via: pixabay.com
I received an e-mail asking this question and decided to make a small post out of it rather than a long e-mail answer.
The strategy below is designed to reduce the number of flaky women that you deal with. As always, results will vary.
FAQ: What’s a flaky person?
A flaky person is someone whose actions and words don’t coincide. He/she declares a clear intention but then never delivers.
When it comes to dating, flaky behavior includes the following:
- Never coming to the date
- Postponing/Cancelling the date
- Unexpectedly disappearing after a few dates (a.k.a. ghosting)
etc.
How To Reduce The Number of Flaky Women That You Meet
Step 1: Understanding Pre-determinism
First, it’s important to fully comprehend that the trajectory of an interaction is close to 100% pre-determined as soon as it begins.
Or in other words, as soon as you start talking to a woman, it’s already decided whether she will go out with you or not. Your job is not to change the trajectory, but to unveil it and set a date or move on.
The outcome is determined by:
- Who you are
- Who she is
- The context
Step 2: The Five Texts Rule
My experience has unequivocally confirmed that there is zero positive correlation between long texting and a positive outcome.
In fact, I’ve noticed that the longer the conversation is, the less likely it is to experience a tangible benefit in the offline world (a date at the very minimum).
I’ve been in situations when a woman would constantly text me but would keep rejecting my offer to meet.
Why?
If a woman needs long texting to go out with you, one of the following applies:
a. She is heavily hesitating and wants you to either slip up and disqualify yourself or prove to her that you’re far greater than she thinks you’re.
If you are in that situation, your efforts are very likely to be futile no matter what. It will be wiser to bounce.
b. She is not in the mood to meet anyone regardless of who he is.
In that case, it’s rational to abandon the said woman because nothing of value will come out of the interaction.
Eventually, she will get bored of the texting romance and ghost you. You may even “warm her” for someone else. In all cases, it’s healthier to move on.
So, what’s the five texts rule?
The five texts rule is – ask her out in five texts.
The five lines should contain info about you and demand the same info from her. Below is an example:
Line 1: Hello. My name is Truth Seeker. Nice to meet you. (introduction)
Line 2: I’m X old. How old are you? (I skip this question if I already know how old she is).
Line 3: I work as a carpenter. How about you? (occupation)
Line 4: Do you like any sports? I ride bicycles (leisure time activities)
Line 5: Do you wanna meet on Friday? (date offer – many different formats can be used)
THE MOST IMPORTANT LINE
The most important line is always the one asking her out.
Many people overthink the formulation. Some say that generic offers such as: “Do you wanna go out?” without a specific timeline are lame. While others consider a super-specific question “pushy”.
I don’t think it matters. This is the most important line not because of its formulation but because it’s a call to action.
Her response will reveal how she really feels about you.
Here’s how to interpret the possible responses.
1. I would like to, but my boyfriend wouldn’t be happy about it.
I’ve been in many situations when I would talk to a woman only to receive the boyfriend line as soon as I ask her out.
Women truly love to string you along only to drop the boyfriend response on you. (Another reason to keep the conversation short.)
Some red pill brahs will tell you that this is a “shit test.” It may or may not be.
In all cases, I bounce because a woman that is willing to play similar games is very likely to be a flaky person.
I insta-block her and move on. (I will explain later why.)
2. A firm “no” (or a variation of it)
My reaction – insta-block.
3. Yes, but I have exams this month. Maybe in December. (It’s October)
My reaction – insta-block. Why? Because women change their minds all the time. Three weeks from now she may already be too cold for you.
Also, women lie. One time I was talking to a woman that gave me the exams response. Guess, what? A few days later, I saw her on a date with another guy.
If a date is postponed for an unknown moment, bounce.
4. Yes, but I am busy this week. How about next week?
That’s a nice response. If you receive it, proceed to schedule a date.
5. Maybe.
Maybe = leaning towards no.
To speed up the process and measure her interest, I proceed to offer a specific date, time and place.
After receiving her response, I make another evaluation.
If her response is vague, I insta-block her with no mercy.
6. Yes. Why not?
Proceed to scheduling a date.
