Why I Don’t Talk To Women Who Have No Astronomical Interest In Me Anymore

| by Truth Seeker |

One of my biggest dating mistakes (there are many) was talking to lukewarm women.

It resulted in the most pain, wasted time, and a lot of frustration. And I wish, I’d become wiser earlier, but it is what it is. We have to live with the consequences of our actions as best as we can.

Lukewarm women a.k.a.neither-interested-nor-disinterested women are the worst because they form the largest percentage of women that will show attention towards you.

However, they are close to impossible to convert and will cause the LARGEST emotional turmoil that you will experience as a result of the romance game.

Here are the characteristics of a lukewarm woman:

  • She seems interested, but not committed. She could be replying fast (especially at first), but scheduling a date with her is a painful, nightmarish process filled with pretensions and procrastination.
  • She would constantly do a lot of “out of class” activities such as trips, marathons…etc. instead of meeting you.
  • She wouldn’t text you first even once in her life.
  • She doesn’t show interest in the content you put on social media (doesn’t watch your stories, like them…etc.)
  • Often forgets things you’ve told her.
  • Often leaves you on seen, and puts pressure on you to keep the conversation going.

You get it.

Ultimately, if you have to ask yourself if a woman is lukewarm or not, you already know the answer – she is.

Drop such women ASAP. They will drag you down harder than the iceberg hitting the Titanic.

The Initial Interest Always Goes Down

Here’s a fundamental RULE that one must internalize.

The initial interest that anyone has in you (or vice versa) always goes down after a while.  


Doesn’t matter who you or they are.

There are many reasons for that and to list and explain them all, we have to convert to a new post.

But the main ones are:

  • The novelty effect wears off.
  • Our imagination meets reality


Let’s use some numbers. 

A lukewarm woman has about 60/100 interested in you.

50/50 is the middle line. Anything below 50 = disinterest. Anything above = interest begins

At 60/100, she has some interest.

But as time goes by (sometimes as short as a day – I kid you not), the interest could go from 60/100 to as low as 20-40/100.)

At 40/100, her interest is so low, that you have a greater chance of getting hit by a car when going to the store than building something real with her.

In practice, we need a woman who’s at least 80/100 interested in us.


Because it’s necessary to remain above 50/100 to be in the game. And this value gives us a higher chance to be at 50-60/100 after the initial drop.

I can’t keep her interest = she never had any

A lot of men are wondering how to increase the interest of a woman.

The best ways are:

  • get more attractive (the most effective method with younger women)
  • get richer (the most effective method with older women)
  • don’t care as much (the least effective with any woman and the one producing the most fleeting results)

Neither of those (apart from faking the “I don’t care attitude.”) can be done in a short time frame.

So, your chances of increasing your current girl’s interest are short as she won’t wait for you to upgrade.

Whatever improvements you make, will only affect the future – not today. Thus, they are made for the women that you will potentially meet at another point in your life.

Yes, of course, I’ve heard of stories where the man and woman fight together and build empires, but I’ve also heard of people winning lotteries.

Those events happen, but the statistical likelihood is too low for me to care about them.

Thus, by pre-selecting women with 80/100 interest, you increase your chances of success in the present a.k.a. the most important time fragment.

And if you need to climb Everest to keep some girl, she never had enough interest in you, to begin with.

The Avalanche Effect

As a woman’s interest gets lower, each action that you make tends to be perceived as more and more negative. This is the avalanche effect.

Her level of interest determines the polarity of your actions.

A woman that’s 100/100 for a man could see even legit crimes as positive even though they represent a negative when it comes to their absolute value.

If she has 20/100 interest in a man, no action on his part will increase his chances with her (unless some weird pity-based situation takes place).

How To Determine Level Of Interest

People have specific communication radars acting on conscious and subconscious levels. Those detect not only words but also intonation, body language, and even radio waves.

With enough time, you will decode a woman’s interest like 1, 2, 3.

But ultimately, it comes down to the effort that she makes both on the keyboard and away from the keyboard.

A woman who has high enough interest will:

  • Reply promptly (not necessarily right away, but you won’t have to think whether she’s playing texting games. It will just feel ok.)
  • Make it easier to meet her (e.g., She will make time for YOU instead of EXCUSES why she can’t.)
  • Very rarely (but not never), she will text you FIRST to see what you are up to.
  • She will react somehow (e.g., in a text message) to the content that you’re uploading.

