A heavyweight rain playing with everything beneath the clouds attacked the city. My shoes with holes in the soles reported bankruptcy rather fast. I had to find a place to hide. Since I was in the period of your life when shiny shop windows attract you the most, I entered a large store with multiple floors, hoping to find consolation.
I decided to go to the large bookstore on the 4th floor. I would like to say that my choice was dictated by a strong desire to achieve a spiritual elevation, but the truth is that this was the place with the lowest prices. It suited my broke status.
The spam hit me in the elevator. There were posters promoting a revolutionary self-help book capable of transforming your life. It was called ”Transform Yourself Into…..uhuhuhu something”. I don’t remember the rest. The author had white curly hair and three million dollar golden glasses. He was a local professor pushed forward by the brotherhood.
His look in the poster was supposed to be profound and intelligent, but it wasn’t. It reminded me of the stupid faces that you see everywhere when there are elections. The photographer had tried to make the author look like a deep and sophisticated philosophical guy, but to me, he was just another bureaucratic bozo.
This genius had one of those faces that you just want to slap with the back of your hand. I don’t know why, but I felt the urge to show him my long middle finger. It felt stupid and good at the same time. For a second, I wondered whether there were cameras in the elevator. Was I under surveillance? I decided to give multiple middle fingers in all directions just to be sure that everybody feels appreciated.
Once I entered in the large bookstore the spam continued. This guy’s head was everywhere. Apparently, deep pockets were sponsoring his campaign. I felt like throwing ninja stars at his forehead and slapping his cheeks with his own book.
The store was fairly empty because most humanoids were still at work. There was one of those rich middle-aged guys with too much free time. He was going through expensive encyclopedias with glossy hardcovers. The man was probably choosing a gift for another member of the pretentious rich men crew consisting primarily of old suits who are not men enough to admit that the silver spoons in their mouths are the reason for their successes. In addition, the guy was constantly looking with the corner of his eyes at the legs of a girl that could be his daughter. She was wearing one of those funky alternative leggings.
The square watery eyes of this rich wanker were full of dirty desire to squeeze the living juice out of that girl and then throw her away. This was another reminder of the world we live in.
At that point, I gave up.
”Damn it. Let’s see if this book can actually help me transform,” I said to myself and grabbed a copy.
The font was size 200. There was enough space between the lines to write a second book. I went to the content section and saw a chapter entitled ”Why the rain is good for you?”. Once I started reading, the disappointment quickly reached level strong. Instead of finding one of those philosophical lines that recharge your batteries and give you hope that change is coming, I faced something like that – ”The rain is good because it makes the air fresh.” Really, bro?
The poodle followed this profound statement with a recommendation to put buckets outside to collect water. According to this guy, there are no bad situations – only situations. He believed that the ultimate tactic is to shape all events accordingly and profit instead of complaining constantly. This can happen in some cases, but as people, we don’t have as much control as you might think.
In the next chapter, the guy presented some of the CEOs that the media constantly pushes in your face as the epitome of success. I wasn’t the developed hater that I am today, and yet I felt like ripping the fucking book in half, setting it on fire and shoving it straight into the mouth of this rich wanker who was still checking out the young girl and dreaming of sliding his ancient genitalia covered in dirty money into her.
I didn’t know it at the time but know I do. The biggest problem with self-help books is that they are half-true fairy tales written by wannabe spiritual gurus who want to appeal to the mainstream public.
We have been convinced that by reading a book and thinking ”positively” our lives will transform. ”Do you want to be a billionaire? Work hard. Visualize it and one day you may join the club.” Many pointless self-help propaganda booklets contain similar lines.
The truth is that you will never be a billionaire unless money runs in your genes. If you are one of those hipsters reading the biography of Steve Jobs while riding the bus on the way to school, remember this – you see only what they want you to see.
Another misleading element of self-help books is the soft and politically correct language. The authors love to sugar coat things.
”No, it’s not your fault. You weren’t the one inserting burger after burger in your mouth for years. It was someone else. It wasn’t you. Don’t blame yourself. You are good. Be positive. Imagine that you are not a whale anymore, and tomorrow you won’t be. Arnold used to visualize that his biceps are mountains, and they became mountains. Why can’t the same happen to you?” This type of softness rarely leads to anything other than the next self-help book of the other.
The soft and pleasing motivational books are written in baby language protecting the feelings of the 40 something guys living with their moms and wearing gym pants pulled up all the way into their butts. The authors try to keep everyone happy in order to sell the candies.
The mentioned negative qualities are often found in mainstream self-help books promoted on morning TV shows by charlatans. The TV format allows frauds to reach a vulnerable group – the lonely people who have a TV for a friend. All popular books in this category are written in a way that appeals to this crowd.
One time I saw a clip promoting the so-called ”Secret book” in which a guy said that every time he is about to park his car, he just imagines that there is an empty spot waiting for his BMW. This statement set my mind on fire. What the hell? That’s on mainstream media? What’s next? Imagine that you have wings, and you will be able to fly tomorrow? Seriously? Give me a break.
Having said that, self-help books can also have a positive side. However, that can happen only if the author is honest. When essential elements are hidden from the report, it becomes worthless.
The best way to avoid scams is to stay away from books promising fast results without much work. If it’s too good to be true, and the corrupt cold-blooded reptile like TV hosts promote it, it’s probably too good to be true.
I see wannabe positive people almost every day. I can’t stand similar individuals and their fake grimaces. I am sorry, but you can’t avoid negativity. It’s unnatural. It’s like having a day without a night or a night without a day if you are Batman.
I am not saying that letting your anger go wild will do you good. It won’t. But you can’t expect to feel great all the time. Sometimes you just have to admit that something is bad. This is a fact that the phony guys doing yoga in the park have a hard time understanding. They think that the world exists to make them happy. Wake up, wannabes! You are sucked deep into the vacuum of illusions.
In case you are wondering what happened next, I will tell you.
I felt even more disgusted and left the bookstore. It was still raining outside, and I quickly transformed into a wet puppy, but it felt good. The poodle’s face was no longer in front of me. His pretentious advice was about to be forgotten too.