Testing Her Interest
Ultimately, to avoid flaky women, you need to screen out those who have a higher than average interest in you.
You don’t want to waste your time with women who are 50/50 about you. This is the whole point of this exercise. A woman needs to be at least 60/40 in favor of meeting you.
You’re not changing anyone’s mind. You’re simply testing their interest and acting accordingly.
A woman that is lukewarm about you is more likely to get cold than hot. (Murphy’s law in a dating format).
Thus, lukewarm women are the biggest time-wasters. It’s better to receive a firm no (coldness) or yes (warmth) than to spend your time convincing someone to meet you.
A woman that needs 50 paragraphs, 5 phone calls and 150 selfies of convincing is very likely to either never meet you or to come to the date acting entitled as if you’re beneath her.
Why I insta-block women
My experience has confirmed that a woman would change her mind about you only when:
- You become many times more attractive.
- You become rich and famous.
- She gets old and can’t find anyone better.
- She needs something from you for a brief period and wants to rent you.
To satisfy the first condition, you will have to improve significantly.
The blunt reality is that most of us will never experience this transformation. But even if we do, the process is long. By the time, you’re done, the woman in question won’t be available or of interest to you.
For that reason, I don’t see a practical reason to keep a lukewarm woman in my contacts.
Another benefit of insta-blocking is that the said woman is disappearing from your subconscious mind and thus freeing valuable space.
FAQ: What if she texts you out of the blue?
If you’re the same person after 1 year when she eventually texts you (unlikely in the first place), the interaction is very likely to go the same way.
I’ve had women text me back after 4-6 months of ghosting me. Every single time the outcome is the same as before.
The best way to determine how a person will treat you in the future is to analyze how they’ve treated you in the past.
If the woman has been disinterested in you, and you’re still the same person socially, financially and physically, her behavior is very likely to regain its previous direction after a brief moment of time.
FAQ: How long should I wait between the five texts?
There is no set rule. You can wait 1 minute or 24 hours. There are benefits to both methods. In the first case, you’re saving time. In the second, you’re passively creating trust.
Once you’ve spent some time in her contacts, she may feel like you’re more trustworthy even though there isn’t a base for that. The info that she has is still the same. But as we all know women aren’t rational and base all their choices on emotional pillars.
FAQ: What if she ghosts me before I’ve had the chance to send all five texts?
There are two approaches:
Approach 1: Abandon the interaction (recommended)
Approach 2: Offer her to meet (last resort)
Truth be told, the first approach is better because a woman that ghosts you in a few lines is probably too cold. Thus, she is very likely to reject or ignore the proposal.
I would do “approach 2” only when I really like the woman in question.
This is an excellent article – wish there were more articles like that! Simple, true and straight to the point. I just wanted to mention that even though I have exclusively offline dating experiences, your recommendations 100% align with my findings. The predetermination is real, no reason to exchange more than a few messages, schedule a date as early as possible and talk there. Girls which are interested will agree to the date even if it’s the first thing you message them, girls which are interested but have a tight schedule will offer an alternative date. It’s that simple.
True. I’ve thought about straight up asking for a date in one message but never did it. I think having some basic information is good for both of you.
Texting is for 8th grade girls. Avoid it at all costs. Be direct in face to face contact and suggest the two of you go to such and such place to eat or a movie, etc. If she says no move on.
A woman who really wants you will be obvious and not let you get away.
Texting is close to unavoidable at this point unless you live in the wilderness.
I was on a chat website a couple days ago and remember a bunch of dudes claiming you need to “woo” women. And the women were claiming that I was “killing the vibe” lol because I was just asking a bunch out.
The best way to avoid flaky girls is to not talk to girls at all in the first place. Unless you’re getting laid with attractive women consistently, or you manage to establish a relationship with a woman talking to them is a waste of time.
If youre not doing one or the other then what you are doing is putting in a bunch of effort, draining yourself, and feeding her bottomless ego to get blue balled.
Women dont want to hear your problems, your goals, or even your view on the world. They want to do all that with you, if theyre feeling lonely/sad and you always tell them what they want to hear. Youre just a free private therapist.
