Why I Will Most Likely Never Use Kettlebells

| by Truth Seeker |


My first rendezvous with a kettlebell took place a decade ago in a dirty store for sporting goods. The place was a metal shack one blow away from total destruction. I bought a dumbbell handle and two 1.25kg plates that I use to this very day. The total was something like 5 kilograms. “Heavy.”

I remember the fat lady that sold them to me. She gave me a nasty look saying: “With or without those dumbbells, you will remain a pussy forever. I can hear your heartbeat, skinny boy.” Then she laughed and returned to watching a small TV.

In the evening I did biceps curls with all 5 kilograms. My arms were super sore for the next five days. Maybe the fat bitch had a point.

Among the other goods at that place, there were a few kettlebells on the ground. I tried lifting one, but it felt incredibly heavy, and I stopped. Later, I learned that the kettlebells sold at that place were filled with sand and of very poor quality despite costing a lot of money – almost double the price of a dumbbell of the same weight.

At the time, I did not have the money to buy a kettlebell. Now, many years after this life changing experience, I can afford to buy more iron, but I still find kettlebells too expensive.

A few weeks ago, I was planning to order a couple of high-quality kettlebells from the Internet, but after calculating how much I will have to pay for two kettlebells and the shipping, I had no choice but to press ALT+F4 and close my browser. It was time to go to bed anyway.

For the same amount of paper, I can find a quality barbell and many plates. In brief, I can’t justify spending so much on kettlebells while knowing very well that my physical goals can be achieved without the use of this “underground Russian weapon”.

Honestly, kettlebells remind me of Apple. As a result of snobbish marketing, the products have a special aura that justifies the high price in the minds of the fan-boys and fan-girls. Sorry, but you can do the same thing with a PC for a fraction of the price.

Having said that, kettlebells definitely have advantages over dumbbells in some situations. I would use them if they were reasonably priced. I guess we were never meant to be together.

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One comment

  1. 3C

    They’re good for swings and goblet squats. Other than that i wouldn’t bother.

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