits the bill perfectly.
In theory, you need only 1 woman to say yes to you. It sounds like an easy task, but it seems brutally hard for many reasons that don’t belong in this post.
You can’t afford to talk to a single woman as you will quickly learn if you haven’t already.
You need multiple sources of favorable outcomes. Diversification is mandatory, not voluntary these days.
A woman can disappear at many stages during or after an interaction. And the only way to protect yourself against this outcome is to secure other options.
If I hadn’t lived by this rule, I’d still be a virgin today – not a problem in and of itself – but somewhat weird at my age.
Before losing my virginity, I was talking to 2 women. I genuinely liked one of them more. But she consistently avoided a date with me while the second woman agreed to meet me. At first, I was hesitant as I was still naive/innocent and some part of me thought that I was cheating on the other girl.
But I proceeded and after the date, we went to her place.
As to the other woman (the one I liked more) – we never met. Today, I don’t even remember her name as time tends to erase your temporary files.
- School
In school, we have to study many subjects simultaneously – math, geography, physics….etc. You can’t like or be good at all of them. But you also can’t be equally bad in everything either. So, you get to see what you like more and eventually major in it.
- Music Hits/Movies
Many famous musicians have experienced the following:
- They put a lot of effort (think months, years, decades) into making a hit song. They come up with something and say to themselves – “This is it.” Then the song never takes off.
- One day some song that they recorded in 2 hours while suffering from a hangover becomes a global hit.
Why? Who knows. The point is that the only way to make a hit song is to keep trying to make a hit song until you have one. And you can’t know what will be a hit as you have no control over people’s reactions.
The same applies to painters, moviemakers, writers…etc.
- Finding Your Keys
As I said some of the examples will be weird.
But I like this one as it paints the method very well. What do you do when you are looking for your keys?
You tap your pockets expecting to feel something shaped like a set of keys and to hear them ding.
Then, you go for the pocket that has satisfied that criteria. You don’t just check in one pocket “really hard”.
It’s the same for your phone or wallet. You instinctively use this strategy because you want to quickly reassure yourself that you are carrying them.
But Yoda says “Do or do not. There is no try.”
Yoda can get lost as far as I’m concerned. There is trying, and this ugly fella knows it too.
He is actually teaching the nerds that there is a “Committed = do” and a “non-committed = don’t” type of trying.
Or in other words, sometimes people pretend to try.
He is implying the need to have real intent behind your actions, and that’s accurate and awesome, but intent doesn’t always guarantee success. It only guarantees a chance to succeed.
And that applies to everyone. For example, even Messi and Ronaldo miss penalties. Let’s be real. Trying, failing, and trying again is the only way.
Control The Controllable
There are two types of variables – controllable and non-controllable. The brutal reality is that the second type is more influential on your success (or downfall), but there is little you can do about it other than react in a way that protects you as much as possible.
Examples of non-controllable variables would be height, age, era, political movements…etc.
But ironically, the more we focus on the non-controllable variables the more depressed we become.
Meanwhile, when we follow a program based on what we can control, we tend to feel better even if the results are unsatisfactory.
Taking action is better for your spirit. But as I said, action doesn’t always equal results.
Summarizing
Set a goal and think of multiple paths leading to it.
Spend just enough time on each strategy for a seed to be planted.
Don’t be afraid to switch from one strategy to the next.
When you see even a tiny drop of success with one strategy invest more effort into it.
Ramp up the work in that direction in proportion to the results.
Realize that even if 1 out of 20 attempts are successful, you still win.
As I’ve said in other posts – potential doesn’t need more than 6 months to show. Sometimes less.
Until next time,
Incredible as always,this has become one of me favorita posts due to the large amount of truths that You have explained, keep it up wise man or hater man
Great stuff as usual. Thsi pretty much hits the nail in the head for me:
“The hardest part is not “doing the work”, it’s finding “work” that delivers results.”
This has always been the case. I’ve often been very diligent and motivated to do something, to change things, to get better. But always the thing is that I’m climbing the wrong tree, I’m doing the things that don’t deliver results. Then in the long run, the energy and motivation etc. seems to vanish step by step, it’s like natty resources in strength training, very limited.
I think it was Tony Robbins (once again) who said already about half a century ago that if you don’t achieve your goal, it doesn’t matter, because then you have tried something, and then you know that it doesn’t work, and you have more education about the thing. Then you can try a different approach. But this is very tiresome process, and at some point, you just don’t want’ to begin again. You wear out something that doesn’t come back fully in the long run.