Women are not your friends, and conversely neither are other men (theyre just chasing women and competing with you, as you are to them).
As usual, brilliant post. But most men will fail to accept this because if you apply the five text rule, which is a great rule, the vast majority, if not all, will be no (or maybe, or I have a bf or whatever). It’s easier for men to accept they just need a little “game” than to accept they are undesirable and will never be in a satisfying relationship and rarely, if ever, get laid.
What you say is true. The women that will actually accept you if you’re just an average guy are about 0.1% regardless of what you say or do.
And yes, women are not your friend. But it goes both ways. You want something from them and they want something from you. It’s a transactional union. The problem is that for most men the “conversion rate” is highly non-favorable.
On point, as always.
I’ve had many, many of those. Insta-ask out is the best filter. She may be praising you, lifting your spirits, chatting like you’ve know each other for years, smiling, looking like that girl that will choose a good and caring geek at the end of the movie. But as soon as you ask her out bluntly, watch her change. The more dating options you present her with, the more vague her excuse is going to be. At that moment you just walk away. If she’d like you, she’d find time. Always. And if you were Adam Driver she’d find the time even if all her relatives were on deathbed with MIT graduation exams deadline looming large.
Even if she gave you her number, it doesn’t mean anything. I recall numerous conversations that went like: “Hello, it’s X, we met at Y’s party two days ago. How bout we go out this Friday, I hear they have new cool show at the park. Or Saturday afternoon?” — only to detect a millisecond of hesitation and an answer: “Yeah, definitely, we could…It’s just that I have so much to do till the end of this week, so lets see next week, okay?”
Several times I went for the next week. And wouldn’t you know it, it turned out to be next week. And then the next. And then silence.
In my post-divorce agony I met a weird girl who had this bipolar disorder. But that didn’t stop her from lowering her guard despite her condition. She would often call and chat, and even take a walk. However, every time I invited her home, she’d come up with and excuse. I soon stopped answering her calls, and she stopped calling.
It really, really sucks to be short, unattractive and moderately poor 40-y.o. divorcee in today’s world.
With all the survival need for a family replaced by modern comfort; with most men-related functions outsorced to third parties; with the dawn of the age of excess choice and constant drive for new experiences; and with the society’s irreversible fixation on appearances, men are becoming just accessories. A badge of success to go along her gleaming hair, her sense of entitlement, her competition with other girls. Designer shoes to go with her scarf. A tall bro to show off. So only very handsome and beautiful count. The rest of us can believe in the power of love, anythingispossibleism, or crash land hard and try to adapt to this new and hostile world.
In the end, after three years and 20+ rejections, I just quit looking for a girlfriend and started ordering prostitutes. I used to despise them, but now I thank God they exist because they are the last level playing field. A sort of social justice even – a guarantee that everyone will get sex regardless of looks, height and social status.
“Even if she gave you her number, it doesn’t mean anything. I recall numerous conversations that went like: “Hello, it’s X, we met at Y’s party two days ago. How bout we go out this Friday, I hear they have new cool show at the park. Or Saturday afternoon?” — only to detect a millisecond of hesitation and an answer: “Yeah, definitely, we could…It’s just that I have so much to do till the end of this week, so lets see next week, okay?”
Very common.
Women love the attention. I also knew women that would deliberately go to a bar and flirt with a guy while knowing 100% that they will never go out with him. They would even kiss him as if it’s a romantic movie. Then they would disappear. The entire script was 100% pre-planned. They did it simply to feel powerful, “desired” and all that.
That’s why I always drop women who give me the “maybe next week response”.
If she says, next Friday (a specific day), that’s fine. But whenever she proposes an unknown moment in time, it’s always an insta-drop from me.
The fastest way to get ghosted is to ask a woman out 🙂
I’m the most pathetic of all, I confessed to my crush after one and half fucking year. And she was my therapist. I knew I had zero chances, but I said fuck it and I did it anyway.
Nice article.
I blocked women only few times after they said “no” or ghosted me. Some of texted me back after some time and with two of them it led to sex. And with one of these girls I texted a lot for like 4-5 hours and we met and sex in the next few days.
