The last post had a part called – The Difference Between Intent and Wishes. That little section got a little more attention than I originally expected. And I decided to expand it a bit for further clarification.
Here’s the reality of the situation, fellas.
More often than not people who allegedly “intend” to do something, only wish to do it.
The more someone talks about something, the more likely it is that they are wishing rather than intending.
I can give a million examples – extracted from my life and those of others.
So, let’s do it.
The Permanent Female Tinder Profile
This may trigger some people…oh wait…this isn’t Reddit so I can write whatever I want and no one is going to “downvote me”.
Are you familiar with the concept of Permanent Female Tinder Profiles or (PFTP)?
It’s damn simple. Those would be women who make a Tinder (or another dating app) profile and stay there for years.
When I was still using the apps, I’d often detect those. Sometimes I’d have 6-8-month breaks only to return and see that many of the profiles are still the same. The photos could be slightly different (updated), but the people behind them – still the same.
And that would repeat for years.
Why? What are those women doing there for so long? Are all men they are talking to THAT BAD?
(First, this exposes the lie that women have money options, but this is for another post. )
The truth is that those women only wish to find someone there but don’t have a real intention to do so.
Yes. That’s correct despite how they feel about the situation.
Any average woman who has REAL intent to have a boyfriend can hop on an app, start going on dates immediately (like the same day if she wants to), and find someone acceptable within 1-2 months.
But that could happen only if she is realistic about the world.
Here are some of my experiences:
- Sometimes after a break, I’d match with a profile that has ghosted me before…and they will ghost me again.
- A woman once called me “cute”, talked to me enthusiastically for 1-2 days, and then disappeared. When we matched she was 27. She remained a user of the app until 32 (maybe still is).
- On rare occasions women would match with me, write me first something generic like “hey” and then ghost me after I reply.
- A woman would flake on a date and then keep using the app for years.
…etc.
You get the idea.
But at the same time, I’ve witnessed 2 cases where the women had real intent (not towards me) and bounced quickly.
A female coworker of mine registered on Tinder and found a boyfriend within a week. They were together for 3-4 years.
A local female dentist that I knew was on an app for 1 month. Then, she disappeared and a year later was married with a kid on the way. She now has 2 kids. Her husband is average-looking.
Did those women just get lucky?
To a point, yes. But more importantly, they simply had real intent for something to happen rather than a vague wish.
When you have a vague wish…you go nowhere as proven by the Permanent Tinder Profiles.
If I were to register today, I’d see many of the same faces – only older.
Buying Something
Most experienced sellers know that 99% of people are time wasters. They’d come into a shop, ask you a million questions, leave their fingerprints on everything, and then bounce without buying anything.
Meanwhile, 1% would come with a hand on their wallet and purchase an expensive product in 40 seconds.
What’s even more peculiar (maybe) is that the 99%-ers are rarely if ever convertible into 1%-ers.
What I mean is that no sales tactic can greatly influence them because it’s difficult to create an intent for someone else.
And it takes a wise salesperson to know when to stop explaining/pushing.
My First Car
I bought my first car 18 months ago. Why did I wait so long? Because I never had real intent to purchase a car until that moment.
I’d postpone the purchase even though I knew that a car would increase my quality of life at least to a degree.
And so in October 2022, I started looking for a second-hand car.
My learning car was a Mazda Demio, and I decided to look for a Mazda model. I found one within my budget in 2 weeks. I met the seller. The car was as described, and I bought it.
Sex
You’ve probably seen many movies where a character goes to a bar and finds a sexual partner pretty quickly.
What if I tell you that this is pretty rare in most cases? I’m not saying it never happens, but it’s not all that common.
Most men who go to bars or clubs to score have lost before even stepping into the establishment.
There are some technical reasons for that (e.g., unfavorable female-to-male ratio), but those aren’t the focus today.
Intent reigns supreme once again.
Most men go to those bars wishing to score, but not backing it with action as shown by the lack of approaches.
My last club visit was in 2019. And what I saw there was precisely that – most men stood like trees and never even attempted an approach.
Also, many of the women who go to similar places lack real intent too.
Their primary goal is attention seeking as well as having a chill night. They go there knowingly 100% (consciously or not) that they won’t let anyone’s advances succeed.
Writing a Book
100 years ago, my sister told me that she’d be writing best-sellers if she had the time. She was working a tiresome office job at that point.
