I remember the day we met. You were crushed by deep pain.
You were crying because your muscles were not getting bigger.
When I saw you, I promised myself that I will find a cure for your (our) pain.
Today is that day.
The antidote is here.
Your illness will soon be history.
You are NOT dreaming anymore! This time it’s truly happening.
It’s not an illusion, it’s the real-deal.
From now on, I only want to see tears of joy.
Relax and enjoy the moment.
You’ve earned it.
After a decade of head-breaking research [reading muscle forums until dawn], injuries, hysteria in the bathroom, biceps measuring, gut measuring, leg measuring, religious meal preparation, family induced frustration and processing protein powder in industrial quantities, I can tell you for certain that I have found the U-L-T-I-M-A-T-E supplement for natural bodybuilders.
just like you, I’ve tried everything to get bigger – short reps, long reps, cluster sets, monkey sets, giant sets, partial sets, Godzilla sets, King Kong sets, T-rex sets, 20-rep squat routines, pump routines, anti-pump routines, mega pump routines, ”real men” routines, 5×5, 4×5, 3×3, 2×5, 8×7, 5×12…
I did it all, but despite my effort, nothing worked. I was getting smaller by the day even though I was never missing workouts. If the gym was open, I was there. [Holidays are for emo boys anyway.]
One day, I was hit by a revelation while waiting for the bus on a dirty bench tagged by hooligans.
I asked myself: ”What is the most effective supplement to get truly massive?”
Then a little voice inside my head told me:
”You know what? I think the number one reason why you fail is that you’re a total moron.”
What a mean little voice! I wanted to take a sledgehammer and hit it, but something stopped me – the little devil was actually correct. I was leading my bodybuilding journey as though I were missing half a brain.
The solution had been in front of me all along, but I was too busy chasing pipe dreams. This was the time when I finally found the greatest supplement for true natural bodybuilders.
Allow me to introduce the one and only:
Many natural bodybuilders fail because they have been relying on half their brain for way too long.
Half-Brain is here to fix this nonsense and give you sky-high gains.
When I added Half-Brain to my life as a natural builder, the amazing happened. My lifting numbers started going up even though I was actually training less frequently with less volume. Furthermore, my exercise form improved rapidly, and my joints started to love me more.
Tell me, please, have you ever heard of another supplement that makes you so amazingly strong while also having the properties of a joint support formula?
Creatine? Are you kidding me?
Protein powder? Are you kidding me?
BCAA? Do you even brain, bro?
Truth be told, even most steroids fail to do that.
We all know that anabolic cocktails increase your muscular strength, but the connective tissues of your joints cannot catch up with the rapid increase. [Not to mention the dangerous side effects!]
Sorry. Adding 40 kilograms to your bench press naturally in a week is the norm only on Mars and Krypton. Here, on Earth, most people do that with the help of synthetic muscle elixirs.
Somewhat ironically, those steroid warriors often end up writing ”advice for a heavily strained boob” in Google’s search box while holding a pair of bodybuilding thongs [color: shiny metallic] with their injured side. They believe that this ritual promotes faster healing. This happens more often than you think! The good news is that the supplement Half-Brain is one of the best ways to avoid similar problems.
I learned about the miraculous power of Half-Brain for the first time when I was only 17 years old although I have to admit that at the time I wasn’t quite able to understand the prodigy before my eyes. I am talking about the day I tried a breakdancing move called air-chair and almost destroyed my elbow in the process. The goal was to impress a girl with my body skills.
My left arm generated so much heat and hate towards me that powering a 4×4 mafia approved off-road truck with tinted windows would have been an easy task. My poor arm hurt for weeks, and I am still thankful that it didn’t snap in two that day.
This was the moment when I started to think that there was something terribly wrong with my brain.
I was right!
I was only accessing ¼ of it.
One of the explanations for the lack of proper brain power was my age – I was simply way too young. Unfortunately, life does not sell you Half-Brain at that tender age. It’s not politically correct and approved by the system. Minors are not allowed to have a developed thought system. Therefore, I was unable to buy a pack of Half-Brains right away. I didn’t have the experience to afford it.
However, when I got older my life changed for the better. It did take me about 7-10 years to afford my fair share of Half-Brain, but eventually, I got it. At the beginning, I was naturally skeptical. I didn’t see any positive effects right away. My progress was slow, and I was on the verge of returning my copy of Half-Brain. I didn’t know that there is a painful adaptation period that everyone goes through.
Simply put, during the first days you experience the buyer’s remorse and begin wondering:
”Did I overpay for this?”
”Will Half-Brain help me achieve my goals?”
”Did I really need a full brain?”
You also start typing things like: ”how long to see results, Half-Brain acquired 4 hours ago” in search boxes. Don’t worry! That transition is normal and even desired. Your body and spirit cannot accept your new organ that easily. They start to feel unappreciated.
”Weren’t we happy before this overpriced moron joined the crew,” they ask.
The good news is that once the introductory phase is over, all organs adapt and wonder how they were living without Half-Brain before.
In addition, you will experience many attacks and frustration from the outside world when you start supplementing with Half-Brain. Family members will give you funny looks and question your sanity.
”Look at him. What is he doing? He is a complete idiot. He had half a brain already! Why would he buy one more,” they will be asking.
But if you want to succeed, you have to learn to deal with those losers. First, they laugh. Then, they begin making I-do-not-understand grimaces. In the end, they hate you because you are getting so much more than them while working less.
”How is this possible? I work 8 days a week. 25 hours a day, 456 days a year, and yet this guy is above my level? God, give me a sign, please! He doesn’t even take creatine! I don’t understand!”
Let those half a brain idiots burn, I say. They laughed at you during the adaptation phase. Now it’s your turn to enjoy their pain.
