Disclaimer: You may find this post depressing. Proceed at your own risk. Consider yourself warned.
Dedicated to J.G.
(I will never forget what they did to you.)
I’m a loser when it comes to dating. I’ve led a thousand battles but never won a single one.
This leads to a logical question – why should you listen to me?
A man learns more from the losers than the winners because losers expose specific weaknesses and peculiarities that don’t manifest when someone gifted is playing the game.
1. They always blame us (men).
One of the first sentiments that hit you when you enter the dating game is a peculiar feeling of inadequacy. You began to feel as if there’s something terribly wrong with you…that your entering wiring is faulty.
The environment will enhance that sensation by criticizing every move you make and explaining all your failures with you while blatantly ignoring the behavior of the other parties involved in the play.
This is wrong.
A union between a male and a female can never work if the man is blamed for everything. And yet that’s happening wherever you look.
You didn’t text the right thing. You said the wrong joke. You made the wrong conclusion. Your T-shirt was the wrong color. Your breathing during the date was wrong too. And to top it all off, you looked at her from the wrong angle. That’s just creepy, brah. No wonder she didn’t text you back.
She cheated on you? Brah, it’s your fault again. You simply didn’t treat her right. Don’t you know? Women can do no wrong. They’re perfect!
Seriously, though. Why is this happening?
Because society encourages criticism against men. It’s fashionable to hate us and label us as the source of all evil while glorifying women.
This is today’s agenda, ladies and gentlemen. It will change. But before it does, many of us will perish.
They want you to think that you’re broken…that you have to fix yourself…that you have to become another person to deserve love.
Changing according to the norms of a sick world doesn’t fix the problem in the long run. It just makes it worse.
2. Women Are Neither Complicated Nor Mysterious
The mainstream doctrines will often tell you that women are very complicated and mysterious creatures…that you need to read 50 thick books to understand them.
This is not true. Women are not complicated. (Read that again, dear feminazis.)
People who conclude that women are ultra-complex are making a crucial error – they’re mistaking inconsistency and emotional irregularity for complexity.
Female behavior isn’t all that complicated. It just appears this way on the surface because connecting the dots doesn’t add up to an image that the average male raised in a fatherless home can comprehend.
Or in simpler words, women create the illusion of complexity because they display patterns that don’t make sense to a mind whose idea of women is built on the bases of carefully engineered propaganda material.
But after absorbing a few too many cardiac hits, as in my case, the mythical female complexity steps back to make space for reality. When that happens, you will start witnessing disappointing patterns.
You will finally detect the brutal cynicism in their hypergamous strategies; you will learn that they reject you not for your character but for your physical appearance and monetary status; you will see how their behavior changes around a high-value male; you will learn that they’re neither innocent nor pure; you will sense the corruption within them.
And then, female complexity will evaporate because it doesn’t really exist. The female core is identical.
The movies often say that nobody knows what women want, but that’s a psyop designed to push you into endless behavioral hacking meant to satisfy the alleged needs of a woman.
The reality is more cynical than you think.
There isn’t a recipe that will make every woman like you. However, there is one that will make so many of them run after you that you will get bored.
The formula is:
Looks + Money + Mystery/Lies = Attraction
If you’re an attractive rich man with a mystic aura that can make her feel “je ne sais quoi”, they will like you…not forever, of course, but long enough nonetheless.
3. Let Me Enlighten You About “Signs of Interest”
Before my pick-up initiation, I felt as if I’d been passing by an army of women who could be “mine” if I had the courage to approach them.
Example: I am sitting on a bench in the park. A woman walks by. She looks at me and smiles ever so slightly. Then, she instinctively examines her outfit to evaluate her appearance. I stare back at her, eyes a bit crazy. Once she is gone, I start a self-loathing process due to the missed opportunity.
Eventually, I overcame my “approach anxiety” and consistently approached women for about 2 years.
If approaching told me one thing with certainty, it’s that those “signs of interest” mean less than nothing. And all the demons whispering “Approach, coward!” should know better.
I’ve been in crazy situations. On a notable number of occasions, the women that I was talking to would blush and express clear indications of satisfaction. However, more often than not, the interaction would end in some form of rejection.
I’ll never forget the attitude of one woman. She behaved as if she was in love with me for 15 minutes. When I asked for her number, she dropped: “I’d give it to you, but I don’t think my boyfriend would be happy.”
The master pick-up experts will tell you that this is a “test”. And maybe it was. No one except her knows with 100% certainty.
What I do know, however, is that this moment triggered a peculiar revelation – women express signs of interests not necessarily because they want you to act upon them, but to see if they can have you if they so desire.
This is a lazy/sterile trick meant to extract validation from you which is exactly what this particular woman was doing regardless of her actual status.
If she was single but provoking me by saying that she wasn’t, then it’s still a form of validation extraction because she was trying to experience pleasure from observing how far I’d go for her.
If she was indeed married or in a relationship then she was simply making me dance for her while consciously knowing that she’ll cut me in the end.
Either way, the notion stands – signs of interest mean nothing in practice. To a certain extent, they could even be considered a vicious trap.
4. Being Left On “Seen” Means Exactly What You Think It Does
Your intuition didn’t lie to you. In 99.9% of the cases, being left on seen means that the other side has low interest in you and wants to end the communication.
I’ve led more chat conversations with women than I care to remember. I wouldn’t be surprised if all the text messages that I’ve sent could fill a really thick book.
The experience told me that once you’re left on seen, especially after a question, the interaction is practically dead.
You can try to restart the conversation and very often you would be successful, but eventually, it will die again without leading to anything worthwhile.
The only exception is a situation when the person you’re talking to is genuinely unable to reply but has already opened the message.
However, you would know if this is the case pretty quickly as they will answer in less than 48 hours.
In most cases, however, people who really respect you and have a real desire to see you would leave you on “delivered” until they have the necessary time to craft a reply.
Don’t Ask For An Explanation
Asking someone to reply when they’re clearly refusing to do so rarely if ever brings positive results. I know because I’ve done just that multiple times at the beginning of my journey.
Questions with similar intent are generating vicious pleasure within the other person because you appear triggered and decomposed.
After all, some people leave others on “seen” as a way to deploy a psychological lever.
By showing that you’ve been emotionally hurt, you are signaling that their plan is working and generating pleasure within their souls while hurting yourself.
In my experience, there are two best ways to react:
a. Do nothing. This is self-explanatory and probably the best path.
b. Un-send everything that you’ve written.
Ironically, un-saying what you’ve said is often a good way to restart the conversation and trigger people.
One time a woman that was very non-responsive had a mini-meltdown when I did this. I continued talking to her, and unsurprisingly, her attitude didn’t change – she kept leaving me on seen and never agreed to meet me. #logic
Trust Your Instincts
Even though texting/online communication is impersonal and does not allow you to take advantage of all your senses, the brain and the heart can still pick up a lot of cues along the way.
Why? Because you have a human on the other side. As much as we want to hide our emotions and intent, our choice of words, spelling, timing…etc. speak to the other person and expose more than we think.
Back in the day, I was addicted to playing Starcraft 2 in multiplayer. I never cared about campaigns and missions. The only thing that mattered was my skill against a human enemy.
