My dating experience led me to the following conclusion:
Men always look for a reason to say “yes” while women look for a reason to say “no”.
This is why dates are so tense when you are a man. It’s not said out loud, but you can subconsciously feel that you’re being HEAVILY evaluated. Hence why many men compare dates to job interviews.
It’s your “performance” that’s judged, not hers. The woman is the employer giving you the test while you’re the employee that goes under hard pressure to complete the exam.
Since the tests are extremely hard to pass, most men are willing to accept less-than-ideal “working conditions”, metaphorically speaking.
You’re willing to work more for less. You’re willing to ignore obvious problems with the position. But you don’t criticize the employer even in your head.
Meanwhile, the employer/women are more than happy to reject you over the smallest detail. One wrong move and it’s game over for you.
I will illustrate this with examples from my life:
1. One year ago, a woman told me ” you look taller in your photos.” I am about 183cm and often end up being among the tallest people on a public bus. I was also taller than her. But there she was. A princess criticizing me for not being the ultimate giraffe.
This is a perfect example of how much women have been spoiled. Meanwhile, she was a 28-year-old waitress with nasty yellow teeth, greasy hair and dirty jeans.
2. One time a woman blocked me because I said: “I don’t like traveling. I think it’s overrated. Tourists are just consumers pretending to be sophisticated.”
I guess I hit a sensitive spot there.
3. I’ve been rejected for not having a nice car at least once. It’s funny. Women would not be happy that you have a basic Nissan in good condition but would be impressed if you have some 20-year-old BMW or Mercedes on its last legs with a dashboard full of errors.
4. On a first date, a woman asked me to take a selfie with her so that she can send it to her mother. I refused and said to her that if her mother wants to see me, they can just look at my Facebook profile.
As you can guess, this was a deal-breaker for her.
Can you imagine the reverse situation? What would happen if a man asks a woman for a selfie for his father? (haha)
…etc.
But women are not the only ones demanding maximum performance from men.
The rest of the world does so too.
As a man, your performance is ALWAYS judged by women, other men, the media…etc.
Guess, what?
As long as you agree to play their game, they will never stop. You give them an inch, they demand a mile. The more you play, the more you lose. They will never stop.
And the most ironic part of it all, is that the more you try to satisfy them, the less they give you back. The more you give, the less you’re appreciated.
Read that again because it’s true about all kinds of human relationships.
The people who give the most are often those criticized the most.
For example, if a kid has one responsible parent doing everything and another that is rarely home, the kid will criticize the present parent rather than the absent one.
Why? Because the kid knows consciously or not that the doer parent will react somehow. Also, the doer creates an opportunity to be evaluated. When you do nothing, there’s nothing to judge.
A Painful Exercise
I challenge you (and myself) to perform the following exercise:
For some time, allow yourself to demand more from the women you meet.
Don’t become a maniac rejecting women over trivial things for the sake of it but raise the bar notably.
Go for women that are physically and emotionally more attractive to YOU. If you don’t like a woman, bounce without guilt. They do it all the time. What gives them the right and takes it from you?
Stop playing the game of satisfaction because you will never win it.
If You Don’t Demand More, You Will Never Get More.
If you let other people give you what they think you deserve, you will always get nothing.
If you don’t demand more, you will never get more. Of course, we all have to be realistic, but men have lowered the bar to the point where the only criteria for a woman is to be a woman.
I would rather see a loser man go for the princess than a winner go for Cinderella.
Back in the day, my family members said that I probably want too much from women and that’s why things don’t work out.
It was the opposite. My standards were incredibly low. For example, a weak 4/10 woman was enough for me.
Guess, what? Those women gave me the most annoying experience.
Don’t Be Afraid To Reject Women
Men often suffer from infatuation. You start communicating with a woman and immediately create an idealistic image out of her even though she isn’t even close to the person you’re building in your head.
It takes a lot of time for a person to prove themselves and become special. This is true, of course, for both parties.
Feeling heartbroken over a girl that you barely know, or worse – one that you’ve never met, is just illogical.
Don’t waste time on women that don’t deliver.