I think if you are an ~average guy there no universal rules for success or failure. Everything is so random when it comes to approaching women, unless you are Chad, even then, it doesn’t matter. As you said accepting that your results are pre-determined is the best thing you can do, because it will can free you from the annoying suspension of desirable outcome.
I had rules back in the day. But these days I act however I feel at the moment, which still doesn’t change my success with women. If she is answering in single word sentence I may tell she is phucking boring or just ignore her, it really doesn’t matter.
What matters is being lean, wearing cool clothes, nice watch and driving Mercedess, this says more than anything, unless you are ugly, then nothing can help you.
True.
But this post isn’t a recipe for success. It’s more like a recipe for saving your time and being efficient.
I can only assume that you’ve been ghosted by far more than 2 women. And if only two of them texted you back, you can make the assessment that once you’re ghosted, it’s close to permanent which is my experience as well. You can’t live your life thinking “oh, she will get back to men one day”. If a woman doesn’t respond she tends to forever not respond.
As to texting for hours, I personally consider it more harmful than anything. I have another rule – never give more information than needed. Remain a mystery. It’s both attractive and protective. Trust should be earned not given.
But as you say, if a woman likes you, your behavior can vary greatly without experiencing a different outcome.
Yes, I was ghosted many times and with these 2 women I got lucky. May be the time I texted them first they had a fuck buddy, or they weren’t in mood for men, or they where into skinny tattooed bad boys, or whatever reason. And after few months they found themselves alone, there wasn’t Chad around, so I guess the next best thing was me. Or maybe she was chatting with her friends about men while browsing FB and one of her friends told her that I had a nice long black hair and she decided to msg me, because of that preselection bias. Too many variables.
Agree about that long texting is a times sink. I have done it mostly when I was young and thirsty with a lot of time on my hands.
Is this for the casual market, the LTR market, or the marriage material market? It sounds like you have a mismatch here between what you really want, how you’re presenting yourself, and who you’re pursuing.
The most important thing to remember in all your interactions with women is that “never give information other than what is really necessary”. The more you talk about yourself the less attractive you become in the eyes of women. Be like a freaking puzzle and let them figure you out. The predetermination rule is real. Women decide if they’ll fuck you in the first 5 minutes of your interaction and so whatever you do, do not try to make yourself better or more fuckable in their eyes becuse it won’t work. Women’s “men radar” is an abolute beast of a machine and if they are experienced, there is no way you’ll trick them. There are of course those who are gullible and some men might take advantage of that, i mean if you go that way, just keep that relationship very brief. Like a booty call. Do not try to fall into their trap. Because unexperienced girls will try to prolong the time you spend with them (they are alone/ have issues etc.) and it will cost you a lot of your valuable time and in the end you will feel bad. So yeah. This is all i’ve came up with just from the top of my head. Just live your life. Build experience. You’ll figure things out. Do not be a fool. Don’t make the same mistake twice. Learn from them.
I think this need to be emphasized more, “the more you talk to a woman/girl, the more your value in her eyes will diminish”. My whole experience with women has taught me the fact that, “Women do not fall in love with you.” I repeat, “you are not the person that woman fall in love with”. Women actually fall in love with your image in their heads. And if you do things to disrupt this image (mostly by speaking too much in the first stages of the relationship) you can easily destroy her image of you. So just do not speak. Especially do not talk about yourself. Do not reveal your faults and problems to her. She doesn’t even want to hear about you. She just adores you at that point and exploit that, “until she is bored”. You as a man will understand if a woman is really interested in you long term, or she just enjoys your company for the short term. You need to figure out if you are her booty call candidate or her marriage candidate. That is up to you. But whatever you are, just please “speak less” and “do more”. Do what? you might ask. Well, anyhing but 🙂
Good article. Unfortuntately since 99.9% of women are flaky this will filter almost all of them
Kind sir, it seems your posting less these days. I take this as a good sign (spending that time doing more productive “real- life” stuff). This post is good and honestly i’ve been using a similar method for the past year. I only comment to ask when you are going to have a bulk discount for all your books (yes i’m that cheap. lol.)
Hello, Truthseeker !