I’ve once again reverted to the place where I think that maybe I should go through my goals to be sure that I’m going towards the right things, but the problem is what Truth said, it’s difficult to find the stuff that works. But it’s true too that it’s a good idea to cover more ground and be aware if something is working. Because most of the time when results come, they come rather quickly. And it’s good to remember that you shouldn’t thrive for perfection, usually a surprisingly low performance level will be much more than the average joe is able.
As an example, a friend of mine thinks that I invested my time greatly in my youth when I was doing a shitload of sports and exercise, I put my everything to those. According to my friend, it has become a healthy lifestyle for me, and it has been very beneficial. He also feels that he never had anything that he was truly good at, something where he put his all and everything. But the thing is, my friend has done the exact opposite. He has tried millions of things; he has really covered the ground. And he knows a bit about everything. He’s in a much better place.
Nice work…
Nice work…thanks
As one of my high school teachers said, “don’t work hard, work smart.”
Yes. But the hard work is actually finding that “smart work” that actually works.
Yes, as I found, since the fiat scam money system incentivizes other things (like making money off of financialization), and taxes labor the most and up front. This is even true for professionals, such as lawyers and doctors, who were “per hour” essentially. You have to see if you can “invest” which can be in any of the major asset classes. But you’ll notice that these are the only ones that beat the system because of overall “free” time and less, or no, taxes. Think of it, report to no one! That’s working smart. But you have to know if you are good at analyzing stocks, investing in Real Estate, trading options, whatever the heck it is.
Nice follow up and further exploration of these themes (potential, the true “secrets” behind success, etc) you have covered in previous articles.
Focusing on controlling the controllable is fundamental. Sure, there are many things in your life you can do little about, and modern belief systems like the Blackpill are right to an extent when they point out that a fairly big number of people are dealt a particularly awful hand in the “game”. However, it is a mistake to just base your existence around such ideas and fully embrace misery. Doing something as slow the progress might look is aways better for your spirit and mental health.
I see… Thought’s on my fixation/ obsession with diet/ specifically the carnivore which many advocates online are promoting as the one diet which is the natural human diet and is optimal for human health and success in life? Or is this just a community of advocates promoting a diet which is actually going to harm you long term or short term, but they don’t care because they are getting views, clicks, and subscribers from you watching and believing their so called “science” on why carnivore diet is the best and why you do not need a single carbohydrate or vegetable?
Also to add-on is $100/a week grocery budget a reasonable budget for food ?
Tommy, you have to snap out of this diet obsession. At least you can recognize it that it is an obsession. Of course carnivore is a scam driven by profit. It’s a completely unreasonable and stupid diet. Most other diets are also scams. My recommendation is to find some other hobbies to fill your time. ALL your free time that you currently spend on this diet “research”. And just eat a normal healthy diet without cutting out any major food groups.
$100 is potentially OK depending on where you live and what level of calories you need. If you live in a major US city, it will likely need to be higher, maybe even double if you want higher quality foods.
The same type of people try to convince others that the earth is flat. No real proof, just bla bla bla.
i can relate. I had this date/approaching girls quest for a long time. For a bit of context, i am average guy, maybe a bit above average if i prepare well, but not that much since i am 171cm
When i was 15 (not reaching my final height) i had this companion class from high school. Think about him like “Playa” (widowlicker, from aphex twin) except this guy is a white version, and without beard, but the personality. Ugly, fat, but with good frame. Anyway, he always had girls. He boasted with everybody about this. His secret was he approached a lot. 10 girls per day. At first, the moral of the story is “just approach many girls, brah”, but the detail is, many of us feel just drained and demoralized after some rejections. he didnt.
I still cant find a way to not feel bad/frustrated by a rejection. Maybe its genetics. Maybe its the fact that he was always horny in heat. Like, he could fuck any lifebeing. That can explain why the motivation was high all the time. The girls were average or a bit ugly. eventually he got some hot girls. Well, at least the farming method is there i guess… Motivation works only so much, i felt like that only few times in my life.
Another example was a friend, he got a job as a receptionist at yoga classes. a “chad” like they said, even if our height is similar, but the girls always gave him attention. According to him, the job was a shit for her boss, a bitter old lady. But the girls were abundant. He just sat there and did some small talk with all the girls, since he had to stay there. Some of those girls picked curiosity… Even if the success was not that great, he always had option for the job. A big flow of girls.