She isn’t responding to your texts? Bounce
She constantly rejects a date? You should’ve bounced after the first rejection.
…etc.
Demand more. Demand better and don’t apologize.
Hello TruthSeeker, I would like to know why are you so creatively lately?
You have been posting quite consistely recently.
Jose from Madrid, Spain
Winning or losing is relative. Men should try to win for themselves. If they do, with it, then they can go after luxuries aka women. In the meantime we can try, but if it goes sour, bounce
Honest question:
Id like you guys to stop and think for a moment: if this whole relationship situation where just the other way around. That is: men have less sexual desire than women and have thousands female followers on instagram who would be constantly complimenting and hitting on you. Just like men do with women.
Dont you guys think that, in this situation, we men would be treating women similar the way women use to treat us?
Im afraid we would. I think if we had plenty of options like they do, we would start not to care much about hurting women’s feelings and breaking their hearts.
Dont you think, deep inside, we people are all the same?
Ultra-high-value males already do that to an extent. Of course, you would raise you criteria when you swim in abundance.
But women aren’t as hit on as you might think. They don’t have as many practical options as you might think. That’s for another post.
Thats true.
Now, about “women aren’t as hit on as you might think. They don’t have as many practical options as you might think”, thats a surprising statement to me. Cause I always assumed women are hit on all the time for most men. Im looking foward for you post on that.
At least in “The West” men are not encouraged or even taught how to speak with women.
They are believers in “The Cult of the Woman”. Women are all goddesses, and you should thank your lucky stars they deem to speak to a worm such as you.
The PUA would say “hitting on” women is low value. It is like you want something from them. They should be hitting on you, the man. You are the one who can actually think, do things, and make plans. She is basically just luggage, the showing.
TruthSeekers knows this himself. “Hitting on” women is like begging and scraping before the king. Doesn’t work these days.
Can’t wait for the article😊
Hello everybody,
I have a question you guys can maybe help me. English is not my first language but I’ll give my best.
Please guys tell me if what happens to me is normal.
Ive noticed that whenever Im in a place where there are women, especially at my job or in the subway or inside a bus, I start to act as if they would find me such a good looking guy and, judging by my peripheral vision, i have the impression that they could be staring at me. But im too shy to check if they are really looking at me.
Then i feel nerves and try to make poses as if i were a movie star and they were looking at me.
But sometimes i take the courage to look at them in order to check if they are looking at me. And 100% of the time they’re not. They are not even aware of my existence. Then i feel silly for feeling so nerves and uncomfortable in a situation that wasn’t even real.
I work in an office where most people are male or old women. But from time to time some young lady start to work with us.
But it bothers me that, even though i know i have zero chance with these women. I end up always acting in the same way. That is, thinking that she could, for some miracle, be staring at me and somehow she would approach me as if wanting to get to know me.
But I know it could never happen. Cause there’s zero reasons for a women to get interested in me like that. Cause im not good looking, i dont dress well, dont have an important job and make little money.
But even then i cant stop acting like i were somehow a valuable man in their eyes. So i worry with an image I don’t have. For they actually couldn’t care less for me.
Is it normal? Do you guys experience this kind of thing to some degree?
I should not care in trying to give a “good” impression to women who dont even notice my presence. Why do I do that? Is that a shy man thing?
Hello man,
I did that same thing for many years.
I would say we do that because deep inside us, we feel
that someday, someone (a hot chick) could take her attention
towards us… so that’s why you subsconciously act like that,
you feel nervous and subsconciously act like a top-tier man.
You feel nervous because you don’t want to pass the chance
of getting to know a girl that actually likes you.
First, you have to purchase the books from these website. You
will understand women nature and comprehend that average men
(you and me) are fucked up, no matter what we do. We mostly
depend on luck.
Second, when a woman has liked me or did fall in love with me, I was
just myself. I mean, without acting, without posing like a movie actor,
without feeling nervous… It just happened. I’m not saying that acting and
lying is not going to secure you a woman. I know a lot of couples were
the man lied about his job, status, lifestyle, etc and even when the girl
knew the truth she didn’t left him that fast and even married him.