I instinctively knew that was nonsense. I had already written A Hater’s Synthesis 1 (my first book) and was familiar with the required effort. If you write 500 words a day, you will have a first draft within six months.
And you know what?
She never wrote anything even after leaving her job.
She stopped writing completely as far as I know. So, the intent simply was never there and the “lack of time” was an excuse to keep her wish a wish.
National Intent
The principle applies on a macro/national level too. The truth is that many countries are stuck in wish mode.
People want to live in a more prosperous state, but the collective intent simply isn’t there. You need a critical mass (e.g.,70%) with intent for something real to manifest.
That’s how revolutions take place – enough people acquire the needed intent and act on it.
The controllers do everything in their power to keep people stuck in wish mode for as long as it’s beneficial, then they catalyze a specific intent and benefit from it (a controlled revolution).
Using The Principle To Your Advantage
Determine a change in your life that you want badly. Be honest.
Put that change in a package that your mind can conceive. For example, if you want more money, don’t set a big goal (e.g., I want to earn a million next year.)
The goal should be conceivable by the mind. If the mind sees it as unrealistic, it will NEVER let you acquire intent.
That doesn’t mean that you should strive for something easy. It should be challenging and a milestone in your life, but not ultra-shocking.
Then set a realistic deadline and put fear away. Don’t ignore it, but realize that you will have to act with it on your shoulder rather than in front of you.
And then implement whatever plan you have. Adjust accordingly.
This isn’t a method that will give you 100% success.
Intent DOES NOT guarantee success, but its absence almost certainly guarantees stagnation/failure.
Nice work…thank’s brother…
Thank you for the support.
Another great article to keep the streak going.
Loved the examples to illustrate your point, especially the first one because of how unorthodox but true it is. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel that nowadays more people (especially in the West) are trapped in “wish mode” than ever before. It’s like if social media and other modern entertainment act like a massive Plato’s cavern that keep people distracted and trapped in a state of decadence/stagnation with incredible efficiency.
I used to have the intent to stop looking at porn but I was only wishing for it till threat of seperation in my Marriage in three weeks when I choose to start 12 step program with Sponsor. Then the intent became geniune once I started working the program on a daily moment by moment instead of oh shit not again.
Truthseeker, can you make a natty or not on David Goggins? He’s 49 years old doesn’t take days off training and he looks like a steroid user even when he was fat.
Would like to see Truth’s thoughts about him too.
Despite his physical feats (which are commendable regardless of the usage or not of special drugs), there’s something about him that always seemed off to me. I read part of his autobiography some time ago and couldn’t help but feel that some parts of it were exaggerated or fabricated for shocking effect (like most of Hollywood adaptations do).
I’ve also been shouting out for an article about David Goggins. Would really like to hear Truth’s thoughts about the “toughest motherfucker” alive. The “stay hard!” Goggins. He’s probably never flaccid. Drugged or not, I would like to have a “full scan” about him, his mentality and all that, because I think Truth could see through that hardened skin.
To me Goggins seems a bit off too. As said, enhanced or not, you can’t take all his accolades away. He is a bona fide certified warrior, and he has done stuff that not many could do, regardless of PEDs or not. A former Navy SEAL, and although I’m not an endurance guy myself, I would still guess that he must be one of the best ultra-athletes there is, and he held a Guiness record in pullups. One tough son of a bitch.
But a strange guy too. Which got to be expected considered all that he has done in one lifetime. He had a very unfortunate childhood, and he had many problems. I don’t remember all the stuff, but I think he barely learned to read and write at school. One thing still that is off for me is that he has often stated that he had all the shortcomings in his life. It’s true mostly, but what is rearely mentioned is that he was also a promising basketball player, and he was able to pull off many physical feats that would have probably killed, crippled or at least badly injured most people. He has to have some very special genetics because he has often done very stupid things and he has gotten off with that stuff too. Yes, he had a hole in his heart and all that. But somehow it was his body that was still able to take all that beating. I think that is a hell of an advantage, a gift, and that doesn’t come only from being hard in the mind.
This is also a reason I would steer away from many of his methods. Yes, he is a great motivator and an example of what may be possible. But for the most part, his practical approaches may be outright dangerous. Another thing is that to my knowledge he has a kid or kids. And if I remember right, he pretty much left his partner and the kid at the time he started to really change his life and pursue his own goals. I know this is not uncommon with the great men, beings special often means being selfish too. I’d still like to know about his partner / partners and about his offspring. Did he cut off all the ties or did something else happen.
