I was in the metro. A man with neanderthal facial features who appeared to be a recovering bulking victim was next to me. His face was buried in a 7-inch smartphone. I don’t know what he was reading, but it appeared to be terribly important because the guy was in a deep trance. In front […]
I went to the gym before most people finish slavery, excuse me, work. The barbell den was empty but not for long. At six o’clock a horde of tank top samurais entered the premises. One of them was a metrosexual captain upper body – shaved, big arms, skinny legs, hysterical tattoos, a funny haircut. He […]
I’ve had many breaks from training due to low motivation. The first major episode took place when I got sick of the squat or die mentality installed deep into my brain. However, a few months passed and the accumulation of barbell nostalgia made me want to train again. Yet when I set my foot on […]
Instagram’s fitness motivation department has been steadily gaining serious market share. The enormous amount of Photoshopped butts, biceps, abs, breasts and other body parts floating in the cyberspace prove this every day. It’s hard to look for something training related online without stumbling upon a couple of “how bad do you want it” type of […]
A long time ago I watched an episode of the TV series The Mentalist. There was a short dialogue between an FBI agent and a potential witness of a crime that got my attention. Here it is: Agent Kimball Cho, FBI: I understand you were working security here last night. You mind answering a few […]
Without steroids, sports like powerlifting, bodybuilding and Olympic weightlifting won’t be what they are today. If the muscle elixirs are cut from the equation, the records will drop to incredibly low levels. I don’t care what they say about genetics, it’s the truth. If the so-called natural bodybuilders today were really natural, they could easily […]
This story took place a long time ago when I was still a naive rookie eager to discover the mystery of muscle construction. Summertime was just beginning, and I had a 2-month break from school ahead of me. Sounds good, but it wasn’t. I was at that age when the summer is more of a […]
Today was no different. I started the computer and launched YouTube only to see another permabulker suffering from an inflated ego trying to convince me that squatting is as complex as a heart transplant. “You have to keep your back as tight as possible when you squat,” said Mr. PermaBulk. Thanks, man. Nice tip. Until […]
The headache was strong and persistent. There was a little voice inside of me constantly repeating the phrase “Disregard all. Acquire muscles”. I tried to make it go away, but it kept on coming like a boomerang. This time it was serious. You can postpone things only so much. Eventually, the denial and rejections accumulate […]
To make money you need a crowd, preferably a big and dumb one. If that’s not covered, the bank manager will not be smiling. Have you seen the people who do magic tricks and dance on the street? Their business plan is simple – higher traffic = more potential revenue. The same is true for […]
The number of crazy things that I have seen in this muscle game can cause serious brain damage and lower your IQ really fast. If there was therapy for that, I would probably pay to get it off my chest. Luckily, I can get away with it for free by just sharing some of this […]
This is an interview with a part of me that wanted to get bigger muscles. The interviewer is another part of me that works as a part-time shrink. Why do you want big muscles? Don’t know. I mean I know, but these days don’t know is a synonym for I don’t want to tell you, […]