In other words, a woman who has an interest in you is IN YOUR TEAM.

She doesn’t make things harder. She makes them possible. She is committed to the mission (at least for the time being).

From High Interest To Low Interest

It’s difficult to go from low interest to high interest, but it’s possible to go from high to low in no time.

As with anything in life, it’s always easier to destroy than to build. In other words, it takes 1 unit of bad luck to destroy 10 units of interest towards you.

A woman can lose interest in you in an hour. I’ve had that happen to me, but you’ve already heard a lot of examples so I will spare you another nonsensical romantic interaction of mine.

The point is this, though – don’t TRY to preserve interest. It won’t work. It may even backfire.

I am not saying to kill interest on purpose. Just be balanced. Like water.

It’s Never The Details

A lot of people, me included, have at least at one point attributed their lack of success to some nonsense details. This is one of those correlation/causation situations.

You would think that the source of your demise is something small e.g., you texted her 1 hour too early, but it’s always something bigger e.g., She finds you too short.

That’s the way of life today. Painful. Dreadful. Dishonest and Nasty.

The Red Pillers like Tomassi and his clan of annoying late middle-aged self-proclaimed experts who spend most of their time pumping bullshit podcast after podcast will tell you that with a few tweaks here and there, something magical will happen while they continue to dwell in their basements recording social clips and theorizing red pill “strategies”.

Here’s the deal – it’s never the details. It’s always the bigger picture.


It’s always about who you are, not about the color of your shoes or your text punctuation.

It’s always about the money, not about the style of wallet that you’re carrying.

That’s why I don’t do “game” anymore. I am just calm and collected. I don’t try to impress or impose. I don’t try to be funny or not funny.

As I already said, I am just like water. Steady and present, but also fluid and real.

Find The Right Person > Behavioral Tweaks

Ultimately, the hardest part is to find a woman who has at least 80/100 interest in you. It’s not easy. Not at all. It has happened to me only 1-2 times (depending on how you look at things).

To get to those women, I had to pass through mountains of lukewarm females who would eat my time like fire eats oxygen.

Hopefully, my demise will prevent yours. Learn from my mistakes.

As soon as you categorize a female as lukewarm, just move on. The faster the drop, the less time it will take you to find one that has the magic 80/100 interest.

The more days you spend at the checkpoints, the longer the years of stagnation will become.

Until next time,

“The Natty Professor”

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  1. Jose

    This kind of reinforces your “always go for the kiss” principle.

    As you tell here, it can incredible easy and fast (especially if you are a socially awkward/introvert man like me lol) to drop the sexual/romantic interest of a woman who might’ve been initially attracted to you. If you aren’t a “natural” when it comes to social skills and charisma, every conversation with a potential match feels like walking on eggshells.

    For that reason, besides obviously working on your presence and aura, I think it is better to be upfront as soon as possible about what kind of relationship you are looking for. Most women are extremely fickle; waiting too much for the “right time” to ask her out and chatting/talking too much will only increase the risk of lowering her interest to the bottom and losing your chance of going somewhere.

    1. SamS

      Truth’s “Always go for the kiss” kind of reminds me of basic boxing tactics. A boxer can try to fight perfectly, go for full rounds, dance and move and hope to score enough points to win the fight in the eyes of judges. Then again, a boxer can take matters in his own hands and try to knock the dance partner out. That way he doesn’t necessarily need to work overtime and wait for the unpredictable results. This is a risky tactic, and he might get clipped. But it’s a choice. I like knockouts, so I would go for the kiss.

  2. Shane

    So what you are saying, Truth Seeker, is that there is no point in trying since it is already predetermined if a woman will like you in the future right from when you met her the first time? Dating therefore is not a ‘game’ or a skill to develop. ?

    1. Truth Seeker Post author

      Well, there is some skill, of course, but its lever is short. Today everything is about appearance, money, status…etc.

      The reality is that your behavior, as long as it’s not on the end of a spectrum, matters little to none. But if you were 5 times richer or notably more attractive, your prospects will increase and women will be a lot kinder to you.

      It’s superficial, but it works. Behavior? Well, that’s a blue pill/natty lifting.

      Do you really think people like DeCaprio are that great when you get to know them and have some amazing personality traits?

      Romance today (maybe in the past too) is based on a paper foundation.

