The Types Of ‘Brahs’ You Meet On Bodybuilding.com

Bodybuilding.com and especially the forum section allows you to meet all kinds of fascinating people a.k.a. ‘cool brahs‘. We have classified the members of the forum in a few different groups according to their primary behavior and goals.

1. The ‘I Want to Build Muscles Like Brad Pitt from Fight Club’ brahs

brad-pitt-fight-club-steroids

General characteristics 


The ‘I Want to Build Muscles like Brad Pitt from Fight Club’ (IWBMBPFC) brahs form a large portion of bodybuilding.com’s audience. Those brahs are usually into aesthetics and achieving ‘the perfect pussy slaying physique‘. They are not really interested in becoming huge bodybuilders, but getting into fitness modeling seems like a good choice to them.

They prefer to do bodyweight exercises at home like ‘real’ 50 Cent type of gangstas do in the movies. They also want to have shredded razor sharp abs for the girls to touch and decently shaped pecs and arms. The IWBMBPFC brahs have a precise and very efficient approach to the whole game – they want to take the essentials with minimal losses and without going into deep waters.

Specifics

The IWBMBPFC brahs are usually on the handsome part of the spectrum and don’t want to become ‘ugly bodybuilders‘. Most of them are also secretly aspiring to become successful actors in Hollywood.

Weaknesses

The IWBMBPFC brahs are highly susceptible to porn addiction as well as Web cam sex. Just launch any of the Chatroulette like sites and there you will see a lot of IWBMBPFC brahs showing their abs and pecs to strangers.

2. The ‘When Should I Take My Whey Protein For Maximum Gains’ brahs

Time-to-het-wheysted

General characteristics 

The ‘When Should I Take My Whey Protein For Maximum Gains’ (WSITMWPMG) brahs form about 60-75% of the community on bodybuilding.com. Those are the brahs that are willing to sacrifice it all in order to achieve absolutely sick gains. They are not afraid to show how much their hard earned mass is worth to them, and want the whole world to know that they will never make compromises with protein intake, timing and dosages.

Unfortunately, those are the type of brahs that just can’t seem to find the perfect second to take their protein shakes. Is it 1.23 seconds after your last set or maybe 1,22 seconds?

Well, that’s why the WSITMWPMG brahs are on bodybuilding.com. They need to know the answer to this very question.

Specifics

The WSITMWPMG brahs sound a little snobbish but they mean good {well good only for their muscles}. Those are the kind of brahs that would skip their wedding, if it interferes with their whey protein rituals.

Weaknesses 

The WSITMWPMG brahs’ lifestyle is usually highly affected by their addiction to whey protein. Many people have lost their wives and husbands in the quest for satisfying the needs of the protein God.

3. The ‘You Can Get as BIG as Ronnie Coleman Naturally’ brahs

ronnie-coleman-police-officer

General characteristics 

The ‘You Can Get as BIG as Ronnie Coleman Naturally’ brahs form a good 30-40% of the brahs on bodybuilding.com. This kind of brahs divides in two groups. The first group consists of ignorant noobs who really don’t know anything and believe that if they do one arm push-ups like Rocky Balboa, they will get as big as Ronnie Coleman. Those guys obviously need to finally try to lift for than a week. The second group consists of the polar opposite – very advanced brahs on steroids selling false hope to the noobs. Those brahs usually know very well what’s going, but prefer to keep it all secret and play with the ignorant noobs.

Specifics

The beginners who fall under this category due to ignorance usually have hard time separating fiction from reality while the advanced group consists of people with low moral standards.

Weaknesses

The main weakness of the beginners that fall into this category is that they often believe everything people sell them and could end up on the street with nothing at all. At the same time the advanced brahs part of this category usually simply go to the deeper stages of Hell.

4. The ‘If You Don’t Squat and Deadlift, You Are Unworthy of Breathing’ brahs

deadlifting-impress-the-girls

General characteristics 

The ‘If You Don’t Squat and Deadlift, You Are Unworthy of Breathing’ (IYDSDYUB) brahs are the purists of bodybuilding.com’s forum. They don’t believe in other Gods other than the Squat and Deadlift and do not tolerate different religions. They are willing to ridicule and insult anybody who has deviated from the right path. Unless you are paying your dues to the Gods Of Iron a.k.a. the Squat and his wife the Deadlift, it is believed that you will burn in Hell.

Specifics

The IYDSDYUB brahs are know to be highly obsessive over their squat and deadlift numbers. It’s not uncommon for them to dream about moving heavy barbells. They also believe that the Gods Of Iron has prepared a special place for them somewhere in heaven.

Weaknesses

The main weakness of the IYDSDYUB brahs is that they are known to be too close minded and the overall feel you are left with after contact with such people is that they have one big fat d*** all the way in their b*** f*** a***.

