This is another story about a co-worker of mine. The guy was a metrosexual semi-delusional natural bodybuilder born with the wild spirit of a skirt chaser. Thanks to him I had an opportunity to gather insight into the brain mechanisms of those who lift primarily to increase their reproduction skills. He was always serving religiously […]
Two years ago, I had the displeasure of working with an advanced level CrossFit bitch. The experience taught me a lot about both – bitches and CrossFit. First, what’s a CrossFit bitch? A CrossFit bitch is a female specimen sharing all characteristics of a total bitch while also doing CrossFit training multiple times a week. […]
The bought media promote Photoshop enhanced images of old bodybuilders who “look better than a 20-year-old”. Nice try, but try harder next time. You can’t fool me. I know how the trick works. Obviously, I am not talking about the mainstream explanation which is usually something extremely delusional (e.g., “I take protein powder mixed in […]
For many years six pack abs have been a major symbol of the fitness industry. The human society has been convinced that having perfectly ripped abs reveals physical excellence and loads of sex appeal. There are two main reasons why ripped abs look so fascinating to the general public. First, visible abdominal muscles represent a much […]
When people discuss the current Mr. Olympia, Phil Heath, I don’t think about training, muscles or aesthetics. All that comes to my mind are his juvenile posts on Instagram praising Gucci garbage and custom sneakers made for clowns. This thinking often leads me to a critical question – how does bodybuilding fit into the modern […]
Have you ever heard of planned self-damage? It’s simple – instead of lying to yourself that you will eat clean forever, you plan your fails carefully to avoid a more severe crisis. The following story happened precisely because of this principle. It was early evening. The rest of the slaves were also happy that the […]
I did my first chin-up at 15. My gym teacher, better known as Conan the Barbarian, was a crazy bitch with wild clotted hair that made all boys chin and dip that day. One could only wonder what had happened to her the night before. I got one chin-up repetition with the help of every […]
Dedicated to the guy who sent me 29 messages entitled “How much do you squat, moron?” I was sitting at my desk, eating acne inducing food when suddenly something in me broke, and I gave up all resistance. “This is it. I am going to the gym. I want to get big.” “This is it. […]
Life is a walk through the valley of traps. Everywhere you go, there are pitfalls ready to swallow you. The motto of this world is fairly simple – buy, consume, stay in debt, reproduce and teach your children to do the same thing. Of course, this does not mean that living in a wood cabin […]
On my way to the bus station I passed by a toilet shop with a huge window and did what many victims of the lifting game do – I started scanning my reflection for abnormal muscle development. I had to keep the scan short because people working in the store started looking at me as […]
Once I started this journey, I was immediately trapped in the net of the industry like a complete tool. Eventually, I understood that the majority of the info out there is half-dirty. There are some good ideas, but about 50% of the stuff is crooked for various reasons. That’s how I came up with the […]
On my way to the gym today, I decided to double fuck the industry and bought a large beer can to drink from during my sinful yet epic leg press session. Normally, I prefer pirate rum, but it’s expensive and comes in large bottles. Besides, I didn’t want to get kicked out of the gym […]