A while back a reader asked me: “Why do women have so much power on the dating market?”
To fully answer this question, one has to go philosophical and dig into the occult. At the time, however, I didn’t feel like exercising the philosopher in mе. I wanted to focus on the practical and simply said: “Leverage”.
What is leverage?
Leverage a.k.a. mechanical advantage is a system/tool which amplifies your output/results per unit of effort.
The most basic example would be a lever or a pry bar.
When you zoom in, you will find out that all power comes from leverage.
Examples of Leverage On The Dating Market
Part 1: Women
Women have the following levers when it comes to modern dating:
1. Digital infrastructure
Women rule social media and dating apps.
An average woman on a dating app gets an unlimited number of matches and texts whereas an average man receives disappointment unless his lottery luck activates.
Women know it, consciously or not, and stay on those digital islands because they love the attention and the admiration that they receive seconds upon uploading a new pic.
2. Smartphones (texting…etc.)
Smartphones and texting form a huge dating lever never seen before in history.
In the past, one had to be physically present in someone’s company to flirt with them. Today, an average woman selling shoes in the mall can be talking to football stars and singers in her lunch break.
Not only that, but the exchanges are close to anonymous. Unless the other party shares a screenshot or opens their mouth no one would know of the communication.
3. Cultural shifts
Hating men and praising women has been the norm for a long time.
10 years ago, a local male singer competing against a female performer said that she is better than him simply because she is a woman. I don’t think there’s a need to point out what’s wrong with this mentality.
Men are doubting and hating themselves. We are led to believe that everything wrong in the world is the result of something that our male ancestors have done.
Simultaneously, the media is propagating concepts poisonous to a healthy relationship between a man and a woman. Polyamory would be one of them.
4. The Justice System
Most women get the kids plus steady alimony after a divorce. The law seems to favor females when it comes to separation.
The sexual revolution and modern degeneracy wouldn’t reach their current heights without contraception in the form of pills, condoms…etc.
Three years ago, a teenage girl in the gym proudly stated in my presence that she’d slept with 20+ men. None of this would be possible without contraception because the repercussions would be too great.
Without “safety precautions”, the sexual conquests outside of a stable relationship would decrease (not stop) because people would fear STDs and unwanted pregnancies.
When I hear the word “abortion”, I feel a mix of disgust and sadness pass through me.
I’m sorry for the women that go through this procedure and consider the entire thing perverted. My being just doesn’t agree with it.
In my humble opinion, the only legitimate reason for an abortion is a condition that threatens the baby or the mother.
A while back, I watched a degenerate show in which one of the characters was criticizing a judge who’d outlawed abortion in a state.
Her reasoning was as follows: “A girl shouldn’t ruin her life at 15 due to some old dude’s opinion.”
Here’s my response to that: maybe 15-year-old kids shouldn’t be creating opportunities for unwanted pregnancies in the first place.
How does abortion create leverage for a woman?
Ultimately, abortion is a form of late contraception allowing women and their male partners to get away with promiscuous behavior.
If those options didn’t exist, women and men would be more careful who they sleep with it, and a lot of the degeneracy wouldn’t have a basis to exist.
8. Government support + Protection
In the past, a woman needed a man to protect her and “lift the heavy boxes”. Today, she can get that assistance from the state. As a consequence, the average woman has a lower incentive to settle for a regular guy. Instead, she chooses to “find herself”. You know the rest…
9. Sex and Offspring Gatekeepers
What do people say when a man has sex with a woman?
“He got lucky.”
This expression clearly indicates that the ultimate decision is not made by the man because “luck” is technically outside of someone’s control. Who makes the decision for a man to get lucky? The woman.
Since women play the role of sex gatekeepers, they gain a strong advantage (lever) that can be used to control a man.
More importantly, the woman decides whether a man will have a chance to reproduce or not.
Part 2: Men
The average man has weak leverage on the current daring market. However, there’s a group of males who enjoy the same or even greater benefits than women do. Those individuals are commonly known as “hot guys”, “handsome alphas”, “ballers” and of course “Chads”.