Even though I couldn’t see the faces of my opponents, I could still tell a lot about their emotions by observing the way they were controlling their army and writing to me. I could easily sense when they were angry or happy. Of course, they were evaluating me too.
Digital communication may be dehumanizing, but as long as you’re talking to a human, there will always be clues revealing how the other person really feels about you.
Most of the time, your instinct will uncover the evidence with surprising precision.
Ultimately, if the texting behavior of someone is telling you that they have no interest in you, you will be right most of the time.
5. Never Derive Your Self-worth From What Modern Women Think of You
When you base your self-assessment on what people think of you, you’re creating a mechanism within yourself that will keep generating massive internal bleeding throughout the course of your entire life.
Most men understand this principle when the criticism comes from other males, but when women are the attackers, the defense shield easily brakes, and we tend to fall in despair mode rather quickly.
Why? There’s a multitude of reasons.
Men are raised to believe that they’re unworthy of a woman’s love until they’ve proven otherwise.
To a certain extent, the power behind this mechanism is biological. Women are more valuable from a reproductive standpoint because they can give birth. Men are necessary for a new life to manifest, but we are not the limiting factor; a single man can impregnate an entire tribe of women.
Subsequently, women are considered useful by default thanks to their biology whereas men have to build themselves up and graduate to a high-status position to gain value that would give them social leverage.
Society has encouraged this mechanism throughout history as shown by the high number of tales about a man walking through hell to “win” the heart of a woman.
Throughout most of history, this phenomenon has been balanced out by men’s physical abilities.
Or in other words, we had the role of protectors and providers. Even if a man isn’t a superhero, a woman would still be stronger and safer with him than alone.
That role is largely dying because the government has replaced it. Why would she need you when the state is providing the features that you offer?
The result is fierce competition and a selection process that favors a very small percentage.
The Master Architects have been catalyzing and taking advantage of those processes for quite a while. They’ve purposefully facilitated the formation of an environment that is allegedly favoring the oppressed gender (women).
The final product is a gynocentric society constantly trying to please women. When you add technology and social media to the mix, you get a bunch of spoiled women with easy access to a horde of high-value men.
The aftermath is painful to watch. Women have turned into entitled people living for that glorious social media buzz. Their seemingly favorable situation encourages them to abuse their natural hypergamous instinct to the maximum.
And since the human world is morally bankrupt and only cares about serving the economic furnace, degeneracy becomes the name of the game.
Some naive minds may think that this is “female liberation” after long oppression, but that’s not the case. There’s nothing liberating about sleeping with a great number of men.
It’s all happening by design.
The architects are playing psychological games and using women as pawns. By getting to the head of the woman and heavily influencing her net of worldly notions, they turn females into filters serving a special agenda.
Ultimately, women play the role of a judge. They decide who will reproduce and who want. This is especially true in modern societies.
By adjusting the EQ of women according to the main script, the Master Engineers are preventing men who don’t fit the social criteria from creating a family. This process filters out genetic combinations that could eventually threaten the throne.
When you base your opinion of yourself on what spoiled, entitled, brainwashed-by-the-matrix women think of you, you’re judging yourself on the basis of corrupt principles.
Why is she rejecting you?
This is a crucial question that will help you understand how shallow everything is.
Chemistry aside, the main reasons for rejection are:
- Looks + Money
- She likes you but would prefer someone with a little more looks and money.
- Undefined but probably looks
Women are not rejecting you because you aren’t a righteous man. The problem is that you don’t satisfy their shallow instincts amplified by the controllers of society.
Bottom line: If you place your entire self-worth on what the modern woman thinks of you and dedicate your life to satisfying those criteria, you will either fail until the end of times and lose your soul or succeed but still lose your soul due to the lack of non-secular purpose.
6. The Silent Test Doesn’t Lie
When you’re on a date, one of the most effective ways to figure out where you stand is to stop talking in the midst of it. The period of silence that will follow will tell you a lot. If there’s mutual attraction, you won’t feel uncomfortable, and neither will she.
If she is not feeling you, the baseline tension will grow exponentially.
In addition, she either won’t try to keep the conversation going and will label you as socially inadequate psycho or will restart the talk but in a cold manner.
Another clear indication that she doesn’t like you is unnaturally fast walking clearing outpacing yours. If you find yourself having to speed up your natural walk while you’re on a date, just go home. Nothing is going to happen. She isn’t into you and is subconsciously trying to fast forward the date.
I will never forget the time when a girl was making me walk 1.5x faster than natural. Eventually, I switched to my normal speed. Funnily enough, a minute later she was literally 3-4 steps in front of me and yet still talking. Without saying a word, I turned and walked away. My only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner.
7. Don’t Use Dating Apps
I spent 4 years on dating apps with some on and off periods. I can say with a hand on my heart that dating apps fail miserably for most people, especially men.
Why? Many reasons.
1. Everything is based on looks.
The ultimate formula for online success is to have photos showcasing your majestic beauty, fun lifestyle, and high status. If you can do that, you will get enough attention to meet a woman that you actually like. If you’re an average brah, you will find it very hard to secure a win.
And that applies even to guys who are actually attractive. Sometimes, even men who are otherwise handsome (7/10) don’t do that well on apps as a few members of the forum have already pointed out.
This happens because the competition online is fierce – anyone, from the peasant to the king, can make a profile and join the dating market. Naturally, women gravitate towards the top of the top.
Why would she chat with you, when someone who is 100 times more successful than you is available?
2. The online world encourages people to devalue each other
Different venues result in different behavior. If you’re at home with your mom, you would conduct yourself differently than you would in a bar with your colleagues. The same applies to online places – people behave one way on Facebook and another way on dedicated dating apps.
The online dating environment encourages people to treat each other as disposable units. On many occasions, women un-matched/blocked me overnight without an explanation after otherwise pleasant exchanges.
Why? Because it’s easy and tempting. The second you misbehave from their perspective, they punish you. And because it all happens behind a screen, they do it without remorse. They are too far away to see your pain.
3. The illusion of abundance
Online dating apps are full of people. Consequently, one can wrongfully conclude that it’s easy to find someone because there are many options. Well, availability is required for selection to happen but more does not always equal success.
The truth is that for men the options aren’t that many unless you’re part of the upper echelons. For example, I rarely get matches regardless of the app whereas my sister which is by no means more attractive than me was “breaking them apps” without even trying.
Does it really matter that there are 10, 000 or more women on an app when you cannot access them?
Surprisingly, the options aren’t that many even for women due to 2 reasons:
1) women want the best 20%; 2) many men on those apps are liars
Two women told how they were unintentionally chatting with married men who were allegedly single. One of them found out after dating a guy for close to a year while the other saw her match pushing a kids stroller.
Why does this happen? Because women seem to have the same type. In consequence, the target men start to abuse their power in an attempt to satisfy their sexual urge.
My advice is to save yourself the trouble. If you’re an average or even somewhat above average man, you won’t do that well on those apps. I spent years there with nothing to show for. Don’t make my mistakes.
If you’re super attractive, you will do better, but even in that case, I advise you to stay away from apps as they rewire your brain and teach you to devalue people.
