At the beginning of the year, the stock value of wishes and promises goes really high. “I want to learn Chinese, karate, tennis, and judo while improving my poetry and piano skills,” wrote Johnny in his journal on January 1st. Cool story, bro. It’s 8 months later. Did you do it or am I catching […]
Bodybuilding thongs on the bed, steroid needles on the night stand, used bottles of testosterone on the ground, Viagra and a plastic trophy on the book shelves – this was the hotel room of Riki Pianola, a middle-aged heavyweight bodybuilder. After taking a shower Riki stared at his reflection in the mirror and began contemplating […]
This story took place during the summer of my high school graduation. I was in the living room, looking for wisdom in old magazines when my old hammer-proof phone started ringing. The wooden table was vibrating along with it. “Hello! Who is it?” “H! I am calling on behalf of advertising agency CreativeSolutions. We have […]
During his afternoon break Harry (better known online as TheBicepsFLEX-Killa) decided to check the new posts of his favorite bodybuilders on Instagram. Harry was a hardcore bodybuilding fan reading muscle magazines constantly. He was sucked deep into the muscle illusion and believed that most of the fairy tales written in those thong and bikini catalogs […]
Two businessmen with a variation of Christiano Ronaldo’s hair style and loads of dirty money to burn were in the gym talking about wrist watch brands. On the outside, those bozos appeared to be knowledgeable and passionate successful men. However, I knew that they were nothing but snobs addicted to shiny things. “Unless it’s a […]
I was doing leg presses in a fridge-sized gym resembling an underground dungeon designed by mentally ill fans of the almighty rainbow pony. The rush hour was going strong. Muscle building monkeys were dancing with dumbbells in their hands and bumping chaotically into each other. An ancient rap CD with the greatest hits of all […]
It’s hot. I have to open the window. A smell of urine mixed with beer and steak comes from the neighbor below. What is he doing? I don’t want to know. I can hear his TV. It’s blasting а popcorn morning show for individuals who are into the “Secret” – a world where you wish […]
My rebellious left hip was starting to resent the mentally ill squat ambition in me. The pain and misery from last week forced me to make the day light – no heavy lifting, just a few sets of barbell overhead presses. Rumor has it that a true permabulker cries himself to sleep when that happens. Since […]
I had an hour or two to kill and decided to visit the mall nearby. The tropical weather outside trying to set my hair on fire kinda pushed me in, to be honest. The fellow humanoids coming in and out of the polished glossy stores appeared happy and content to live a dream that somebody […]
It was only 2 o’clock in the afternoon, but I was already exhausted from hours of hard clicking on my dusty keyboard which had a few missing keys and a left CTRL button working past retirement. The repetitive motions were making it very difficult to keep my eyes open and continue this brutal keyboard exploitation. […]
A few years ago, I worked desk-to-desk with a permabulker on oral steroids. He was essentially the main slave of our boss. It was expected of him to fix all kinds of problems. The boss wants music playing in the bathroom? Find a way. The boss wants fruits in the kitchen? Go buy them. The […]
Today I saw a woman that looked perfectly fine until she decided to turn backward. There was a huge tattoo on her upper back – a wolf and a bear looking towards the sky with opened mouths. I almost lost it once this “work of art” got into my view. Was she trying to make […]