source:pixabay.com
I promised to make a post about this to a reader, so I will.
Below are mainstream statements in regard to the so-called nice guys (it’s all lies, but I have to post the definitions).
1. Nice guys are manipulative
Some people say that women deflect nice guys because nice guys are pretending to be something they are not “only to get in her pants”.
2. Nice guys are not really nice because they get angry and call women names after a rejection
There are plenty of screenshots exposing nice guys getting angry over text after receiving the “I’m just not feeling it.” rejection line.
The idea is this. Women sense that a nice guy is not “authentic” and automatically go for the bad boy who should theoretically be the opposite and therefore authentic.
All of the above is nothing more than FALSE BELIEFS men have been fed for years.
Allow me to explain.
First, the vast majority of nice guys are actually nice and not pretending. (It’s quite difficult to fake something like that.)
Many of them are guys raised in fatherless homes and taught to over-respect women. The younger the nice guy is, the more likely he is to believe in lies such as “true love”, “soulmates”, “be a gentleman”, “women are innocent”…etc.
The average nice guy tries to adhere to the social requirements pushed on him.
E.g., Paying for the date, being a gentleman, buying flowers…etc.
If you see a bouquet of flowers in a trash bin, it’s 99% certain that a nice guy or an ungrateful woman put it there.
Nice guys tend to be very idealistic when it comes to dating and fall in love quickly (sometimes before they’ve even met the woman they’re allegedly adoring already).
They are not faking those feelings. They come naturally to them.
The nice guy goes on a date and has what seems to be a wonderful time. The woman is smiling and having fun. Both are making jokes and appear to be in love from the outside.
Over the following days, the nice guy asks the woman out again. “I had a wonderful time, Becky. I’d be happy to meet you again.”
Becky leaves him on seen/delivered for days and eventually comes up with the generic: “I just didn’t feel any energy there.” response.
Mr. Nice Guy feels his chest sinking. After a brief moment, rage takes over, and he directly calls Becky a liar if not more.
That reaction DOES NOT make the nice guy a fake nice guy.
It’s simply a defense mechanism. The nice guy feels cheated of his time, energy, emotions and money (if he’d paid for the date.)
His being is saying: “They took something from us for nothing. They lied to us.”
That’s 100% natural, and it would be weird if you didn’t feel anything.
Imagine the following situation. You go to the store. You ask for a set of headphones. The seller gives them to you for a test. You like their sound. You ask for the price. It’s acceptable. You want to buy them.
You go to the register, take out your money, and then the seller says: “Sorry, sir. We can’t sell you those headphones because….the purchase doesn’t feel right.”
Anyone would feel cheated. Expressing that emotion would make you an ANGRY nice guy rather than a FAKE nice guy.
Not expressing anger would make you a CALM/NUMB nice guy rather than a “rear real nice guy.”
What’s really happening here?
The whole point of shaming nice guys is this: women don’t want to deal with angry men. They want to play their game unhindered and would be happy if the guys who get rejected keep their emotions to themselves while they continue to seek the mythical alpha “Chad”.
That’s literally it.
Angry nice guys are shamed not because they are not nice guys inherently, but because they raise their voices.
That’s literally it.
Women don’t want to be held accountable for leading nice guys on and thus say that niceness does not entitle a man to anything.
Correct. It doesn’t. However, the nice guy doesn’t feel entitled. He is angry because the said woman has expressed undeniable interest in him and is suddenly withdrawing it. It’s that withdrawal that triggers the emotional response.
I had the following story this year. Went on date. Had a nice time. The woman seemed really into me. She said: “That’s one of my best first dates.” (implying that there will be more).
In the end, we kissed, and she whispered: “Write me, soon.”. The end. I wrote her after 24 hours. She never replied.
In my “nice guy” days, I would have told her: “Eat s*”, but at that point in my life, I was already numb and didn’t respond at all.
So, this woman was a huge liar that wanted attention. I don’t think anyone would feel nice in my shoes. Honestly, I felt disgusted but didn’t react not because I was super nice. I was simply tired.
The only person in stories like this who isn’t nice is the woman. She is manipulating the guy and stealing his attention, emotional energy and a bit of money. She is pretending that she is “interested” only to get what she wants from that person at that moment.
Or in other words, it’s precisely women who are “fake nice” in a manipulative fashion.
The men who try to fake being nice are not nice by default. If you have to fake it, then you aren’t it, are you?
So, the vast majority of men (it’s a very slim group) who actually offer fake niceness are bad boys exploring a new strategy. That’s it.
The classic example is the bad boy who pretends that he is in love with a woman only to leave her after sleeping with her.
That’s the actual fake nice guy. Not the naïve dude sitting alone on a bench with a bouquet of flowers in his hands.