Here’s a list of levers that those individuals have on their side:
1. Social media + Dating apps
Just like women, hot guys can secure romantic and sexual experiences anonymously via a smartphone. They only need a handful of photos and an Internet connection.
The demand for hot guys has never been greater. It has always existed, of course, but today, it’s reaching unparalleled proportions.
In the past, women were dating guys from their social circles. Today, the average woman is expanding. She wants men from the upper echelons, and society is not pressuring her to get married.
In consequence, the shares of average guys drop whereas the value of top-tier men rises even more.
That scarcity gives a handful of men the leverage needed to date all kinds of women with ease.
3. Visual focus
We live in a highly visual world where appearance is more important than actions and character. If you aren’t attractive, you wouldn’t match the success of hot guys on dating apps even if you save an entire village from death.
Massive wealth is always the result of great leverage.
Why are football stars richer than average people? Hard work?
Tell it to the coal miners spending 10+ hours underground.
It’s not hard work but leverage.
What leverage does a coal miner have to make more money? Over time, he will become faster and develop greater endurance, but the upgrade will never be enough because his product/service cannot be sold to multiple people simultaneously.
Conversely, a popular singer or a sports superstar is technically offering a service to millions of people all at once thanks to technology, media exposure, and the emphasis that human society puts on spectacles.
Hard work is pointless for money printing unless it gets you to a position of high leverage.
If you want to get rich, you should be increasing your leverage rather than continuing to use a shorter lever “harder”.
How do governments control people?
Through levers such as:
- Money. They have more money than all of us and can influence economic processes.
- Force. The system has claimed autonomy on force and violence through military forces, police, and secret services that we don’t even know of.
- Knowledge. The architects may be evil, but that doesn’t change the fact that they know more about this world than the average person. They leverage their cultural and spiritual knowledge in their favor.
- Laws. All laws except God’s are written by humans. In some states, you can use drugs in others you can’t because the people there have decided so. Those behind human laws have great leverage on everyone.
When a member of a group misbehaves, the levers above are used against him/her.
Behind politics, you find force. And behind force, you find weapons. For that reason, the system wants to have a monopoly on truly powerful weaponry.
In some cities, people aren’t allowed to carry even a basic knife.
What is the logic behind the disarmament of the masses?
They want to save you from the bad guys, right? No. They want to save themselves from you.
They achieve that safety by keeping common people domesticated.
Can you imagine what kind of leverage the masses would have with a deadly weapon in the hands?
Why do people want a good education for their children?
Because highly-educated people have leverage on the job market. With enough training, almost anyone can work as a cashier, a janitor or some sort of hygienist. The people doing those jobs have low leverage because their skill set isn’t unique.
Conversely, a skilled surgeon or dentist has great leverage because very few people can match his capabilities.
What multiplies a natural’s leverage?
Technically, a natural gains leverage against atrophy by training hard and following a good diet.
E.g., A guy doing compound lifts and eating eggs has an advantage over a dude relying on triceps kickbacks and a diet of waffles.
However, training and eating “right” is a lever that cannot be lengthened without becoming unnatural.
By taking steroids, non-naturals greatly increase their leverage and get more muscle mass for the same or even less effort.
If people excel in a lift, it’s because their skeleton offers extra leverage when performing that specific movement.
For example, I have long arms, and deadlifts are “easier” for me whereas bench pressing is miserable.
All the cheats and tweaks (e.g., quarter monolift sumo squats, knee wraps…etc.) have become part of powerlifting because they increase one’s leverage when performing a lift.
Focus On The Elements That Increase Your Leverage
The first step to benefiting from the aforementioned principle is to determine the qualities and actions that increase your leverage in regards to a specific goal.
The second is to focus directly on them while ignoring peripheral habits (e.g., waking up early) that do not necessarily increase your leverage.
In the world of dating, the key levers are: looks, money and socializing.
The more attractive and richer you become while expanding your online and offline social circles, the more your effort multiplies.
On the other hand, if you concentrate on elements that have none or poor effect on your leverage (e.g., spending hours analyzing your ‘text game’), you will experience minuscule or no improvement at all.
The same applies to other ventures in life. This is the only way to get results…other than unreal luck.