Facebook > Dating Apps
This may come as a shock to some, but my experience says that Facebook is better for meeting people online than dating apps for the following reasons:
1. Better women
I haven’t been on many dates from Facebook as I began using it when I was already close to destroyed internally. Nonetheless, I switched my photos with better ones because looks > all and began spamming women with requests.
Of course, most requests were ignored, but I managed to secure a couple of dates. The women that I met ghosted me but were, at least, more pleasant to deal with than those from the apps.
2. More honesty
Both men and women tend to be more dishonest on dating apps because it’s easy to hide. Facebook, on the other hand, shows more of you.
3. More personal
When you’re on an app, she can unmatch you in seconds because the process is quick and convenient. On Facebook, however, it takes more time to block someone. That alone reduces the number of blocks that you’ll receive.
8. The Offline World Cannot Compensate For the Online Cancer
Many people say that if you ignore the online world altogether and just stick to offline dating, you would be happier.
I used to think so too which is why I decided to try offline approaches. I can undoubtedly say that the women that I met from “offline game” were the best in terms of everything – appearance, brain, style, attitude..etc.
That mission gave birth to my deepest emotional moments with a woman. That’s how I met the actress from A Desert In The Sky for those who’ve read that book.
But here’s the deal. If I tell you that it was worth it, I’d be lying to you. It wasn’t. Because to secure one single date, I had to approach hundreds of women. Some of them were brutal towards me.
E.g., One of them was flirting with me, playing friendly. Out of nowhere, some guy arrived and she tried to unleash him against me. It turned out that he was her boyfriend. I kid you not, kid. Luckily, he wasn’t all that interested in a confrontation.
Also, many women gave me their contact but blocked me within a few hours before I’d even had a chance to text them.
All in all, reaching the “diamonds” was a rather dehumanizing experience that altered the deepest layers of my soul forever.
And the nice moments that I received for passing through all of that turned out to be the most painful of them all because they amounted to pretty much nothing but hit the hardest. As the song says – “the good ones hurt more than the bad ones”.
Therefore, I am very skeptical when people try to circumvent modern dating problems by playing the offline game. It just doesn’t work. The damage is done. The online sickness affects the offline world too. You can’t run from it. You can’t ignore it.
Somewhat ironically, I saw some of the women that I cold approached on a dating app later down the road.
Ultimately, online dating is like online shopping. Yes, people still go to the mall and buy from physical stores, but a huge portion of the population is shopping online.
Furthermore, offline approaching does not fix the ghosting issue at all.
Let’s play it out. You approach a woman, exchange contacts and later you text her. While you may receive “macho” points for your approach, sooner or later, you’re back to texting/online communication.
I wish I could tell you that you could avoid all that pain by becoming an analog brah, but I just don’t think it’s possible.
You can change the settings, but you can’t change people.
Having said that, offline attempts are welcomed but don’t make the mistake of sacrificing as much as I did.
9. Social circle game works but…
Social circle game has many benefits, namely:
- Offline game without the pressure of approaching strangers
Approaching is a lot like lifting weights – the weight doesn’t get lighter, you just get stronger.
Or in other words, past a certain point, the weight is always heavy even if it’s just a warm-up, but because you’ve gotten stronger, you can push through and complete the rep.
Approaching shares the same peculiarity but the difficulty is measured in anxiety levels. I’ve done more approaches that one can even imagine. Yet I never fully lost my anxiety.
Sure, at the end of an approach session, I would be a machine capable of approaching any woman, but the next day, all that magic would be gone, and I’ll have to overclock myself again.
Just a while back, I found myself passing by some of the old venues where I used to approach. I looked at the women there and told to myself: “I can’t do this ever again.” even though I’d done it so many times before.
Social circle, on the other hand, reduces the aforementioned anxiety while still allowing you to showcase your personality in offline settings instead of demoting yourself to a few pictures in an app.
- People have an incentive to be nice to you.
In an app, you’re three clicks away from disappearing. In social settings, the game is different. A colleague or a friend that is going to see you continuously cannot just block you or treat you in a bad manner. Moreover, when people interact with each other face to face, we tend to be a lot kinder because we can see the other person’s pain more vividly.
Example: 2 years ago, I saw two women swiping. They were tearing apart the men popping on their screens. Guess, what? The same women would never behave like that if their objects of mockery were in the room.
The same applies to men too. If you see a fat woman on an app, you may call her names in your head, but you wouldn’t tell it to her face without a good reason.
- Social circle = The Highest Quality Girls That You Can Get
If you see an average or below guy with a hot woman, you can be certain in one thing – they didn’t meet on a dating app because the online realm is picture and ego-based.
When I was in high school, a guy somehow managed to secure a hot girl even though the odds were stacked against – he was notably uglier and shorter than her. Eventually, they got married. (He didn’t look rich either.)
Call it an exception if you want, but I have no doubt that such a match cannot happen through a dating app.
Despite its benefits, “social circle game” is not a universal solution for the following reasons:
1. There isn’t someone for everyone in every social circle.
You may have a social circle and yet still fail to find a partner. For example, I spent a large portion of my life working in an office with a heavy concentration of women, and yet most of them were not an option for me because they were either taken or didn’t like me.
In other situations, you may find yourself in a social circle where the number of women is simply insufficient.
2. Women are jumping out of their social circles via dating apps.
I’ve seen at least five women from my former job on a dating app. All of them had extended social circles which had apparently failed to satisfy their romantic needs. This happens because dating apps have a super low barrier to entry and allow women to access a stratum of men inaccessible otherwise. The offer is seductive and many accept it. In consequence, the effectivity of social circle interactions diminishes even further.
3. Social circles cannot fix modern dating dynamics.
A social circle may create a more favorable environment for meeting a partner, but the problems of modern dating are still there and will manifest sooner or later.
10. Modern Relationships Are a Dopamine Loop
Modern relationships are based purely on shallow emotions and non-stop exchange of dopamine. When the circuit inevitably ends, people bounce in the hope that they will find someone better. Sometimes they do, but more often than not, they fail, hard.
A former colleague of mine met a guy on a dating app and they began dating. They spent three years together and eventually got engaged.
Are they still together? No. They broke up six months ago. The reason? According to her, he was stealing. I can’t know if that’s true or not because I don’t know him. What I do know, however, is that they looked genuinely happy throughout those 3 years.
I told her to go back to him and push through. My reasoning was simple: she was already aging at the time (34 years old). Her chances of finding someone better are/were very slim to none.
She refused and told me to never suggest anything like that. Her plan was to hop on the app and find another Mr. Perfect. Many months later, she is still single. My prediction is that she will go back knocking on his door eventually, but it will be a little too late.
The truth is that people give up on each other at the first sight of difficulty and press the reset button in the hope that the next person will be perfect. As a result, the relationship never develops into something deeper, and most people get stuck in a non-progressive loop – meet someone, extract the dopamine juice, leave, repeat.
When you apply the same schema to anything, you will immediately realize how silly it is. For example, if you want to learn a foreign language, but quit every time you reach a difficult material that “doesn’t resonate” with you, you will never take your skills to the next level.