“It’s not racism when we do it.”
When women are put in the position of the nice guys who receive the rejection, they get absolutely vicious and write the nastiest things ever.
E.g., “I hope your daughter is born a lesbian and dies of cancer.” (I’ve literally read that.)
But when they play the role of the deceiver, suddenly “it’s not racism” because they’re doing it.
You get it.
So, why don’t women like nice guys?
First, women do like nice guys when those men are super attractive. It’s pretty clear that Brad Pitt will have girlfriends even if he acts in the most beta way imaginable simply for his looks.
However, most men are not 9s and 10s. By definition, the vast majority of men are average or below. When you’re in that category, you can’t get away with all kinds of behavior.
The reason why women go for bad boys/scumbags is the same reason why people prefer to eat junk food over quality food.
- It’s tastier and addictive due to the constant secretion of dopamine
- It plays the role of the forbidden fruit
- It adds excitement/adventure to an otherwise blatant lifestyle (work-metro-sleep)
The nice guys, on the other hand, are water, broccoli, and chicken. They won’t make you fat (cheat on you) and will keep you healthier, but they are simply “boring” (lack taste).
People want “flavor” even if it’s bad for them and turn to good nutrition only when fat or ill. This is the equivalent of women running back to the nice guys when no longer desired by the bad boys.
Some people will say that women like bad boys because those men encompass ultra-manly qualities that simply come with some “side effects” (e.g., occasional slaps to the face).
This may be true in some cases, but my observation has unequivocally shown that women like narcissistic bad boys and all kinds of broken men even when those mythical manly qualities aren’t present.
You will not read this in mainstream sources because people are afraid to say it.
Women simply like assholes and there’s that. Many people will try to find a rational explanation, but that’s simply an attempt to justify bad choices.
I’ve seen women reject men who love them to death for complete losers in life.
To me, this is the equivalent of a man choosing a doughnut infested will all kinds of chemicals over a steak.
We do it because it’s easier to sin and do the wrong thing than it is to do the right.
Women Only Care About How a Guy Makes Them Feel
Another important notion that men need to know is that women care mostly about how the guy makes them feel. This is literally what they call “chemistry.”
This is crucial to know.
You can have a great conversation (as in my cases) with a woman thanks to your sense of humor and high IQ, and yet later she could still reject you harshly because you didn’t make her feel “right”.
Not because you’re fake nice, stupid, or whatever, but simply because you didn’t trigger her emotionally.
This is the equivalent of judging food only by taste without carrying about its nutritional quality.
If people judge food only by taste, we will only eat garbage, get sick and die faster than necessary while suffering more physical illness.
This is exactly what women are doing when they reject the nice guy and go for the so-called bad boy/real man who treats them like dirt.
They choose chocolate over real food for the taste and pay the consequences.
I repeat. Women only care about how you make them feel.
The same applies to looks (and money).
Why are women willing to do anything for a hot guy who may very well be a sociopath drug dealer? Because his facial and bodily features make them feel RIGHT.
Remember: Nothing triggers the same kind of emotions as looks. Nothing.
Why do women go for rich fat guys? Because the money makes them feel RIGHT about their future.
If you don’t make a woman feel “right” (a.k.a. you aren’t the doughnut), your education, hobbies, IQ…etc. don’t matter.
A woman would literally push away a Ph.D. dude to be in the hands of a brute with a paid high-school diploma who beats her occasionally because the latter makes her feel right.
For that reason (choice by feel), fathers used to exercise a huge role in who a woman would marry because societies were smart enough to realize that if women are allowed to 100% decide everything, they will always go for doughnuts first and broccoli later….or never.
So, how does a nice guy make a woman feel?
He is essentially water. He is healthy but plain. He is faithful but also boring.
The bad boy is a sugary drink. It feels nice in the short term and gives you lots of energy but makes you sick in the future. He also comes in many flavors. All of them are shit, but all of them trigger a strong emotional response.
hahahaha, and this ladies and gentleman is the answer you all have been looking for:
– It’s tastier and addictive due to the constant secretion of dopamine
– It plays the role of the forbidden fruit
– It adds excitement/adventure to an otherwise blatant lifestyle (work-metro-sleep)
i think this is spot on, so accurate, good job
a negative looking “gangster” that gives bad vibes to a girl causes some form of scarryness which makes them think he is like that to everyone and he becomes interesting to them and a type they will see as a leader because he looks more dominant than them.
attraction based on type (phenotype) does need to be there however, this is something genetic. you cant flick something like this to someone you’re totally not attracted to. (attraction comes from both ways, its genetic im guessing)
its so true but in the end bullshit, at a certain point you will need to show the world what you as a human being truly are, being negative and forcing yourself to be a low-IQ so you can look cool will hurt your body from all the negativity
Excellent post! Keep writing ✍️!
