The Types Of “Brahs” That You Meet On Bodybuilding.com

The forum section of bodybuilding.com allows you to meet all kinds of fascinating people a.k.a. “cool brahs”. This post classifies the members of the message board into different groups based on behavior, beliefs and goals.

1. The “I Want to Build Muscles Like Brad Pitt from Fight Club” Brahs

brad-pitt-fight-club-steroids

General characteristics 

The “I Want to Build Muscles like Brad Pitt from Fight Club Brahs” form a large portion of bodybuilding.com’s audience. Those brahs are usually into aesthetics and want to achieve “the perfect pussy slaying physique”. They prefer to do bodyweight exercises at home like 50 Cent does in the movies.


The IWBMBPFC brahs have a precise and very efficient approach to the whole game – they want to take the essentials with minimal losses and without going into deep waters.

Specifics

The IWBMBPFC brahs are usually on the handsome part of the spectrum and don’t want to mutate into “ugly bodybuilders”. Most of them are also secretly aspiring to become successful actors in Hollywood.

Weaknesses

The IWBMBPFC brahs are highly susceptible to mirror addiction a.k.a. narcissism.

2. The “When Should I Take My Whey Protein For Maximum Gains” Brahs

Time-to-het-wheysted

General characteristics 

The “When Should I Take My Whey Protein For Maximum Gains” (WSITMWPMG) brahs form 60-75% of the community on bodybuilding.com. Those are the brahs willing to sacrifice everything to achieve absolutely sick gains.

Unfortunately, many representatives of this brah type just can’t find the perfect moment to take a protein shake. Is it 1.23 seconds after your last set or maybe 1.22 seconds?

Well, that’s why the WSITMWPMG brahs are on bodybuilding.com – to learn the answer.

Specifics

The WSITMWPMG brahs sound a little snobbish but they mean good {well good only for their muscles}. Those are the kind of brahs that would skip their wedding if it interferes with their whey protein rituals.

Weaknesses 

The lifestyle of those brahs is usually highly affected by their addiction to whey protein. Many lose everything in the quest for proper protein intake.

3. The “You Can Get as BIG as Ronnie Coleman Naturally” Brahs

ronnie-coleman-police-officer

General characteristics 

The “You Can Get as BIG as Ronnie Coleman Naturally Brahs” form 30-40% of the brahs on bodybuilding.com.

This brah segment divides into two groups. The first one consists of ignorant noobs who really don’t know anything and believe that if they do one arm push-ups like Rocky Balboa, they will get as big as Ronnie Coleman. Those guys need to finally try lifting for longer than a week.

The second group is made of the polar opposite – very advanced brahs on steroids selling false hope to the noobs. Those brahs usually know very well what’s going on but prefer to keep it a secret and play with the hearts and wallets of the ignorant boys and girls.

Specifics

The beginners who fall under this category due to ignorance usually have a hard time separating fiction from reality whereas the advanced group consists of people with low moral standards.

Weaknesses

The main weakness of the beginners in this group is that they often believe everything. This attitude may leave them on the street with nothing except a box of whey protein. Meanwhile, the advanced brahs part of this category risk going down into the deeper stages of Hell.

4. The “If You Don’t Squat and Deadlift, You Are Unworthy of Oxygen” Brahs

deadlifting-impress-the-girls

General characteristics 

The “If You Don’t Squat and Deadlift, You Are Unworthy of Oxygen Brahs” (IYDSDYUO) brahs are the purists on bodybuilding.com’s forum. They don’t believe in other Gods other than the Squat and the Deadlift and do not tolerate different religions. They are willing to ridicule and insult anybody who has deviated from the right path. Unless you are paying your dues to the Gods Of Iron a.k.a. the Squat and his wife the Deadlift, it is believed that you will burn in Hell.

Specifics

The IYDSDYUO brahs are obsessed and unable to see the reality of this world.

Weaknesses

The main weakness of the IYDSDYUO brahs is their annoying self-righteousness.