  3. mattsk1

    I sucked at dating so I got Married. I have average looks and money, anxious as hell and lived with my folks. Marriage happend to me when I quit dating and started doing things I liked to do in a community setting. For me it was Kareoke at the bar on the weekend and going to my Church singles group that met on Fridays. My wife said I won her with my confidence when we first met and she was phyiscally attracted to the way I looked and dressed. That was my experience 12 years ago and we are still together.

    1. Jose

      Thanks for sharing your experience. Glad that your marriage is seemingly working out great.

      Your case proves that context is very important when you are looking for a partner. You should only approach women with similar/compatible beliefs and principles if you are looking for something more than “free” monkey sex (and I wouldn’t even recommend the latter). Trying to date incompatible women just for the sake of dating (or because their looks) is often a waste of time and a recipe for disaster.

      Unfortunately, in some countries or cities the culture is so homogenous that, unless you are a normie conforming 100% to the mainstream, you will struggle not only to date, but also to make friends. The solution sometimes is simply to move to other place where you don’t feel like an outcast.

  4. Saturn

    Excellent post. I recently had 2 Tinder matches. Both decent looking women, werent covered in tattoos or piercings nor were they single moms. Myself being a 32 year old 6.5-7/10 looking dude, and at 6’2 and sporty I dont think I’m a bad catch. But I’m not rich, nor do I got any status. And no I’m not imagining this, I’ve approached and gotten approached at bars/clubs by several 6-8/10 looking girls with good results. Just not the kind of women I would consider dating, ever.

    Convo’s were doing okay as usual, but neither initiated any conversations during the 3-4 days I talked with them. Thats always a red flag to me. My 4 past long term relationships always involved the girl in question showing real interest in me. So I left both of them on read for a day or two to see if they’d care. Neither did, so I deleted and blocked them.

    Background: I live in a town of 55k people, and its losing younger people to the big cities left right and center so whats left here is pretty slim especially if you dont want a slut, tattooed and pierced up attention whore, single mom, a fatty, raging feminist or a social media addict. Those are pretty much my only criteria, along with average level intelligence. Just a normal woman who looks average and has a warm personality would be godlike. I used to get 1-2 matches a month, now its more slim since I’ve blocked so many of those unwanted profiles.

    These days I have a rule: if they dont respond to my message within 24 hours, I delete and block. If they dont respond within 48 hours after them having sent the last message in the style of “haha yeah” I delete and block.

    For my last relationship a woman fitting the criteria actually approached me on another online dating site (you need to cast as wide a net as possible as a man). Said she liked my pics and bio. First time that happened. Could be the last. Not easy out here if you have the most basic of standards.

  5. dr Deka

    Since there is no way to stop interesting decrease, what to do in modern (western) civilization, when the level of inerest drop below edge? Particularly, when they have children.

  6. Zack

    Years ago, I couldn’t get a date for the life of me. But the guy driving his own S Klasse Benz (leased) had a younger hot girlfriend.
    He was short and bald (no offense to any reader, bad teeh and breath, but was a driver for events at his own company (yes, the only employee, the only car). But that seemed to be very interesting for her.
    It’s sad, man… Even when they are interested in you, they are actually not… They are interested in the things you own and what you do to get money. Your personality matters in the form of: is he enough to bear

    1. Jose

      Sadly you nail it.

      Unless you are still a teenager/young adult still in highschool/college, looks and personality are not the big deal some influencers tell nowadays. In the adult world, money and status are what most women look for in a partner like your example and the one of Saturn proves.

      I’d bet that if Leonardo DiCaprio had an average job and social status, he wouldn’t have the luxury of getting a steady supply of gorgeous and young women like he does lol. In fact, you can find men who are as good looking or more than him in every big city but have a modest romantic/sexual life at best because they simply don’t have the hype and validation (as dumb and overrated it might be) of a celebrity.

  7. Edward

    ”She wouldn’t text you first even once in her life.”
    This is the biggest red flag ever……I have never had success with women who never made any first move! If she texted you once without you ever doing anything…..she’s not lukewarm, otherwise you’re simply daydreaming!

    1. Jose

      A woman doing the first move is always a good sign. However, you should avoid the mistake of thinking you can rest on your laurels and open too much to her just because of that. It can be incredibly easy to turn her off and lose any chance you initially had to make her your lover.