Relationships are the same way. They can never grow if people give up when things get hard. Nothing gets stronger without facing adversity. But people seem to have forgotten this natural law. We treat each other as disposable units.
Here’s the entire lifespan of a modern relationship:
Step 1: Meet someone online
Step 2: Start the exchange of dopamine as soon as possible.
Example activities that accomplish this task: traveling without a purpose, sex, mindless endulgement in entertainment, shopping..etc.
Step 3: Leave as soon as the other person displays weakness or triggers boredom within you.
Step 4: Search for someone else.
Step 5: Repeat steps 1,2,3,4
I am not saying that there aren’t situations when you should drop out of a relationship. Sometimes there are legit reasons to leave. Very often, however, this isn’t the case.
People quit because it’s easy. We want to insert ourselves into someone’s life and experience only the good parts of the movie.
Until that mindset is changed, dating will be nothing more than a shallow dopamine loop ruled by the reptilian brain rather than a higher consciousness.
11. Women Have Always Been Hypergamous
What is female hypergamy? A never-ending search for a man who offers more.
More of what?
Money, looks, status, and crazy, rollercoaster emotions
Women have displayed this trait throughout the entire human history.
This is the moment when I reveal who is J.G. and why this post is dedicated to him.
The story that I am about to tell you is one of the most brutal displays of modern female hypergamy that I’ve witnessed.
J.G. and my father met when I was about 5 years old. They weren’t the best of friends, but their similar age and life situation (young families) brought them together.
At the time, most people from my neighborhood didn’t have cars; my family wasn’t an exception. J.G., however, had an old but at least operating vehicle – a weird combination of a mini-bus and a car. On a few occasions, he picked me from school. He was silent, like me. All trips were spent in silence.
J.G. had a son close to my age to whom I rarely talked because we just didn’t click.
When I was about 12, the life of J.G. turned upside down. His wife, the mother of his children, kicked him out and initiated a painful divorce.
The court decided entirely in her favor. The apartment that they were in was 100% his, but the “justice” system kicked him out for two reasons:
1. He was an alleged threat to his children. (drinking problem)
2. His children needed a place to live.
His wife presented him as an “aggressive drinker” even though he was calm, and his children appeared genuinely happy around him.
After the court’s decision, J.G. disappeared. I never saw him again.
His wife married another guy rather quickly. The new man moved in and lived in J.G.’s apartment for many years. He was driving expensive SUVs and bought multiple cars for J.G.’s children as soon as they could drive.
Many years later, J.G.’s son got married. J.G. wasn’t even invited to the wedding. His children had cut ties with him completely.
A few years after the wedding, I learned that J.G. had died, more than likely completely alone and forgotten.
I cried inside even though the guy was practically no one to me. The story just shook me too much.
I have no doubt in my mind that if J.G. was printing as much money as the new guy, his wife wouldn’t have left him. But this wasn’t the case. J.G. had an average salary.
She kicked him out of his own apartment and invited another man to fuck her, sleep in his bed and the worse of it all raise his children. J.G. was betrayed by everyone, including his own blood.
The end is also rather sad. J.G. died without having a chance to attend his son’s wedding and meet his grandsons.
J.G., wherever you are, I want you to know that there is at least one person who remembers you and has always been on your side. That person is me.
I will never forget what they did to you.
I will never forget how they destroyed your heart and subjected you to brutal emotional turmoil.
You didn’t deserve any of it. I hope you’re in a better place.
Note: That story happened before the Internet. At the time, most people didn’t even have personal computers.
Women have always gravitated toward men who hold more resources. I am pretty sure that you can dig out examples of female hypergamy that go back to ancient times.
The Internet and the moral bankruptcy characterizing the modern world boosted female hypergamy to epic proportions.
But as already mentioned, the goal isn’t to “liberate the woman”.
The elite is just using females to control society and breed obedient men who do as expected.
12. Women Can’t Handle 1% of The Rejections that Men Face
If women had to face the amount of rejection that the average man deals with, there will be a revolution before tomorrow morning.
I spent the last 4 years of my life on dating apps, approaching on the street, at work, and on social media. I’ve talked to more women than most people meet throughout their entire existence.
The results? I have a persistent PTSD that keeps me awake at night until 3 in the morning.
And yet I’m still here. I survived this nonsense as best as I could. Meanwhile, the average woman is afraid to be rejected even once.
13. Male Movements Are Helpful But Have No End Game
The major male movements (e.g., MGTOW, Red Pill…etc.) are great at diagnosing problems and describing what’s wrong with women’s behavior. You will learn a great deal from what the members share.
However, there’s a major problem – those doctrines don’t have a true end game.
Let’s say that you fully adopt the MGTOW concept and stay away from women for the rest of your life. This move will protect you from getting played, but living by that concept eternally won’t do you as much good as one might think. Abstaining does not fix the root problem. Hence why I see MGTOW as a temporary damage control system rather than a lifelong philosophy.
The Red Pill movement does not have an end game either. It leads to a hedonistic loop that benefits only the system in the long run.
Let’s say that you become a red pill robot and fully master all the concepts that the doctrine teaches (e.g., dread game, “plate-spinning”, stoic behavior, alpha mannerism…etc.)
If you’re attractive, this schema will generate a lot of sexual experiences for you, but what will they accomplish? And isn’t such behavior feeding the very problem that it criticizes? Isn’t it hypocritical to sleep with as many women as possible and later call them all whores?
What would be a good end game?
Women aren’t the problem. Their behavior is a symptom of a corrupt system. A true end game would be the establishment of a society that has a higher understanding of life, human rights, God, and the universe.
All other attempts to fix the problem have the value of a temporary patch at best.
14. Women Aren’t Happy
A lot of men wrongfully conclude that women are “winning” this game. Similar thinking is problematic because it shows that the wedge between the two genders is growing steadily.
Here’s a revelation: women aren’t happy either. Most of them are completely lost and lead an inadequate existence deprived of depth. The vast majority of the females that I’ve interacted with were carrying an aura of deep sorrow and scary emptiness.
Where is their pain coming from?
The digital infrastructure allows women to easily connect with all kinds of men. The result is an unnatural, voluminous communication with men part of societal layers where most women do not belong.
When the Cinderella story fails, women are left destroyed inside. Every break-up with a “hot brah” leaves them a little number.
I wish I could tell you that it all began with dating apps, but I would be lying.
It started way earlier.
Back in the day, one woman that I personally know interacted with a very attractive, tall, and somewhat popular pianist on My Space. I don’t know what they were talking about, but eventually, they met when he was touring in my country. You can guess the rest of the story.
He had sex with her and later left as anyone with a clear judgment would have predicted.
Similar interactions are among the major reasons why women lose their ability to bond with the men that they were intended to marry.
Or in other words, women aim too high and later end up disappointed because the princes do not commit.
Another major problem is delayed motherhood and dysfunctional families. Many women either postpone giving birth until their thirties or have multiple children from “bad boys” and alphas who bounce before hearing the baby crying.
Ultimately, the modern woman may appear happy on the surface because of the alleged power that the world has given her, but deep down inside, most of them are crying.
