I received an e-mail asking this question and decided to make a small post out of it rather than a long e-mail answer.
The strategy below is designed to reduce the number of flaky women that you deal with. As always, results will vary.
FAQ: What’s a flaky person?
A flaky person is someone whose actions and words don’t coincide. He/she declares a clear intention but then never delivers.
When it comes to dating, flaky behavior includes the following:
- Never coming to the date
- Postponing/Cancelling the date
- Unexpectedly disappearing after a few dates (a.k.a. ghosting)
How To Reduce The Number of Flaky Women That You Meet
Step 1: Understanding Pre-determinism
First, it’s important to fully comprehend that the trajectory of an interaction is close to 100% pre-determined as soon as it begins.
Or in other words, as soon as you start talking to a woman, it’s already decided whether she will go out with you or not. Your job is not to change the trajectory, but to unveil it and set a date or move on.
The outcome is determined by:
- Who you are
- Who she is
- The context
Step 2: The Five Texts Rule
My experience has unequivocally confirmed that there is zero positive correlation between long texting and a positive outcome.
In fact, I’ve noticed that the longer the conversation is, the less likely it is to experience a tangible benefit in the offline world (a date at the very minimum).
I’ve been in situations when a woman would constantly text me but would keep rejecting my offer to meet.
If a woman needs long texting to go out with you, one of the following applies:
a. She is heavily hesitating and wants you to either slip up and disqualify yourself or prove to her that you’re far greater than she thinks you’re.
If you are in that situation, your efforts are very likely to be futile no matter what. It will be wiser to bounce.
b. She is not in the mood to meet anyone regardless of who he is.
In that case, it’s rational to abandon the said woman because nothing of value will come out of the interaction.
Eventually, she will get bored of the texting romance and ghost you. You may even “warm her” for someone else. In all cases, it’s healthier to move on.
So, what’s the five texts rule?
The five texts rule is – ask her out in five texts.
The five lines should contain info about you and demand the same info from her. Below is an example:
Line 1: Hello. My name is Truth Seeker. Nice to meet you. (introduction)
Line 2: I’m X old. How old are you? (I skip this question if I already know how old she is).
Line 3: I work as a carpenter. How about you? (occupation)
Line 4: Do you like any sports? I ride bicycles (leisure time activities)
Line 5: Do you wanna meet on Friday? (date offer – many different formats can be used)
THE MOST IMPORTANT LINE
The most important line is always the one asking her out.
Many people overthink the formulation. Some say that generic offers such as: “Do you wanna go out?” without a specific timeline are lame. While others consider a super-specific question “pushy”.
I don’t think it matters. This is the most important line not because of its formulation but because it’s a call to action.
Her response will reveal how she really feels about you.
Here’s how to interpret the possible responses.
1. I would like to, but my boyfriend wouldn’t be happy about it.
I’ve been in many situations when I would talk to a woman only to receive the boyfriend line as soon as I ask her out.
Women truly love to string you along only to drop the boyfriend response on you. (Another reason to keep the conversation short.)
Some red pill brahs will tell you that this is a “shit test.” It may or may not be.
In all cases, I bounce because a woman that is willing to play similar games is very likely to be a flaky person.
I insta-block her and move on. (I will explain later why.)
2. A firm “no” (or a variation of it)
My reaction – insta-block.
3. Yes, but I have exams this month. Maybe in December. (It’s October)
My reaction – insta-block. Why? Because women change their minds all the time. Three weeks from now she may already be too cold for you.
Also, women lie. One time I was talking to a woman that gave me the exams response. Guess, what? A few days later, I saw her on a date with another guy.
If a date is postponed for an unknown moment, bounce.
4. Yes, but I am busy this week. How about next week?
That’s a nice response. If you receive it, proceed to schedule a date.
Maybe = leaning towards no.
To speed up the process and measure her interest, I proceed to offer a specific date, time and place.
After receiving her response, I make another evaluation.
If her response is vague, I insta-block her with no mercy.
6. Yes. Why not?
Proceed to scheduling a date.
Testing Her Interest
Ultimately, to avoid flaky women, you need to screen out those who have a higher than average interest in you.
You don’t want to waste your time with women who are 50/50 about you. This is the whole point of this exercise. A woman needs to be at least 60/40 in favor of meeting you.
You’re not changing anyone’s mind. You’re simply testing their interest and acting accordingly.
A woman that is lukewarm about you is more likely to get cold than hot. (Murphy’s law in a dating format).
Thus, lukewarm women are the biggest time-wasters. It’s better to receive a firm no (coldness) or yes (warmth) than to spend your time convincing someone to meet you.
A woman that needs 50 paragraphs, 5 phone calls and 150 selfies of convincing is very likely to either never meet you or to come to the date acting entitled as if you’re beneath her.
Why I insta-block women
My experience has confirmed that a woman would change her mind about you only when:
- You become many times more attractive.
- You become rich and famous.
- She gets old and can’t find anyone better.
- She needs something from you for a brief period and wants to rent you.
To satisfy the first condition, you will have to improve significantly.
The blunt reality is that most of us will never experience this transformation. But even if we do, the process is long. By the time, you’re done, the woman in question won’t be available or of interest to you.
For that reason, I don’t see a practical reason to keep a lukewarm woman in my contacts.
Another benefit of insta-blocking is that the said woman is disappearing from your subconscious mind and thus freeing valuable space.
FAQ: What if she texts you out of the blue?
If you’re the same person after 1 year when she eventually texts you (unlikely in the first place), the interaction is very likely to go the same way.
I’ve had women text me back after 4-6 months of ghosting me. Every single time the outcome is the same as before.
The best way to determine how a person will treat you in the future is to analyze how they’ve treated you in the past.
If the woman has been disinterested in you, and you’re still the same person socially, financially and physically, her behavior is very likely to regain its previous direction after a brief moment of time.
FAQ: How long should I wait between the five texts?
There is no set rule. You can wait 1 minute or 24 hours. There are benefits to both methods. In the first case, you’re saving time. In the second, you’re passively creating trust.
Once you’ve spent some time in her contacts, she may feel like you’re more trustworthy even though there isn’t a base for that. The info that she has is still the same. But as we all know women aren’t rational and base all their choices on emotional pillars.
FAQ: What if she ghosts me before I’ve had the chance to send all five texts?
There are two approaches:
Approach 1: Abandon the interaction (recommended)
Approach 2: Offer her to meet (last resort)
Truth be told, the first approach is better because a woman that ghosts you in a few lines is probably too cold. Thus, she is very likely to reject or ignore the proposal.
I would do “approach 2” only when I really like the woman in question.