5. The ‘I am Bigger than Frank Zane and Still Natural’ brahs

Kali Muscle Is On Steroids

via: youtube.com

General characteristics 

The ‘I am Bigger than Frank Zane and Still Natural’ (IBFZSN) brahs a.k.a. Fake Natties form a small minority on bodybuilding.com and yet they exercise a lot of power on there because beginners believe them. Those brahs also have the support of the BIG BROTHER who is protecting them in their quest to misinform the masses and make money on the back of the ‘You Can Get as BIG as Ronnie Coleman Naturally’ brahs who are selling their houses in order to buy supplements and finally get them muscles.

Specifics

The IBFZSN brahs are the type of brahs that fuck your girlfriend in front of you and tell you they didn’t do it. In other words those brahs are highly delusional and have somewhat questionable morals. However, the IBFZSN brahs are very smart and can manipulate their way out of every situation.

Weaknesses

The main weakness of the IBFZSN brahs is that they usually suffer a lot in the end of the day. What comes around goes around and Karma’s as bitch.

6. The ‘I am 10-15% body fat and already breaking all natty limits’ brahs

source: IllPumpYouUp.com

source: IllPumpYouUp.com

General characteristics 

There are many people who have supposedly broken the natural limits in terms of size that can be achieved without steroids. Those are the type of brahs that usually claim they are 220 lbs at ‘no more than 10-15% body fat’ when in fact they are 215 lbs after export and 25-30% body fat.

Specifics

This type of brahs is highly sensitive to criticism and only take critiques from other members of their clan. They truly believe that they are 10% body fat because under the right lightning the top two abs show. Those brahs are also known as permabulkers or people who can’t put the fork down from fear of losing muscle mass.

Weaknesses

Since those brahs are usually permabulkers they tend to spend a lot of money on food and toilet paper. Their biggest weakness, however, is the inability to realize that they are not going to compete in Mr. Olympia anytime soon. Regardless, all of those guys secretly dream that they are going to win major competitions naturally.

7. The ‘I Have a Degree in Science so STFUP’ brahs

nerd-bodybuilding

General characteristics 

A very small part of bodybuilding.com’s community is formed by individuals who have achieved high level of expertise in the field of nutrition. Those are the type of brahs who live by the book and unless you have some serious research to back your claims, you better shut the fuck up before they cut your throat with their college degree. To be quite fair, communicating with similar brahs can cause permanent damage to the brain from the amount of snobbery in the air. However, sometimes the nerds can save the day by exposing the ‘I am Bigger than Frank Zane and Still Natural’ brahs.

Specifics

Those are the type of brahs that pleasure themselves while looking at their college degrees instead of actual sexual content.

Weakness

Those brahs are highly analytical and can be some of the biggest nerds you are ever likely to meet.

8. The ‘You are negged and all red, faggot!’ brahs

keyboard-warrior-bodybuilding.com

General characteristics 

For those of you who don’t know the members of the forum on bodybuilding.com can ‘rep’ and ‘neg’ each other. In other words, you can receive ‘+’ or ‘-‘ from other members of the forum depending on your behavior. When somebody has no ‘+’ a.k.a. ‘reps’ his status bar becomes all red and according to the standards this means that the person in question is highly despised by the community. This is what gave birth to the ‘You Are Negged And All Red, Faggot’ brahs. Those are the type of brahs that take their life on bodybuilding.com very seriously and love receiving ‘reps’ from other people. It makes them feel happy and accomplished.

Specifics

Those are the type of brahs that experience high levels of pleasure from being part of an online community.

Weaknesses 

Those brahs are often conformists and afraid to fight against the status quo.

 9. The ‘Why can’t I get big? I am already eating raw eggs like Rocky’ brahs

drinking-raw-eggs-to-get-huge

General characteristics 

The majority of the guys on bodybuilding.com are beginners and highly uneducated on the subject of building muscle. They’ve watched a couple of Rocky movies and believe that copying Balboa’s training plan will make them huge.

Specifics

Those brahs have hard time understanding that this world is nothing more than a large deception filled with Hollywood propaganda.

Weaknesses

Those brahs are highly impatient and often don’t stick around long enough to achieve real results.

10. The ‘Will I Get the Girls Once I Add an Inch to My Arms’ brahs

get-the-girls-by-building-bigger-arms

General characteristics 

Finally, we arrive at what everybody has been thinking since the beginning of time – will girls appreciate you more once you have bigger arms?

The ‘Will I Get the Girls Once I Add an Inch to My Arms‘ brahs form virtually almost 98% of the brahs on bodybuilding.com. Some of them may hide undercover, but in the end of the day we are all desperately training to impress the girls and get their attention.

Specifics

Those are the type of brahs that believe having big muscles can replace more important girls attracting elements such as character and Swiss bank account.

Weaknesses

Those brahs often confuse love with temporary sexual attraction.

4 comments

  1. Zher0

    LOLL yeah!!
    Now let’s create the group “FTALDFLGASS” (FuckThemAllDrugFedLiarsGurusAndSupplements Sellers) we train for joy and fun and for being in contact with the innerself.

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