Brothers and sisters, the time has come. I am launching my own supplement company. It is called Natty Nutrition. Below is an interview that will clarify a lot of things for you.
Q: What made you start your own supplement line?
A: I got tired of seeing professional bodybuilders launching supplement companies while I rot.
If those walking pharmacies with bean-sized brains can do it, I can do it too. After all, even low IQ people like Gregg Valentino and Rich Piano have their supplement lines. I guess the 5-7 word vocabulary (fuck, fuck it, motherfucker, fuck motherfuckers) is not a problem.
If they can do it, why can’t I?
Q: What’s special about Natty Nutrition?
A: I am working with a world-class team of scientists that will produce protein powder with phenomenal qualities. It will absorb better than anything else on the market. The guys are preparing something really special. We tested it on lab rats, and let me tell you – they got swol. Honestly, the effect that this powder will have on the industry is tremendous. I can see a revolution coming. Don’t be surprised if I update the guide for natural bodybuilders by 40-50 lbs. Natty Nutrition will make this possible. It’s time to write a new chapter in the history of bodybuilding.
Q: How will you beat the competition? I heard that even Layne Norton is launching a powder company?
A: I already told you. My chemical friends have engineered a formula that will destroy everything on the market. I am not joking. We have something that’s the equivalent of the computer mouse back in the day. Our formula will become a stable. I don’t care about the competition, to be honest. I have no doubt in my mind that our product line will be the Rolex of the supplement industry. Compared to the muscle bazooka that we are preparing, the rest are cheap Chinese watches made in the basement of a drug dealer
Q: Yes. But you are anonymous, and you don’t have a Ph.D.? Doesn’t that bother you?
A: Not really.
Q: Don’t you have a moral problem with this business move? After all, you‘ve said that supplements are good only when your mouth is broken.
A: I used to have a hard time sleeping at night. I felt bad. I didn’t want to look like a sellout. But when I saw that people do not really care how much time it has taken me to write over 1300 pages exposing the industry, I said to myself – ”Fuck it.” They will never learn.
The attacks against me are unparalleled. Every day there’s a new guy telling me to die in Hell with my ”pathetic genetics”. I exposed everything in this industry, and yet people are still paying more attention to the clowns/fake natties talking about their mushroom tips on YouTube. Meanwhile, I have been working the same job for the last decade. With my work on the site, I spend close to 16 hours in front of a computer every day. My body can’t handle it anymore.
Q: Don’t you think that you sound like a little greedy bitch?
A: I guess I do – just like the rest of them. Those clowns have prize money, sponsors, YouTube channels, clothing lines, websites, movie appearances but are never satisfied.
Q: When is the official start of Natty Nutrition?
A: I can’t tell you exactly because I have chosen a very special date.
A: When I am dead.
A: I have instructed people to cremate me and put some of my dust in the first few samples. It’s kinda like getting a personal autograph from the CEO.