Happy New Year.
Great to have you back.
Keep posting you smart mofo
Keep the articles coming man a lot of people look forward to reading your work. Thanks for what you do
Please write a article on weight and bodyweight training for boxers.
This was great and I will apply this to my daily life.
God’s was THELEMA wasnt it? Jokes aside, good article.
Yes i agree. came to the same conclusion years ago. power is very specific to say the least.
play your cards right. why run when you can fly ?
You are wrong about abortion, and egregiously so. Apart from that great article, thanks.
I’d like to share my opinion about what I think women look for in a man based on my own life experience.
I never told that to anyone cause I’ve never found anyone whom I think could understand me.
English is not my first language nonetheless I’ll try to write as best as I can.
I’m 41 and a very shy person since childhood. Because of my shyness I have no social life, no friends and needless to say, no girlfriend.
Because of my lack of social skills, I ended up working as a civil servant, in a dead end job in a office making only a minimum wage for more than 17 years.
I work in a large room with a dozen of people. But I never engage in any conversation with them, I’m always quiet. Whenever someone quit the job and is replaced for a new employee, I try to act like a “normal person”, in hope of giving them a better impression of myself (especially if it is a woman). I struggle to greet them. I keep looking for an opportunity to greet them. But when it happens, more often then not, my greetings come out awkwardly, not natural or spontaneous and with no charisma. And soon they’ll start to avoid and ignore me.
Everytime I cross paths with someone, especially strangers, I feel unease.
Everytime I’m about to enter a place, if I suddenly bump into someone, even if it’s a person I know, I have a scare. As one who’s been caught by surprise doing something wrong.
At work, if I have to leave the room for some reason, I’m always afraid of suddenly bumping into someone the moment I’m approaching the door, cause I know I will have a scare and the person will notice it. And that’s embarrassing.
I look enviously at the “socially normal people” around me and think: “How can they be able to act so naturally towards each other? They don’t know what it is to feel anxious even in the simplest social situations”
I believe that to most people, getting marriage (or living with someone) is something completely natural and certain to happen. For these people, death is not the only certainty in life. It’s death and marriage (or being with someone). Many of them even have the luxury of choosing whom they wanna marriage with. As for me, I shall not even have to choice to get married. I’ll explain why later when I conclude.
Thank to the internet, I’ve managed to have three dates throughout my entire life. Only three girlfriends. Last date was about three years ago and it has lasted less than two months. But before that I’d already spent more than 15 years without dating. Not even having a female friend to talk to in person.
Anyway, here is what I’ve learned: in all of these three dates, I noticed I’ve been kinda physically and intellectually accepted by them.
I’m not a good looking guy. My body is awkwardly skinny, I was born with a noticeable hunchback and forward neck. And the left side of my chest is noticeably more pronounced than the right side cause my spine is also a little twisted in its vertebrae. I’m 5’9 tall but with very small bones.
But nonetheless, because I’d be all the time (without they knowing) consciously forcing myself into a better posture when I was with them, I think they would overlook the sort of deformities of my body.
And about intellectually, all of them would consider me as an intelligent and nice guy.
However, “socially” I was never accepted. My very poor social skills could not be tolerated by any of them. Especially because poor social skills is rightly equated with a man with no good prospective in life.
After all, what to expect of a man who, because of his shyness, is incapable of having a good job with a decent salary? What to expect of a man who’s afraid of driving? What woman would marry a man who’s incapable of driving her to a hospital when she’s not feeling good, doing groceries, going for a drive with the family, traveling etc?
So, my conclusion is that above everything else, women look for and is attracted to men who’s socially capable. A man who has the ability to navigate the social realm with ease. In other words, the value of a man in the eyes of a woman is proportional to his capacity to thrive, to succeed in life. Women want men with good prospects in life, men who have a great future waiting for them. One who proves to be a good provider and protector of her. One who’s able to give the nice things in life to his family. And that’s the reason I don’t even have the choice of getting marriage, let alone with whom.
I consider myself as being a nice and intelligent guy. Unfortunately, my intelligence and niceness cannot be converted into tangible success in the social realm. Because I’m shy, I don’t have the ability to be a social and charismatic person. Much on the contrary. I’m often seen as being weird, unfriendly, angry face, or even arrogant.