15. Women Look For a Reason To Say No
As soon as I began dating, I saw a reoccurring theme – all the women that went on a date with me were always scanning me, looking for a reason to say no rather than yes.
They were searching for flaws and trying to amplify them rather than appreciating my good qualities.
Men do the opposite. We are actually looking for a reason to say yes. Hence why men are more likely to “date down”.
This is another mechanism that has always existed. The Internet, however, boosted it to unhealthy proportions.
16. Rejection Never Stops Hurting
Anybody telling you that they don’t care about rejection anymore is a liar. As someone who’s been rejected more than enough for three lives, I can tell you that you never become fully numb. Yes, you get stronger/scarred, but you never get fully indifferent to rejection.
End of Part 1
I can write two times more on that topic, but I will end this post here because it’s getting too long.
I may or may not write Part 2 one day.
This was brilliant man.
Missed your posts. Hope you keep writing!
This post was amazing, thank you so much Truthseeker.
Please, write the Part 2!
I have a question, and i want you to clarify it, to see your points of view, it´s not about the subject, is the guy on the right natural, or his he injected into the shadows? (i wrote this from a translator, because i don´t know english english).
Truthseeker, I think you think too much for your own good. Just live and afterwards just die.
What you have written is entirely true. This phenomenon has been gradually brought about by the wonders of modernity and was, in a sense, unavoidable. But men still have a choice. Why not go to a third-world country, find a traditional woman and fulfill our role in life? Why are we taking shots at females in our modern societies? The reason is that we are not willing to give up comforts such as access to clean water, access to the internet, relatively easy and long lives etc. And this is a good thing. The problems you have described are the ‘bad’ side of the coin, which was not imposed on us by some evil mastermind but rather granted to us by the flow of history itself. There are no solutions, so we might as well enjoy the plenty of amenities and comforts we have, with our without females. This is too good a time to focus on women, despite our intrinsic urge to do just that. Thank you for the great article and have fun!
Kostas What a pathetic mentality you have. Probably one of those beta males everyone keeps talking about
CJ: on the contrary, I find Kostas makes a good point. Today’s world has pros (the various comforts and increased life expectancy) and cons (the female hypergamy), so why get obsessed with the cons when we could as well be enjoying the pros? That is a really good and positive way to see the MGTOW philosophy. Otherwise you could spend insane amounts of effort+money+time trying to looksmax yourself and please the hypergamous, but if life has given you low LMS values there’s only so much you can achieve, so what’s the point in playing the game when you already know you’re gonna lose?
The comfort is just as much a con. The same forces that enabled what you call female hypergamy are the same that provide you with these supposed comforts and amenities. So take the forbidden fruit? Settle for what they have given you? Be a pussy ass bitch???
The only pros in this world are health and fucking bitches, which = family really.
I have more respect for sellout men who submit to the system by taking drugs/overworking themselves to get women. The sentiments you are insinuating are some next level pussy shit.. “enjoy the amenities and comforts with or without women.”
You deserve your fate.
JFL if you think submitting to the system by taking drugs and overworking will lead to getting women, are you dumb as fuck?
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Hb1ys2RdV5U/maxresdefault.jpg in the previous comment I had forgotten to place the link, I repeat, is the guy on the right a natty?
welcome back my friendly friend!
Thank you for these honest harsh truths. Great advice about not deriving self worth from modern women. It serves as a sort of cognitive therapy for me and makes me feel better about myself. I hope a future society bans social media and online dating or at least moderates it.
A relation ship is a tennis match. Their are two people responsible for hitting and missing the ball. Essentially both people are wrong and right about things. Both people contribute to the growth or degradation of the relationship. It only takes one to stop doing the work on the relation ship to see it degrade and it is the responsibility of the other person in the relationship to express their concern/call them out. Its not easy work and that is why their are many failures because many do not have the love and courage to work together with each other through the good times and the bad times.
Have you tried making yourself look better? Like REALLY tried improving your looks? Even by using extreme means? If you’re really having a lot of problems, are you willing to do hardcore stuff, aka whatever it takes? You may be able to elevate yourself to do better in the dating world. Going up just 2 points in looks will make an insane difference. It could be you’re just below the threshold. I use to look bad (part of that was my fault, part of it wasn’t) so I did HORRIBLE in high school. Totally horrible, no dates, no sex nothing before 17. No attention whatsoever from women (totally sucked), I got super lucky and ended up getting hot (good genetics for muscle gain, combined with a lot of self improvement (Lasik to remove glasses, braces for teeth, MAXED out my body (years of lifting weights), laser hair removal on my chest, fixed my hair style (Vin Diesel look, tattoos), in addition to improving both financial and social status – Here s a recent pic – https://www.instagram.com/p/CF2qax8gIHK/. If my face was ugly, I would have gotten plastic surgery to fix that as well (I didn’t have to do that). Since my transformation, I’ve had no issues at all with women (although divorced more than once, but that’s an entirely different issue).
so you dolled yourself up for women, spending god knows how much in the process, you’ve been divorced more than once, and you put yourself across like you have a clue about how to be successful in relationships? maybe your fake as fuck exterior is a symptom of deeper psychological issues you have.. dont give other men advice
Just sharing my story bro. I wasn’t trying to bring in any negativity. To your point about psychological issues, that’s kinda normal. It doesn’t matter if you do well, mediocre or do horrible with women, as far as mental health goes, you’ll get the same types of issues. That’s why a lot of suicides are by good looking successful people (they suffer the same issues as everyone else). A lot of the unhappy men (including those who lurk here), will be unhappy even if their position in life is improved. Like the suicide example, you get the same issues all the way up or down.
I was just referring to my experience with self-improvement and the results I got from it. I’m happy with those results… is it ideal? no. Is it perfect? no. Will it work for everyone? no. Will it solve all your problems? no. Does it mean I know about women and relationships? No. Do I know about what it’s like to improve your looks by a substantial amount through self improvement? YES Did that change how I did with women YES. Was it worth it for me? YES. That’s all I was saying. Just sharing my story that’s all. If it’s not useful, just ignore it. If I came off as pushy or trying to tell people what to do, that’s 100% not me. Just sharing an experience is all.
Genius post Truth Seeker. The black pill is hard to swallow, but needed medicine.
You did warn me. I read it anyway and as I read further things I already knew where being told by someone who I respect. This is truly it I guess, I thought going MGTOW would help but it doesn’t help the fact that I am empty inside. I don’t know how much longer I can handle it because ending it seems much simpler.
I suggest anyone who is following this blog or reading this comments section to listen to the radio shows and to watch the stand up specials of “Patrice O’neal”. This guy, to me, is the epitome of red pill wisdom. He was simply unprecedented. He will teach you things about women and relationships that no other man can teach. Just google him. I am pretty sure nattyornot is also a fan.
Most people visiting this blog are redpilled and a doubt Patrice O’Neal wil say anything surprising to them.
Good to see you back man keep um coming!
Great to have you back buddy.
Really glad to have another truthbomb from you.
I think the younger generation are all about short term. Things go bad get out. Things not going as expected bail. Think you can do better…get out. Divorce..ruin family life..kids…no problem. Everyone is doing it.
The art of sticking to it and working through problems is so “old fashioned.”