“niceness does not entitle a man to anything.
Correct. It doesn’t. However, the nice guy doesn’t feel entitled.”
Sorry, I have to disagree. Many men think if they’re “nice” that they are owed something in return. (I mean, isn’t that the whole basis of the incel movement?)
I’m sure you’ve seen that feminist meme: Women aren’t slot machines where you put niceness into and sex comes out.
Followed by: being nice to someone because you’re looking for something in return isn’t being nice, it’s a business transaction.
And you know what? Men do it with other men as well
In 99.9% of the cases, the nice guy feels bad not because he thinks he is owned something for his niceness but because the woman showed real interest and then ghosted him.
It’s that simple.
It’s all in the article.
Can you write an article about how to keep a healthy relationship with a woman? It’s almost impossible mission to have a healthy relationship these days, I know, but, I would like to see your opinion.
What to do, when to do, how to pass the shit tests etc.
Thank you!
The girl on your date specifically whispered that she wanted to hear from you soon, and you waited after 24 hours to message her?! Are you kidding me? What a joke. That obviously wasn’t soon enough, especially if the date was amazing as you mentioned. You being MIA for more than a day is disrespectful, and shows disinterested. You were probably playing a game when in your heart you wanted to write her sooner. You were not authentic unfortunately; you were being fake.
I stopped chasing pussy after I graduated from university now I am focused on Business. Mentally I feel better because a Business rewards you with something at the end of the day whereas a woman is hormonally imbalanced her mood dictates the outcome she wants that feel-good factor all the time.
I agree. And it’s not just business. Anything you do will have a direct effort to outcome correlation. Chasing women is a poor return on your investment.
Hey, Truth seeker!
I have a offtopic question, What is your opinion on “Stomach vacuums” exercise?
Thank you for exposing the fitness industry.
You should watch sv3rige aka goatis on YouTube.
He said exercise is bad for your body, going to gym and training will age you faster, exercise is for slaves. Woman dont like six pack and gym body.
I dont go to gym and i don’t exercise anymore, i cured my inflammation fast when i stopped going to gym.
I disagree.
The body is designed to be used. Exercise is not bad for you and doesn’t age you. It’s not for slaves.
Women like six pack abs and gym bodies, but to them, it’s more important how a man makes them feel.
No woman will reject a fit man unless she is out of shape herself and thus insecure.
I recommend you to watch this 3 videos until the end. I disagree with you.
Please check:
https://youtu.be/xGr2Keh_fxY
https://youtu.be/1b0PRLp_AqU
https://youtu.be/VLCXvB8AM7U
Excessive exercise is not good for you. Obviously.
But otherwise exercising is great for strength and mobility alone.
It also clears your head.
IF you have a very physical job, however, (cutting trees with an axe), you can of course skip most of it.
If, however, you’re are an office slave of some sort, you will greatly benefit from exercising.
Pretty clever analogy with the food! I have never thought about it that way, it’s perfect. Enjoyed the article.
Great article man. What’s the solution?
lol this guy
Why Andrew Tate is such a loser:
https://youtu.be/_aezk4RFEss
This guy nailed him at 17:50
Tate pretends to be anti-matrix, but I’m pretty sure he’s an intelligence asset. Nobody blows up that quickly overnight organically. The matrix pushed him up the algorithms in order to make him a controlled opposition leader. Tate said publicly that his father is from CIA.
Also women never cared about him and never will because he looks like a squirrel. No car will ever change that. I would imagine that only desperate women would go anywhere near him. His whole being I find threatening and wouldn’t go anywhere near that man.
In my experience women don’t dislike the so called nice guys. That’s not fair. They just don’t find them attractive sexually. Which is understandable in a way, because these guys
Don’t give the vibe of being dominant masculine men. And sometimes their vibe comes across as sleazy and obsequious, irrespective of why. And masculine men are not assholes necessarily. They are often kind as opposed to nice. But they do know how to behave around women and they do know how to enforce boundaries on women’s behaviors. All of which make them attractive.
How about this?
It’s about time men stop caring about what women like.
I gree with you, but is hard to stop caring about what women likes. 🙁 Damn reproductive system!
I’d tweak something though.
It’s not actually “easier” to do the wrong thing, on balance. It’s only easier in the short term, and sometimes not even then, sometimes you only think it’s easier.
The key is on balance or on the whole. It’s the difference between earning money and borrowing it, earning it is “harder”, but borrowing is always more expensive and eventually you have to work harder to pay it back plus the interest. Or if you fail to pay it back, no one will lend to you anymore, you have to earn and you’re back where you started plus worse.