Ok, maybe this is not a good example, after all i said he was a chad. But He got a job that allowed him to talk to many people. So, search a place so you can talk with many people IF YOU CAN. I guess the programmer career doesnt sound too popular among women
In my case, the university, at my 21 years. For example, since i was reading some red pill crap (mystery method, well, i think its not that bad, i could extract some ideas) and i tried to be more social in overall. They said you need to approach a lot to improve. But since i am not so neurotypical, i decided to be more gradual, I limited to salute, to say hi and if the circustances allowed me, make some casual or oportune comment. I found this average girl, i said hi and smiled, He answered me briefly and then we continued our lives. I forgot her. But many days after, this girl approached me and invited me to hang out with some friends of her ( I lost my chance as always that night) then, again, in the university ( i failed and got depressed so i gave up for a time), at 31, during my second “prime” ,the similar pattern. Another girl. In an instant, we stared each other, and i reacted smiling and saying hi. She started to talk a lot… (I’m still embarrassed about how I lost yet another chance. I am a “mentalcel”)
Although it seems like my life went not that bad, the truth is that I had to go through a lot of shit. In terms of approach, my worst experiences were when I overanalyzed things, when after an opening that didn’t seem pleasant, I insisted on changing and put pressure. My excuse was that everything served to improve, but in truth that whole process was unnecessary. I can say i ruined my life for this obssesion, because i (almost) never had a women.
Again, the key is to have a good flow of opportunities, and focus only on positive interactions, as this article says. Many chances and dont expose too much or force things as i did.
I had many stories. Not like 2000, but 500 along the way. I wrote, took notes, designed tactics, numbered girls, fisiognomy on my way, etc. so many stories. Eventually I burned those notes when I hit rock bottom. Such a pity, but i needed to change the air. Lastly i am having some problems with my memory, I can’t remember them all as i used to…
Thank you for the honest comment.
They key “Facer” gets at is what a friend told me all the old studies showed. What determines who pairs off? Proximity.
That was the old world way of saying, who are you bumping up against, into, who is around? And naturally someone is going to meet, chat, exchange, and find out if they are attracted to someone reasonable.
The modern day has ruined this a bit in that women are taught more to be beta male workers, postpone their prime, and because they can have some money, think they should get guys over 2 points higher. That hurts because early pairs aren’t happening and all men basically want 20 year olds. If you’re out of college, you’ve maybe grad school, and then the socialization is over – at least in the USA/West. Then you’re 35 and you can be a baller, net worth high, in shape, etc. No young women for you. All doing other things or chasing Chad idiot; zero priorities for family over fun or a good man.
That’s why overseas is the only option. Where a girl actually might need you.
Absolutely.
An advantage of environments like highschool and college is that it gives more chance to people of knowing each other beyond the usual superficialities, and without the conflicts of interests you would have in a workplace. Therefore, it is easier to develop attraction based in more than just looks.
Once you leave that part of your life behind, it is very difficult to create organic connections and all your options outside work are extremely superficial (dating apps, social events, etc). If you aren’t extraordinarily handsome or charismatic, you will struggle to find and attract someone who might be worth your time.
As a fellow 30 years old introvert who also chose to pursue a career in software development (for better or worse), I can totally relate with your experience.
The best chance for men without movie star looks and charisma to find a decent and stable partner is in late highschool and college years. If you failed to do it (or neglected it like I did), it is incredibly hard even for neurotypicals to find something worthy later as most women with a good personality-looks ratio are not single anymore (or chasing Chad Unicorns if they are too narcissistic). What remains available are basically the “leftovers” who no men wants because they are too hideous or insane.
Personally, while I’m far from a “Chad”, my looks are pretty decent in comparison to a lot of men I know who have had more romantic success than me. What has hindered me the most is my introverted, slightly on the Autistic spectrum personality (actually diagnosed by specialists) which gets easily disinterested and annoyed by constant socialization. It is no mystery that such profile is seen as an abomination by women in general. Most would rather pick an incompetent but charming idiot (who might even put them in real physical danger) over a competent but awkward guy who has more potential of becoming a better partner.
I have not completely abandoned hope of finding “love” (whatever that means nowadays), but I am aware that the odds are against me and will get worse by each passing year. I’m ready to be forever single if that’s what fate has in store for me.
Jose,
I’m older than you and think it can happen, but it pretty much has to happen in the East somewhere (eastern europe, far east, or maybe some place in S America if they have high enough IQ) – but it’s going to cost me. One has to find an organic way to have a girl notice that you are successful and then “get to know you” that is a process, as opposed to directly leading with “I can take care of you.” That’s the key to everything. I’d prefer it to be a religious woman of my religion, but I think the best I’ll get is a woman who just isn’t against my leading her and the familiy with this. I don’t think most women care as much as they act like about religious things, they are just happy that it seems proper and it is social as well.