I was talking to a few guys and despite being married all three were having affairs/ sex out of marriage. They said I was old fashioned for doing it.
I lost all respect for them. Cheat on your wife you will scre a”friend over” with no problem.
It is not good. So many broken families now.
Thanks for that black pilled reality check.
Mis respetos por este articulo Man. Espero puedas entender esto.
Saludos desde Uruguay
Awesome, brah, as always.
Please do write part 2.
Glad you writing again.
Even though we don’t agree on everything I did enjoy reading this and your other articles and have been checking your site frequently for new material.
I think I’ve been a reader of Nattyornot for close to a decade now, its hard to imagine not reading your articles anymore, so again glad you still writing.
Great writing as always, hope to read Part 2 (and maybe 3, 4, …) in the near future.
p.s.: proud to say that I have bought and read “A Desert in The Sky” and all your previous book, keep going strong Truthseeker.
Glad to see you again. I resonate so much with your posts man. I keep checking your site at least once a week. I see myself in so many of your posts, including this one. Brings a smile to my face.
BTW, Im a long time reader. I’ve been reading your posts from your rookie journal/Irongangsta days. Wishing you the best!
I’ll be honest I didn’t read the entire post. But as a guy who has dated a lot of women, here’s my two-cents:
1. It helps to know yourself in order to understand anyone else, especially women.
2. People (women included) are attracted to people with a purpose.
Your primary focus should be to work on yourself and make yourself into someone you love. More specifically, train like an athlete to strengthen and shape your body, build a business to increase your skills and confidence, and get your finances in order.
Once you become pleased with who you’re becoming you’ll begin attracting women like a magnet. Your energy and confidence will be alluring and people will give you the benefit of the doubt. After that it’s up to you to get what you want.
Almost everybody have a purpose in their life, like 90% of the guys have a purpose. The thing is you need to have specific purpose that earns you money and social status. And you have to be success with your purpose, otherwise you look lame or just plain.
The rest of your comment is generic puck up stuff.
This perfectly summarizes my experiences. I’d only add that dating sites and apps are useful for figuring out what you’re realistically looking for, just not actually getting it.
Time to write part 10. Yeah its a weird world we live in. Entitled girls, confused boys and a narrative that the past is all wrong and we can only be as progressive as possible. I think as soon as they said the nuclear family is wrong things went downhill. I think yeah I’m in a too similar place as you, I’ve cold approached a lot and now I call girls out I used to be so nice now I’m just a bitter old man about it funny enough. I think like in the 1920’s girls were more promiscuous it will change will us too eventually the nuclear family will be the big thing again. Everything is a cycle we happen to be in the cycle where people forgot why the nuclear family is better than having nothing. Either endless possibilities or just one simple thing.
TruthSeeker, what is your race and which country do you live in currently?
I was waiting for a new article. Yeah, the worst part of this dating game Is this feeling of not being enough. I know many men ( me included ) Who are depressed as hell. Thank you for your articles… At least they give me some relief and i really appreciate your honesty. I would like to have a friend like you
Lifting weights is one way you can improve yourself. So is finding a community of people to hang out with consistently. Getting educated for a better paying job can improve yourself. So is seeing a Therapist and taking medicine you need for chronic Depression/Anxiety.
Agreed on lifting weights as one of the ways for improvement, but no one should strive to become a gymcell.
Looking at the most successfull PUAs with actual ‘game’ (Torero and Krauser for daygame, etc.) they got laid the most while their physiques were at their worst in years; both also didn’t have the looks to compensate for it. Proficiency in ‘game’ aka. player social skills (everyone can develop them to a certain extent even if he’s an aspie/slightly autistic), ceteris paribus, is much more important than your muscles and how much you can bench.
mportant thing. I do believe if we live long enough we will get those problems solved maybe in other ways, it’s unfortunate how technologies in our lives change so fast but our brains just don’t adapt that quickly, if at all, so not quite sure what will be easier in the future, to alter our brains or to fix all those problems somehow naturally, human brain is truly the beauty and horror.
I agree with the most of the points, but here is some stuff that doesn’t add up like:
“The final product is a gynocentric society constantly trying to please women. When you add technology and social media to the mix, you get a bunch of spoiled women with easy access to a horde of high-value men.”
The amount of spoiled average+ looking women is far greater than the amount of high-value men aka 8+ men aka Chads. These high-value man aren’t some kind of sex machines that fuck girls all day, I mean they fuck some hot girls, but is not like they are fucking a different girl every day. Which means that these average+ woman are barely able to get in touch with these high-value men unless they are hot babes or lucky. Which leads to the next point in part 12 of your post:
Women face relationship rejection. They can find sex and relationship easily, but the problem is they don’t want to have sex with the ~80% of men so they chase Chads which leads them to be pumped and dumped by these guys. Which leads to them to be damaged combined with the fact that they don’t deal with rejection as well as men probably they feel shitty/unsatisfied as much as the next average guy.
Btw I also have like few thousands of approaches, not sure how much, but probably around 2000-3000 and I had like 30 something girls. With some of them I had LTR, with some of them I had LTR with very bad experience. Most of these girls where average looking and some of them where hot. And thankfully I stumbled across only on one crazie. My experience is not so bitter and I would even say that it was good, so I don’t have such a harsh view on life.
All I can say it is all about looks and social status. Money matter, I mean there is a relationship between social status and money. You can money out of your social status and you can build social status out of money. But looks and a little bit of talent and affinity in something is far more important. You can be this wanna be local rapper or DJ who is broke as fuck and working in the supermarket, but your looks is what will lead to fucking a new hot girl every weekend or not.
just from reading this text it’s apparent you’re “needy” and full of negataive assumptions about women,which are self-fulfilling prophecies;
your entire blog is dedicated to attacking the fitness industry; though you’re largely right – what a lowly purpose in life this is;
I feel sorry for your bad experiences with women;
notwithstanding you’re clearly a mediocre men, judging from your writing alone;
you can continue dedicating your life to rationalising how unfair and evil this world is, adorning your stupid rationalistations with great writing,
or you can perhaps do something more productive;
also you”re no truth seeker; you don’t understand how one goes about seeking truth; your stupid experiences are not the “truth” – are merely your truth; truth of a weak men, or otherwise unattractive;
if you want the truth – get a MASSIVE SAMPLE SIZE of VARIED SAMPLES; study as many couples and relationships as possible; go to night clubs and see whose hanging out with who; etc; get a LOT of samples and ANALYSE THEM INTELLIGENTLY, and decide if its only about “looks” or “money”, which is a preposterous notion,
truth-seeking is not you coming up with your fancy lengthy theories: it’s you conducting an ACTUAL research;
the 2000 girls that rejected some wimp is nothing; stop generalizing your failure to the rest of us
I apologise if what i said sound harsh – but truth-seekers enjoy harsh truths, don’t they? At least so they say,
either you’re irreversably unattractive, or just deluded – but in either case: stop throwing your nonsense at others; it’s unhealthy; we don’t need more excuses in those tumultous times then we already have; women don’t need more condemnation then they’re already getting
Thanks for stopping by. Anything more to suggest, my friend?