Anyways, he was a wishful thinker and stinker too in the past. Then he put the intent into it and morphed into Goggins, and he was able to reach his goals. So, kudos to him. He did pull off something very special. I think that’s why we are here, writing about him.
I don’t know that much about him. I am not a fan following him. I’ve heard some people call some of his accomplishment physically impossible due to timelines and such. I don’t know as I really don’t care all that much about running and stuff.
Personally, I wouldn’t do that to my joints. I think he is on the end of some spectrum, but I guess that’s what made him famous, rich, admired…etc.
let’s be honest goggins is yet another motherfucker who wants to make money off internet views and newly “redpilled” guys. He’s also one of the worst “motivational speakers” simply because his advice is pure bs: “dont sleep” ,”nothing is impossible”, “endure everything like a good slave” etc etc its obvious the guy hasnt read a single book in his life beside its own
Not being able to read and abandoning your family is not uncommon for blacks.
I was, or I’ve been in the wishing mode for years, decades maybe. I believe there are several reasons why it is like that. But lately I’ve been able to put some intent into it too. Last fall I realized that I had been thinking and talking about doing a work-related certificate, maybe a couple of them. I even had already couple of prep courses under my belt for those certs, so you could’ve thought it would’ve been easy to do, but for me it wasn’t. So, I had been wishing to do them. After feeling quite bad about it for a long time because I knew I really should do them to ease my own shitty situation in the job market, I then actually started doing something.
My biggest problems have always been starting new things and sticking with them long enough to get results. I also usually do so much research about things that it turns into just one more way to procrastinate. I also often feel like I don’t have the time. But from sheer frustration, I was finally able to make time for my new project. Here is what I did to turn my wishful thinking into intent.
1, I made a simple plan. I decided which certificate I was going to obtain and how much time I was going to sacrifice for the process. I ended up with a plan where I was going to get ready in one month, and I was going to spend 20 hours to study. I also decided that I was only going to study during workdays, so weekends were off. That equaled to about one hour per day.
2, I made the time for me. I started to wake up at 5 am, made breakfast ready, brushed my teeth and turned on the computer.
3, At about 5:20, I started to study for the certificate exam. I went on for as close to an hour as I could. Sometimes It was less than that, sometimes more. I didn’t set it in stone so that I wouldn’t get too disappointed. I kept a journal to know how much I had studied overall.
4, I tweaked things accordingly. As time went by, I became more flexible, but I still had the intent. I realized after a month that I wasn’t ready yet, so then I just continued to study. After about two months, I felt ready, went for the exam stressed as fuck. But I made it through, easily.
5, I redid the process, I picked a new cert, studied that morning “magic hour”. At some point the time that I studied every morning started to change a bit. Sometimes I studied for 45 minutes, sometimes only 30. I also started to read a book (that had nothing to do with the exams) during that hour, so in the end I was studying less and less. But always when I felt ready, I went to the exam. Although my path changed during the process a bit, I ended up with four certifications in about 6 months or so.
In a nutshell, I only sacrificed one episode a day of my favorite tv-series to study, about 45-60 minutes a day on average. The funny thing about this is that the last cert I did was by far the most difficult and the most valuable of all the certs I did. And for that I studied for less than two weeks. This was because I messed up with a few things and ended up with a bit of a time problem. But what happened is that the specificity principle went into action for me.
At his point I had been studying for months for certification exams. So, I was able to tweak the process to a more efficient way because I had a bigger time pressure than before, and because I had gotten better at studying specifically for the exams. I basically felt that I was now able to cheat. Of course, these exams were proctored live, so I couldn’t cheat. But according to the research about these exams and of the people who try to pass them, statistically I shouldn’t have been able to pass the exam after less than two weeks of studying. Only reason I was able to do it was because I had become better at studying for those types of exams, I knew what I had to do to pass. I didn’t pass the exam with flying colors, but I just made it. And it was enough.
Am I now a leading expert professional specialist in these things? Fuck no. Did I earn a shit ton of money? Nope. Am I a freaking cheating genius? Hell no. Am I still a sad, depressed middle-aged dude who has very low self-esteem? Yes, I am. But I was still able to put my wishes into action. And I’m at least a bit proud of that. Especially about the last exam, even though I learned the least about the subject of that. But I was able to beat the odds.
Good job and a very helpful comment.