  8. Pedro

    I would like to add my 2 cents: never fall in love within a first glance interaction.
    Sometimes it will occur that within a first time interaction a girl/woman will give you a smile/glance that will trigger a powerful response in your brain, and it can be easily confused with 80/100 interest. When that happens to me…it’s 60/100 at most, barely good enough to get a date or a phone number.

  9. Jonathan Matthews

    I really like this article. My experience has taught me that I am attractive enough that women typically tell me I look good or I’m handsome. I used to post on Craigslist a lot and I’d get chicks replying to my ads. Many ads were just looking for platonic relationships but I posted a lot of casual/hook up type of ads too and both ads attracted escorts/hookers and LTR seekers and both kinds told me this. I’ve thought about going on dating apps to see how I fare. I’ve seen a lot of black pill content lately on youtube and they believe it’s all about the face, height and physique over everything else to get women.

  10. TruthLover

    @TruthSeeker, I read about this in a book called Mode One. Have you read that book as well?

  11. TC

    Women who are not a good match for you will lose interest with time. Let them go.

    Women who are a good match will gain interest with time (if you don’t give them a reason not to, which guys have a habit of doing).

    Show up, make a bit of an effort to show your best side without over investing, then let the woman choose you (or not). Don’t try to change her mind. It’s selfish and pointless. Accept that women are natures selectors, that’s their prerogative for the greater risks they carry in the mating game.

    I think a large part of the problem people (guys and girls both) have is that what we think we want isn’t necessarily what’s good for us. We don’t understand why we’re attracted to certain person; we just are.

    And Truthseeker, I love your stuff but it irks me when people use celebrities and rich people to make their point. These are such extreme outliers that they are not even worth considering.

  12. fanofthesite

    It’s funny watching this happen in real time and knowing what’s happening when the parties themselves are oblivious. I just watched it happen right now in a coffee shop.

    Girl was sitting at a table. Not super hot or anything, but kind of cute. Must have been like mid 20s. Guy walked in, sat across the room. Looked to be late 30s, maybe early 40s, in really good shape; built but definitely not roided. Super solid jaw line though (remember this one). Full head of hair. I saw he parked in an Mercedes S class, but I not sure of the girl could see it from her angle. Immediately they were giving each other looks; it was pretty obvious.

    Moments later another guy walked in and sat at a table beside the girl. This guy was like 5’5, not out of shape but not in shape, late 20s early 30s asian guy, balding on top. Also, zero jaw line. This guy begins to yap at the girl for like 20 minutes, and the girl is super nice, polite, not dismissive. Finally after like 20 minutes she can’t take it anymore and gets up to leave though Im sure she hadn’t planned on it based on how she was set up. Asian guy tries to leaver same time in an obvious attempt to pick her up but fails hard as she diverts to the bathroom and ditches him as he leaves. As she comes out, the guy she was making eyes with across the room waves at her and she goes over immediately. I see some phone action, I hear the words I’ll call you, and off she goes.

    Oh, and did I mention the guy had a wedding ring on. Yeah, she didn’t seem to care even slightly, or didn’t notice it. Either way it wasn’t a factor.

    The point here is that the attraction from the girl was instantaneous. She assessed the worth of each guy and within moments had made her choice. No matter what the asian guy did he could never in a million years ever sway her while the other one had her at first sight. I don’t think she saw his car either, pretty sure it was entirely physical.

    Key differences seem to be:
    1) Jaw line
    Winner had like a giga chad jawline, loser had a chin that disappeared into his neck.
    2) Height
    though they were sitting down, it was clear that the winner was somewhere near 6 foot. Maybe not even that tall, but he was clearly taller than the girl while the loser was maybe her height.
    3) General physical shape
    Loser was completely non descript, borderline skinnyfat. Winner was in good shape. Not roided, but pretty jacked arms for a natty and no fat.
    4) Hair
    Full head of hair vs balding. Simple.

    Looking at these factors half of them are pure genetic. Height and hair are out of your control. Even jaw line is mostly predetermined; sure you can get rid of neck fat but you can’t add bone to your jaw. I wonder if the the other factors even really matter that much. My own prediction is that a girl is going to chose the height, hair, and jaw line because she can always get the guy to lose weight and workout.

    I hadn’t intended to write something this long but it was incredible to watch this play out in real time.

    Based on what I just saw I would say that things are determined within about 5 seconds of meeting.

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