Why did you stop at 90 lb weightedchinup, why not 135 lbs?
Who forces you to read?
Guy approached several thousand women, how many “wimps” did?
He had sexual and romantic success with some of them, which you would know if you read his works.
Truth Seeker conducted actual research, like one man on 2000 sam ples is not massive. Every single of these 2000 females were different in at very last some regard.
He draw conclusions based on his experiences, not negative assumptions. What did he told that was not truth? He is not angry MGTOW or incel, it is his writings are uncomfrotable with some People like you.
It is not this man is retardedor or or basement dweller, he has job, he has social skills, he can do 90 pounds weighted pull ups on 150 pound bodyweight,so he is jacked.
He is not just fake “alpha guru” like that idiot Julien from “Far from Average”.
He just tells things as they are.
Oh yeah poor women getting condemnated. Tumultous times, huh? Yeah you analyze things intelligently, lol.
This fucking guy… how many times are u gonna call him weak, deluded, unattractive? Who is the one projecting here? Go start ur own blog u obviously know/are better.
There’s a whole body of research that supports author’s observations.
Trruth Seeker has really good points, but also we have to realize that we like what we like there are some things we can’t change, women are not that evil nor men, we also like certain characteristics while we are looking for a relationship, so in some way, women and men are picky maybe at different levels but still it doesn’t change that fact.
And I know that if you fail to attract women multiple times it may look like this thing is flawed and like there’s nothing you can do about it like it’s not in your power. But I can assure you that people are attracted to different kinds of things, money, looks, intellect, status, power or a combination of those things. But I found that you don’t have to be that good looking like a lot of unsuccessful men say nor you have to be that rich, I see this time and time again a mediocre looking guy having a quite good looking girl and sometimes vice versa, how they find each other attractive is another topic but still even if it’s temporary it means it was enough to build some kind of attraction, and of course, it’s always better if you are good looking, popular rich and what not, but the idea that men have to be literally perfect to pull some women is just ridicilous, even men that have everything to offer to struggle to keep their woman, I also found out that it almost never helps to act serious when you are in front of a girl, of course, if you don’t care or you’re not interested in her it’s ok, but being serious is almost like saying I don’t have any feelings for you or I’m angry inside and I’m not playing stupid games and people are afraid and don’t like too serious people, it just makes being around them very uncomfortable.
The fact is that everyone will have different experiences and experiences many times influence your decisions, reasoning, the way you think about how this world is.
Many of the “happy” men that you see are just going through their learning phase.
Tomorrow, they will be the ones “redpilling you” about women.
You can’t know much about a relationship from the outside. When you see an average guy with a queen, you’re only witnessing the surface. He certainly didn’t get her because he’s average but despite of it.
Exceptions only confirm the rule.
If you live long enough, you will witness everything I’ve said.
Think about it. Even if I was totally wrong, why do all those movements (MGTOW, RedPill…) even exist?
If it was all good, there wouldn’t be a need for them. Examlple: If naturals could get as big as roid brahs, nattyornot.com would have no purpose.
Many people are just looking for an angle that will make the situation more acceptable. You can change the angle, but you can’t change the object.
Yeah the thing you described happens more often than not. I mean yeah they’re just going through their learning phase and they end up with nothing. But the difference is those mediocre guys at least get a few moments to be with those girls somehow, am I right? While you were describing that you got no success at all, is it really truth or did I skipped something. I’d really like to know what is your answer to that. Even until now I somehow feel like you still don’t believe that average or below average guys in terms of salary or looks aren’t getting any girls while I see otherwise, while I know that it may not end well for them but I do know that at least they get to experience a feeling to be with someone, even if it last a week or two. Did you have at least short term relationship?
Women are the enemy. Nuff said.
If you’re cold approaching women, you’re setting yourself for failure. Unless your’re very good looking AND have serious game, you won’t have much success with that. With average guys it’s all about social circle game. If you can establish yourself as a presence in any given social circle, women in that social circle will gravitate towards you. That’s how an average joe gets a good girl. You mentioned that at your social circle at work girls ignored you. Were you a funny guy everyone likes, were you respected by your seniors, were you giving a vibe that your going places? To be noticed you got to stand out in some way. And have more than one social circle as well.
Truth!!! That’s why way back I mentioned earlier in other posts screw dating online and find some kind of social community. It can be a challenge and you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone and learn to be ok with yourself being yourself and around other people different from you. Once you establish yourself it gets a lot easier to meet women. That’s how I met my wife. I tried the online dating thing for while and ended up some dating that was not pleasant to say the least.
Ideas for Social Community: Church, Bar (Trivia night, Karaoke night can help), Meet up groups, Volunteer groups, …. anything getting you out of the house to hang out/do activities with men and women at least once a week.
You may just be a fucking weirdo with some degree of autism.
Things are bad but not that bad. The Devil is not as ugly as you painted it.
Yeah sure. Everyone is a fucking weirdo.
Long time no see, old friend…and yes please continue part 2
I love natty’s fitness programming, but dating quality girls is not this insurmountable task IMO. I’m a 5-6 looks wise, but I’ve usually dated 7-8s. In my experience, most women just want a nice guy who isn’t a pussy, or a bully. They want someone with inner confidence, which can be developed from some practical combat sports training like BJJ or boxing. Read some books so you can converse a bit about the world, and make enough money to pay for everything the first date without making a big deal out of it. (Old school but key). This isn’t an unattainable ‘roadmap’ lol
MGTOW has a final game! The final game is to restrict government introversion in people, especially men’s in personal life! Feminism is just a by-product of a gynocentric society! Gynocentric laws, culture and politics are created and enforced by the Government! The Government is the real enemy!(Institutionalization of Gynocentrism is the problem) We cannot just blame women, and forget that most men are feminists, or subscribe to the false notion of gender equality, support most of today’s cultural/social/political environment policies and are financed through taxes paid by men.
Man, is it Ph D thesis? :O
Your thoughts and experiences are just like mine – so similar it’s scary. I’m convinced that you are Aspergers.
I agree that looks and money are important for getting women, but personality type is far, far more important. The closer your personality is to psychopathic, the better you do with women. Keep up the great work – it’s a losing battle in a world of morons but some of us very much appreciate the content.
I was diagnosed with aspergers around age 17 and had no sex/girlfriends until almost age 20, despite going out to clubs/parties regularly from age 15 and trying my best. I remember I posted my picture on hotornot.com around age 18 and it was rated 4/10 by something like 200 voters. I had acne all over my face, man boobs and 0 muscle.
Anyways, fast forward to age 20 and I got lean while building a good amount of muscle mass. My face significantly leaned out, I got rid of most acne by cleaning up diet and built an above average physique. I consistently went out every week and got new girls on a regular basis. Most of the girls I got were 8/10 and up and over half of them I kept seeing on a regular basis with some girlfriends in between. Lots of social media underwear models, strippers and even high end prostitutes (I never paid for the pros).
The result? By age 26 I had been with over 100 stunning girls, most 8/10 and up and all found either in clubs or on tinder.
Did it take a lot of time and effort? Sure, everything good in life does.