This isn’t a perfect analogy, but on balance when you choose the wrong thing you don’t just get the good stuff, all kinds of bad stuff comes along for the ride. That’s why guilt is actually pretty valuable, it’s a basic intuitive sense that something just cost you more than you got in return. Whereas people very seldom regret doing the right thing for the right reasons.
We’re all still human and things fail but on balance your well being increases with good actions, good thoughts, cultivating positive desires, and your well being decreases going the other way.
Think about it, doesn’t someone given over to this stuff usually seem miserable?
Well…I think that many of us probably lack a strong father figure that showed us how to treat women and how to get them interested.Fathers are extremely important for the development of an individual. Women want a confident and strong man that’s it, but not an asshole. That’s just how nature works.
Brocoli is an extremely toxic man made vegetable
Good article. Two points in my experience:
1. A selfish woman (i.e. most of them) see nice guys as being weak and therefore poor mating material (which is what drives them even if they say they do not want kids). This is significant, the natural order is women are competing to get the best quality sperm – it doesn’t matter where it comes from. nice guy sperm is weak sperm. Why mate with a nice guy when they can mate with a guy who would genetically be top dog in a cave man world?
2. Really attractive women (the 9s and 10s), expecially,. know they’re worth and don’t want a man they think they will have difficulty dumping (i.e. a nice guy). Just because they are good looking doesn’t mean they are clever: they know they have to try a potential mate out before committing to a long term relationship leading to kids. They have to therefore dump 99% of their boyfriends. In my 20s, I had a really beautiful woman (easily a 10) ask me out on a date. Never happened before or since. I was in a bar, didnt even talk to her, and she just gave me her number. She was a stunner. Went on the date next day. Turned out her previous boyfriend had committed suicide becuase she had dumped him! He was clearly a ‘nice guy’. Needless to say I never saw her again.
Honestly, this sounds like a bunch of waffle from an incel forum.
Women are attracted to strong, confident men. That’s it. That’s all.
If you’re not strong and confident yourself, you might mistake those men for “bad boys” or assholes. They’re usually not. And the women are usually not manipulative or mean either. It just is what it is.
Interesting read. Sounds similar to what I read online and was told by real life friends… Plus I also had similar experiences myself, but there’s one thing that changed everything and it is God. I keep telling my single friends with a dark history with women, that the solution is right there. They should find God, and God will find them a spouse in due time. It worked for me.
Care to share the entire story?
Sure, although maybe the entire one is a bit too long for a comment, and much of the story isn’t about women, so perhaps it will be a bit too of a boring read. I’ll do my best to keep it short but exhaustive.
I was an agnostic leaning towards atheism due to my upbringing, but like some people I still sought guidance in life and found it in ideologies. I was far left then far right in my adolescence and remained the latter until my mid 20s. Then something changed. I was frustrated with the endless fight for the truth. Ideologically and philosophical debates can be extremely pointless especially against mainstream currents. So, I knew this perennialist “schizo” online. He shared all of my conspiracies but was into religion as well. He thought truth had to be outside of this world. Eventually he convinced me to try out hinduism or Christianity. He thought they were really the same if “used correctly”. I got two sacred texts from each. In the case of Christianity I got the New Testament. I read that one first and quickly noticed some changes in my life. I accepted Christ as Lord and God and found His Church, eventually (it took about 1 year and a half of discernment I think).
Now what do women have to do with this? I had been in a relationship for years when I started converting. After I became a Christian, the minor problems I had with my girlfriend escalated, and some others appeared. She eventually abandoned me with the excuse that she found a job in another city, where her family lived. But she didn’t break up with me immediately. I found myself living alone in a shirty apartment and travelling to her parents’ to see her a couple times a month. Eventually it all fell apart, she broke up with me and my journey of sorrow that’d begun with her leaving had finally reached its peak… God sustained me in such moments. He was the only one giving me the strength to overcome the pain and crippling anxiety. I had spent over 8 years with that person… It’s a huge time.
Given that before this breakup I had also suffered another two, one particularly intense (2 years of relationship) at that point my trust in women was exceedingly low. But wait, I had Christ, and perhaps someone with my same love for Christ could exist. What if I found someone loyal and looking for the humble “nice guy”?
About 1 year later, having recovered, I started looking for a godly woman and I found one, eventually. We have dated for 1 year and a half now and will marry in spring next year. My trust in women in general hasn’t really changed and she knows all my past and why I feel like this, but my insecurity is gone and I found my “home”.
Hope that helps.
By the way, I’ve read your articles about the individual natties for a while now, and only yesterday I noticed how much more your website offers. I’m thinking about buying a couple of your books. Cheers!