Third, there’s 1% possiblities that a “same league than you or higher” girl
actually likes your presence and can’t stop looking at you. For that to
happen you have to be a top-looks man (6+ feet good looking male or
a celebrity). To increase that percentage some men migrate to countries
where (european average male are considered semi-gods, like China, Japan,
south-america, etc). In those countries you would see that girls are actually
looking at you and suggesting to chat up with their grimace.
In conclusion, when you become a little bit older, you become more
pessimistic about girls and you would not care that much when you
encounter a hot girl near you (in the bus, workplace, etc). You would
just dont have more dreams.
In my case, I even dislike the girls that I encounter in my day to day
routine. I think “this bitch is an average girl and she would laugh at me
if I try to flrit with her; but then dreams about marring a hot dude that would
never take care of her… what a stupid whore. If only she was smarter and
understand that a same level person of her opposite gender (me) would
marry her and make a solid family project together…”
So I only think that she has a nice body to slay but dont get anymore nervous
about her presence because I have accepted I have no chance, even if
she is average.
Saludos amigo
What you are feeling is very natural. No matter what status we have, or how good we look we always want to believe or at certain times behave like we are something special, if there was no such driving force to do anything then maybe a mankind wouldn’t exist. But also don’t tease yourself all the time thinking that maybe girls are looking to you and if you have these thoughts negated or if they lurk around in your mind it’s just hard.
So for me it looks like you definitely would like to be noticed and appreciated, well you can definitely improve yourself a little, do small incremental changes to yourself even if you don’t have lots of money, like buy fewer but better clothes, go to the gym, really being attractive is not just having abundance of money, although it always helps, but I have known a lot of attractive men working regular jobs, they always take care of their bodies, they always smell nice, they dress well too. Attraction is both simple and complicated at times, once you meet certain criteria for women they like you no matter what, and hardly anyone can take that from you, basically those guys have to be very lazy to be dislikable, and yeah there is opposite side of coin that for some men its very hard to even get to that attractive enough level no matter what they do, mostly it’s inability to communicate well, mannerism, being very short, unsure and such.
Not all things can be changed, but fix the things you can change, the best advice I can give is to invest in yourself, there are no guaranties in this life but I believe you must do something to improve yourself so you feel better overall.
Hello, I am Angel from Spain, and I wanted to thank you for your good work in reference to the world of fitness and on equally important matters. Seeing the number of visits your articles have, I feel the need to tell you that in Spanish there are hundreds of thousands of people who listen to your articles through a YouTube channel, which narrates the writings with a rather elegant robotic voice. The channel in Spanish is called “The Truth About Fitness” and since I see that you do not have a YouTube channel, I think you will be pleased to know that your research has helped and continues to help many people. I hope this news doesn’t surprise you since it has been open for 7 years (said channel) and I would be proud that the truth is spread by whoever it was, and better in another country and a different language. Very grateful for everything and a big greeting.
Love the post.
If I could be constructive here; I just seems that part of the problem is that you’re coming across a little bit salty.
Great article, agreed completely. I especially like this point:
“Men often suffer from infatuation. You start communicating with a woman and immediately create an idealistic image out of her even though she isn’t even close to the person you’re building in your head.”
I am going through this right now. I do a fitness class a few times a week with someone who is very physically beautiful and strong. I’ve known her for a little while but haven’t had the chance to even make small talk just due to the nature of the class (people are very friendly but generally do not stay to chat much). So I don’t have a feel for her personality at all, just her looks. Yet I’m developing feelings for her based on an ideal version rather than who she actually is. It’s frustrating to say the least.
I’m so confused, considering all the crap i had to go through with women without getting nothing out of it… i just don’t want anything from them, i mean I still crave intimacy sometimes but on the other side i don’t do anything to “win” that cause i’m scared, Just the idea of going through this bullshit is repulsive to me.. I mean, is it really worth it when you have to prove “something” all the time? When you can’t even be yourself? That doesn’t sound like freedom to me, if I can’t get the real thing without being who I really am, then screw it, I’m not interested in games.