5. The “I am Bigger than Frank Zane and Still Natural” Brahs

Kali Muscle Is On Steroids

via  youtube.com

General characteristics 

The “I am Bigger than Frank Zane and Still Natural (IBFZSN) Brahs” a.k.a. Fake Natties form a small minority on bodybuilding.com, and yet they exercise a lot of power on there because many beginners believe them. Those

Those brahs have the total support of the BIG BROTHER who is protecting them in their quest to misinform the masses and make money on the back of the “You Can Get as BIG as Ronnie Coleman Naturally Brahs” who are selling their houses to buy supplements and finally get them muscles.

Specifics

The IBFZSN brahs are the type of brahs that fuck your girlfriend in front of you and tell you they didn’t do it. In other words, those brahs are highly delusional and have questionable moral values. However, the IBFZSN brahs are very smart and can manipulate their way out of every situation.

Weaknesses

The IBFZSN brahs suffer a lot. What comes around goes around. Karma’s a bitch.

6. The “I am 10-15% body fat and already breaking all natty limits” brahs

source: IllPumpYouUp.com

source IllPumpYouUp.com

General characteristics 

Many claim to have broken the natural limits. Those would be the brahs thinking they are 220lbs at “no more than 10-15% body fat” when in fact, they are 215lbs after export and hold 25-30% body fat.

Specifics

This brah kind is highly sensitive to criticism and only takes advice from other members of the clan. Those brahs truly believe that they are 10% body fat because they can see the top row of their abs under the right lighting. Another name for those individuals is permabulkers or people who can’t put the fork down from fear of losing muscle mass.

Weaknesses

Since those brahs are usually permabulkers they tend to spend a lot of money on food. Their biggest weakness, however, is the inability to realize that they are not going to compete in Mr.Olympia anytime soon.

7. The “I Have a Degree in Science so STFUP” Brahs

nerd-bodybuilding

General characteristics 

A very small part of bodybuilding.com’s community is formed by individuals who have achieved a high-level of expertise in the field of training and nutrition. Those are the type of brahs who live by the book and unless you have some serious research to back your claims, you better shut the fuck up before they cut your throat with their college degree. To be fair, communicating with similar brahs can cause permanent brain damage due to the high concentration of snobbery in the air. However, sometimes the nerds can save the day by exposing the “I am Bigger than Frank Zane and Still Natural Brahs”.

Specifics

Those are the type of brahs that pleasure themselves while looking at their college degrees instead of actual sexual content.

Weakness

Those brahs are highly analytical and can be some of the biggest nerds you are ever likely to meet.

8. The “You are negged and all red, faggot!” Brahs

keyboard-warrior-bodybuilding.com

General characteristics 

The members of the forum on bodybuilding.com can “rep” and “neg” each other. In other words, you can receive a plus or a minus from other members depending on your behavior. When somebody receives too many minuses his or hers status bar becomes all red – a sign that you are at the bottom of the online society.

This is what gave birth to the “You Are Negged and All Red, Faggot Brahs”. Those are the type of brahs that take their life on bodybuilding.com very seriously and love receiving “reps” from other people. It makes them feel happy and accomplished.

Weaknesses 

Those brahs are often conformists and afraid to fight against the status quo.

 9. The “Why can’t I get big? I am already eating raw eggs like Rocky” Brahs

drinking-raw-eggs-to-get-huge

General characteristics 

The majority of the guys on bodybuilding.com are beginners who are highly uneducated on the subject of building muscle. They’ve watched a couple of Rocky movies and now believe that copying Balboa’s training plan will make them huge.

Specifics

Those brahs have a hard time understanding that this world is nothing more than a large deception filled with Hollywood propaganda.

Weaknesses

Those brahs are highly impatient and often don’t stick around long enough to achieve real results.

10. The “Will I Get the Girls Once I Add an Inch to My Arms” Brahs

get-the-girls-by-building-bigger-arms

General characteristics 

The “Will I Get the Girls Once I Add an Inch to My Arms Brahs” expect to become the ultimate “slayers” upon acquiring extra slabs of meat on their arms.

Specifics

Those are the type of brahs that believe that muscles can negate their ugly faces, shortness and lack of a Swiss bank account.

Weaknesses

Those brahs often confuse love with temporary sexual attraction.

4 comments

  1. Zher0

    LOLL yeah!!
    Now let’s create the group “FTALDFLGASS” (FuckThemAllDrugFedLiarsGurusAndSupplements Sellers) we train for joy and fun and for being in contact with the innerself.

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