A long time ago, during my bulking days, I read a disinformation article entitled “Bodybuilding Has Lied To You”. The main point was that you need an incredible amount of calories to get big “bodybuilding” muscles, and therefore junk food is your friend…sometimes. Naturally, this notion turned out to be false, although many people continue to believe in […]
Holidays are overrated. Why? First, you need a holiday to recover from the holiday. Second, a week is just not enough. Before you know it, you come back, restart the machine and spin the wheel for the rest of year. The holiday drama reminds me of the widely spread idea that your prom night is […]
This story took place during my bulking era. I knew that it was going to be one of those days when everything is against your comfort, but I was yet to meet the full level of crazy coming my way. At the time, I was doing the poor man’s version of GOMAD, or in simpler […]
This is another story about a co-worker of mine. The guy was a metrosexual semi-delusional natural bodybuilder born with the wild spirit of a skirt chaser. Thanks to him I had an opportunity to gather insight into the brain mechanisms of those who lift primarily to increase their reproduction skills. He was always serving religiously […]
Two years ago, I had the displeasure of working with an advanced level CrossFit bitch. The experience taught me a lot about both – bitches and CrossFit. First, what’s a CrossFit bitch? A CrossFit bitch is a female specimen sharing all characteristics of a total bitch while also doing CrossFit training multiple times a week. […]
Have you ever heard of planned self-damage? It’s simple – instead of lying to yourself that you will eat clean forever, you plan your fails carefully to avoid a more severe crisis. The following story happened precisely because of this principle. It was early evening. The rest of the slaves were also happy that the […]
On my way to the bus station I passed by a toilet shop with a huge window and did what many victims of the lifting game do – I started scanning my reflection for abnormal muscle development. I had to keep the scan short because people working in the store started looking at me as […]
This story took place a long time ago when I was still a naive rookie eager to discover the mystery of muscle construction. Summertime was just beginning, and I had a 2-month break from school ahead of me. Sounds good, but it wasn’t. I was at that age when the summer is more of a […]
The headache was strong and persistent. There was a little voice inside of me constantly repeating the phrase “Disregard all. Acquire muscles”. I tried to make it go away, but it kept on coming like a boomerang. This time it was serious. You can postpone things only so much. Eventually, the denial and rejections accumulate […]
The biceps hysteria is a very interesting phenomenon that could tell us volumes about the modern society. It all started many years ago in the early days of muscle branding when the photos were still black and white, and the special effects were limited to lighting, angles, and posing. Then Arnold took it to the next level with […]
I was waiting in line to buy a bus ticket. After 15 minutes, it was finally my turn but out of nowhere a short fat man in his 40s wearing a funny cap designed to hide his lack of hair decided to step in front me. My mind immediately started searching for the right solution to this obvious injustice: […]