I’ve been following you for a long time
I like your articles and writing style
The older generation teases the younger guys for not being masculine enough. I know you understand this topic. How can you develop your courage in the absence of threats and fears for a modern man? What can I do to prove my manhood? Would weight training be suitable for this role?
Best regards, Leonard
I just had a woman try to ‘banter’ with me on a dating site. She was a horrible person. So I asked how much she weighed (just like you do). I couldn’t stop laughing when she said how offended she was. Then I told her this wasn’t going to work out because she isn’t a kind person and ended the chat. Felt great.
Man don’t get me wrong, I really think you’re onto something with the ridiculousness of steroid usage. I’ve trained for 15 years and I have a great natural build. A guy with ok genetics who’s never lifted can hope on a mild dose of test and have a more impressive build than me in 6 months. The fitness industry is nothing but smoke and mirrors.
But it’s hard for me to truly understand how it can be THIS hard out there to pull chicks. You write article after article about how fruitless the whole endeavor is. I have some buddies who are like 4’s, and they still get chicks or have GF’s. I’m in my mid-30s, and I think you are around my same age.
Have you considered playing for the other team? 🥰
That guy is right. don’t talk. be a statute and it will work better
Good post and I’ll try this. But I know you and a lot of other guys believe looks and appearance matters the most for women. But I thin I must not live in a parallel universe, because, whenever I’m interested in a girl, they tend to choose an uglier guy. Most of the times, they are not even rich or tall. I’m tall (at elast for my region), fit (fitter than most guys), have my own job and live alone, most people say I’m attractive, and most of the times they choose ugly guys instread, which makes me think that appearance doesn’t take you so far, and money, the same thing… It is ver humilliating. Either these guys live in a parallel universe, or I’m so so so bad at conversation, talking, etc (the behavioral aspect), the my qualities are nulified by this
I am aware of this phenomenon/ It’s a long explanation and deserves a post.
Sometimes there are exceptions. I also know short, bold guys with girls. It happens, but in general, it’s not the rule.
I’m good looking, fit, and tall, and they always choose the ugly guy (most of them aren’t even rich). I think I dont live in the same universe as you
Proven Advice – you will thank me later
Plenty of experience in this as a man very successful with women and a bit older than most of you – to the men out there dealing with online dating – a lot of women will meet you for a date you need to propose a follow-up date in person but they will then flake out on that date even if you have solid game and are successful and good looking. Don’t take it personally but also DONT WASTE TIME ON HER. As a man in his 40’s who has dated and slept with over a hundred women – I will pass this advice on to the men in their teens and twenties who don’t know the game as well as I do:
Rule Number One: If a woman even once flakes on you for any reason before you have had sex with her block her number and move on.
Rule Number Two: Do not take women out to dinner until you have had sex with her – waste of money – take them out for a drink date one then out to somewhere close to your home on the second date that is active bowling mini golf and show her things and it is very important that you touch her appropriately – touch her waste don’t try to kiss her yet but touch her for sure – this makes them more interested in spreading her legs for you.
After this second in-person date where you are doing something active together (at a location close to your place) – ask her to come to your place to watch a movie. Put on an action movie that she will not want to watch and make sure you have wine and liquor at your place. Start the movie – still make no moves on her but offer her a glass of wine or a mixed drink. Then put your arm over her – and make out with her …
From here you need to get her naked and do your thing / if this doesn’t happen after 3 dates you most likely won’t be getting any tail. I have used this method successfully for over 20 years – now I am in my 40s – an OG and can pass it on to you men looking for advice on how to get more tail.
Very important – your confidence/alcohol / second date something active when you can touch her close to your place. Follow this young buck – and watch the results.
-Most importantly if a woman ghosts you or changes plans on you before you have had sex with her block her number – that’s why I advise going for the tail date 2 / women have plenty of men on the online apps – and once you hit it she will most likely stick around.
Hope that helps my younger tail seekers
If she wont sleep with you on the third date block her number.
I understand your point of view, but in this case the only goal is sex which in my opinion is a poor long term strategy.
All foids r flaky sluts. Just accept incel status I recommend incels.is it’s a great place full of fellow blackpillers