Was the opportunity cost big? Yes, it was, but I still managed to graduate from a hard degree, build a thriving business and travel extensively to over 30 countries. If you want something in life, give your best shot and go for it instead of making a bunch of excuses. If your face is so ugly that even fat loss and diet won’t help it, then find a way to make money and get plastic surgery to correct it. That is, if you truly want to fuck a lot of hot girls. it’s all about priorities but if you really want it, it can be done.
Regarding the personality/attitude argument.
While it’s true that personality/attitude (i.e. the fabled confidence) matters, it’s role in the female’s assessment of a man is marginal and highly variative.
1) Each women has her own preferences. Even if you’re a perceptive psychologist who can map her mental profile in a split second, there’s no guarantee that your personality will always match. Sure, you can fake/tweek yours to match her preferences, but can you fake it constantly with every different woman? I don’t think so. What are the chances that you will always meet a woman who likes your particular awesomly lovable personality? It’s totally random. There is a possibility that you may meet 200 women in a row who just happen to dislike your inner type. Even if you have generic, all-around trendy and agreeable character chiseled out of Tinder cliches and intros, there is no guarantee. You may waste a lot of time working on your attitude, completely in vain. Because personality/attitude is a factor that is a highly volatile variable on the receiving end.
2) Mythical confidence is a self-help construct and a delusion. Confidence is a product/sum of society’s reaction to your actions. Aggregate positive reactions over a certain period of time result in high confidence. And vice versa. Confidence is not something you force onto society. It’s the society that grants you confidence. And there is absolutely no way you can cheat or crack the game. Because confidence and confident actions not approved by the society will not be perceived as confidence but as idiocy, lunacy, complexes, frustration or weirdness (you can dig into psychological studies on this matter or you can read David Wong’s articles at Cracked.com – he made a couple of very precise observations).
If a movie star pulls pants over their head, society will say they’re extravagant, quirky, independent, original. If you do the same, you’ll be ridiculed the minute you step out of the apartment, with police searching you for drugs in the next five minutes.
In this regard, the R&B (rich and beautiful) have a huge advantage. All their lives societal circles praise their actions and words. Alpha is confident around women because they’ve always responded positively to their pick-ups, lines, flirts and whatnots. You (we, me) are not, because it was the other way around, even if our behavior, action and words were the same as Alpha’s.
Alas, when it comes to the connection between looks, words and actions, society has rather strict set of preconceptions. Confidence goes with pleasant facial features/stature, and money. Confidence and bad looks and/or short height causes a cognitive dissonance which is why such people are regarded as arrogant, obnoxious, annoying, impolite and uneducated. Can an average brah pull Gatsby’s “Old sport” in everyday situation and be considered charming and confident? No. But Gatsby could. On that phrase he was only challenged by hierarchically superior (and wealthier) Tom Buchannan.
We are programmed for such preconceptions from day one. Fairy tales and movies treat beauty as a virtue in itself. Beauty is not an asset to the good and kind heart. It’s almost as if characters are good because they are beautiful. Ugliness, on the other hand, is a sure sign of wickedness, deceptive nature, evil intentions, murderous proclivities and mental illness.
Average or not attractive brah may believe he’s very confident but society will never share his opinion. As a highly unappealing brah whose peculiar eyes and expression constantly provoke mild aggression and disdain in others (yeah, interaction is hard for me regardless of gender, age and context), I’ve read a ton of various scientific studies regarding beauty and perceptions and have spent many years observing the way people react and interact with each other.
So confidence too, is an unstable variable.
In the end, only looks and money are a constant in a dating/interaction equation. Because even if you are a jerk with personality of a duck and confidence of a seashell, but handsome and tall, you will do better than decent-looking guy with Trump’s confidence and Jesus’ personality. Remember Jeremy Meeks aka the Hot felon? Yeah, imagine what his personality must be like. Now he’s a model and insta-star. Remember Cheng Guorong aka China’s Sexiest vagrant? He ain’t homeless any more. Such is the power of looks.
And there’s nothing you can do, no seminar, no plan, no self-programming that will help you. Unless you opt for a cosmetic surgery. But do you really want to conform to bullshit rules?
I’ve been meaning to ask you how old are you?
Judging by your reasoning, vocabulary, experience, and various culturally significant cues, you must have experienced the landline, analogue, pre-Facebook, bloody-knees-no-big-deal-childhood. You’re at least 36-37, more likely pushing 40. Am I right?
Me too (not to be confused with “I had a morally dubious chance to be famous, but yolo – I rationalized it, and took legal action two decades later when I became rich” movement). I can sense peers.
As I’ve stated in the previous comment, I’ve read a ton of research literature on beauty premiums, attraction biases, socially transmitted mating preferences etc. I ran a couple of crude field tests on FB female acquaintances whom I’ve confirmed as highly intelligent and educated. I falsely assumed that this somehow made them deep and prejudice-free, but I was gravely mistaken. Whenever they’d suggest that a) there are tons of women who are attracted to brains rather than looks and b) that girls are somehow intimidated by my education and knowledge and thus scared to to approach me (dear Lord) I’d ask them out for a date. They always declined saying they already had boyfriends. Which was a big fat lie because I always made sure I ask only those girls whom I confirmed as single (judging on their posts, comments etc.). Whenever I hinted they are being just as shallow and dishonest as sugar babes and bimbos, they’d protest. And whenever I pressed them into the corner with scientific research they’d start defending and incoherently babbling about some evolutionary hard-wires which cannot be controlled. Basically, they said “we are very deep, emotional, spiritual and layered. It’s just this chemical thing we cannot control”. After I while I just became obsessed with confirmation. It wasn’t about dating. I wanted them to admit openly that they don’t give a shit about intelligence and they just value face and height. I believed that because of their education they’d somehow be more sincere and introspective. But they never did. Not one of them ever admitted.
1) Women and their mothers were strongly influenced by the physical attractiveness of the target men and preferred the attractive and moderately attractive targets.
2) Men with the most desirable personality profiles were rated more favorably than their counterparts only when they were at least moderately attractive.
3) Unattractive men were never rated as more desirable partners for daughters, even when they possessed the most desirable trait profiles.
What the hell, how did you get through thousands of approaches without getting sick after the first ones? I never did this, and I never will. I’m 26, no job, no nothing, I’m bald… yeah I’m pretty much fucked, but I still have my dignity intact.
It seems that some have overlooked the fact that truth seeker does not like to drink alcohol and is health and fitness oriented. Society promotes getting drunk and most single women abuse alcohol and want to go to bars. I quit drinking a few years back and I have lost many friends due to the fact threat I had nothing in common with most people who are trying to escape from their lives as often as possible. I am married and after I got bored of drinking and just quit my wife also decided to quit within a few months. My point is that I can not imagine trying to find a women who is health conscious and doesn’t abuse alcohol. I have given up n finding people to hang out with because we don’t drink and being health conscious we don’t go to restaurants. I am in y early fifties and could only see myself staying single and working on myself if were single in this type of environment because life is too good to go back to drinking or being with a fat women.
Natty or not author reminds me of jordan peterson,
Helping men all over the world in regards to men facing challenges from the feminist , goverments and media.
Wow, you are the experienced, cynical, all knowing god amongst us.