This part brings me to another positive side that comes with Half-Brain. When you add Half-Brain to your supplement stack, you no longer need to take things like BCAA, creatine (all kinds), fruity loops, Sugar Pee in a Waffle (popular pre-workout drink), Shark Testicles Joint Support Formula, Monkey Dick (improves muscle and joint flexibility)…etc.
Why? Because Half-Brain makes those substances obsolete. In fact, Half-Brain becomes even more effective when it is NOT used in conjunction with the aforementioned chemical production because when you supplement with Half-Brain it’s hard to keep the placebo effect going.
Having said that, Half-Brain has certain side effects that may not be appreciated by all muscle lovers. As soon as you start taking regular doses, you can longer enjoy some YouTube clips, and in particular, those uploaded by the so-called 5% percenters and other famous muscle based directors.
Once Half-Brain has been accepted by the body, you feel like you are wearing the glasses from the movie They Live. You begin seeing the truth wherever you look. It chases you everywhere. At the beginning, this experience will give you headaches like you never thought possible, but after a while it gets interesting.
You look at guys like Richardo Pianini and you don’t see big arms anymore. You see organic pipes storing oil.
You look at the Twins and you no longer see honest people giving advice. You see citizens of Pin City.
You look at your favorite muscle heroes and you no longer see heroes. You see train wrecks.
You look at the physique competitors and you no longer see something that can be achieved naturally. You see how Arnold would have looked in comparison to the modern muscle builders.
You read the anabolic diets and you laugh because you know that it’s all a dream in the form of tuna that will never come to fruition.
You can not help it but laugh when bodybuilders tell you that you need to do half reps and pump the muscle with blood to grow.
You look at the old bodybuilders who have a great physique for any age and you no longer see dedication. You see daddies on TRT doing skull crushers with light Wallmart approved dumbbells.
You listen to the female fitness models, but their butts no longer pop. The only thing you hear is that tranny voice.
You look at the big powerlifters and you longer see guys who ”have to be natural because they don’t lift faggot weights like the bodybuilders”. You now identify them as fatsos on steroids and wonder how hard it must be for their wives to pin those sweaty glutes every single day.
You look at the Ph.D. bodybuilders talking about protein synthesis + meal timing and laugh because you can now see that their only expertise is nonsense synthesis.
You look at the hypertrophy specialists and laugh some more because you can read their minds – they are worried about running low on Tren supplies.
You look at the former bodybuilders selling all kinds of supplements and cringe because you know that those guys are nothing but steroid junkies trying to capitalize their names with the help of powders.
Those are just a few of the side effects that come with the prolonged use of Half-Brain. It’s up to you to decide whether you want to go through the pain or not.
Be prepared – once you add Half-Brain to your regimen, you will never want to go back. Most people would rather kill themselves than return to their previous ½ brain state.
The choice is yours.
Ah, yes, one more thing. I almost forgot.
If you decide to follow through and buy Half-Brain, you have to know that while this is the best supplement for natural bodybuilders, it does not add a shocking amount of muscle mass to your frame. It will build you a little, but you will still have to deal with the question – Do You Even Lift, Bro? Don’t worry too much. It happens even to the best. The good news is that when you are on Half-Brain, you usually come up with a nice answer that shutdowns the insecure questioner and makes him feel bad for being an idiot.
Are you capable of dealing with those side effects? Do you think the sacrifice is worth it? If so, order Half-Brain today.
Now here are the tricky parts. First, Half-Brain is expensive. You can’t easily get your hands on legit pharma made Half-Brain. Many go to the second-hand stores, hoping to save some money, but there are so many knockoffs that people often end up dumber than before. Many gurus claim that they are selling real Half-Brain, but they are actually offering Infected-Brain.
The product may appear like the real thing, but it’s a potential virus. Infected-Brain acts as a Trojan horse that eats you from the inside out if you let it. As soon as you start using your newly acquired infected brain, it attempts to damage your pre-existing brain. If you don’t take the necessary measures, the infection will spread so deep that your healthy brain will become infected as well. You will go from half a brain to no brain. Scary, isn’t it?
The second problematic part is that there isn’t an authorized Half-Brain dealer on this Earth that I know of. Some claim to have access to the original one (the Creator), but more often than not it’s wishful thinking.
That’s why the best way to get your Half-Brain copy is to build it yourself by putting your current brain into a protective case while slowly adding cells of truth to it after they have passed through a filter known as personal judgment.
Now you have it, baby. The best supplement for natural bodybuilders.
There is no reason to cry anymore. Enjoy.
Hahahahaaaaaa, man you are on to something 😉
I am sure there will be a lot of folks and their minions who will be pissed seeing your article.
Jesus Christ (1/3rd the “Creator”), not Tyler, the Creator; may I compliment you sir on being a super scribe!
You erudite Half-Brain. How about moving to up to 5/8th-Brain? Don’t leave us in suspense!
O Yes! A NattyorNot special for The Twins. Don’t pretend you don’t know the ones.
Humour is as rare as a “Natty”. Hen’s teeth on the other hand…
Natty Bodybuilding. Contradiction, paradox or oxymoron?
Best regards on your perilous mirthful mission!
Hahaha this was awesome, I wish you’d post more often man.
This guy is a fecking moron if your fit your fit that has nothing to do with your body fat percentage. If you Can run a mile under 10 minutes and your squat deadlift and bench press are all North of 250 your doing pretty good. I would love to see this guy’s picture but I could not even find one I’m 5’9 and 230 and for being as he/she calls fat I would break him down bone by bone all natural brah.
Awesome post. Keep at it !!
Some will never realize they need halfbrain, they live with Alice in wonderland.