So I conclude that the “secret” of success is to possess good social abilities. There’s no such thing as a successful shy man. Bill Gates “would not have been Bill Gates” if he was shy. Same with Albert Einstein, Bred Pitt, Bon Jovi, Joe Biden etc. For without social abilities, the laws of the Universe say that no one can get anywhere in life.
See those YouTuber pranksters? They seem to be full of confidence, wittiness, boldness, charm. They are seen by women with great admiration and desire. For women like to see qualities in men that they can admire and make her female friends envious. And a shy man is just the opposite of it. A shy man is shameful. Shame on shy men.
Honestly, I don’t have any hope in a change in this status quo. The human brain is just wired to be like that. In other words, you will never be able to convince the female human brain that, although you are shy, although you have poor social skills, although you can’t succeed in life, nonetheless you are a nice, sensible, sensitive guy able to understand her and willing to develop a nice and sincere relationship with her. And that’s what’s important.
My only comfort is to know that when I die, all my wounds will be healed. All my sufferings would’ve be gone. And actuality there’ll come a day where even all the injustice and unfairness of this world will have ceased. Life will not last forever.
Thank you for sharing your story. But I think that you have the strength to overcome your shyness. You’ve already done it. You just have to keep going.
Thank you for the answer. It’s encouraging. I have a question if you don’t mind.
What would be your perspective about this life. For example, I think most people would say that life is good. Would you agree with that?
I mean, I see life as a constant and relentless struggle. Life is a burden, a competition. Life is heavy, full of suffering and strife. A place of disappointment and heart breaking. Life is not good.
Now, what I really wanna know from you is if in your opinion, the “weight” of this life is dependent on a person “strength”, or life will be heavy for everybody no matter how strong a person is.
In other words, as I said, life is hard for me. But do you think that, if I had been born as a natural “strong” man, like mentally strong, able, competent, full of vigor, very talented, strong healthy body, excellent social skills, naturally charismatic, good looking etc. Do you think life could be so easy to me that I would not even feel the heavy weight of life?
I remember when I used to go to the gym I’d see a couple of huge guys there who’d be able to bench press what would I’d think to be incredible weights, like 160 kg or so.
I’d be very impressed thinking that my poor 60 kg bench press what I would struggle so much in order to complete hopefully 8 repetition should be like nothing for these guys. In fact 60 kg bench press were just their warming up.
So, doing an analogy, let’s suppose that “life weighs 60 kg”. Some people would be so weak that they wouldn’t be able to cope with this amount of weight. Some people would bench it with a lot of struggle. And finally some huge good genetics steroid guys would be able to bench 60 kg while texting on whatsapp at the same time.
So, do you believe that there’s such thing as a very “strong” person in this life, full of talents, skills, good looks, health, vigor, wealth, so much so that he wouldn’t be able to experience the heaviness of life?
Or, at least, for a “season”? Like, while young life would be really easy, light, good for them. But as he or she starts to get old and starts to lose looks, vigor, joviality, then life will become heavy, a burden for them too?
You know what I mean? So, what do you think?
Life is a struggle fundamentally. Some can lift more than others but all struggle. There are people who have all that you want (e.g., benching 160kg) but still feel sad, depressed and complain.
It never ends. Life is a cycle of pain for the most part. A school meant to teach the soul.
Very true. I came to the conclusion that, in this life, there’s no reason to be envious of anyone.
Cause everything is only temporary. Nothing is permanent. Everything is transitory. Nothing last forever. Not even for a very long time.
I’ve never seen those 160kg benching guys again. Last time must’ve been more than 20 years ago. I believe they were in their early 30s by the time. Today, they’re more than 50, maybe 55 years old (if they’re still alive). And I’m sure they’re not benching 160kg anymore.
Isn’t that curious how we can not hold on to anything in this life? We cannot really keep anything to us. We cannot hold on to our beauty, to our strength, to our memory, to our friends, to our youth, to our career, to our success and so on. Everything decays and very soon must come to an end.
Deep inside, envying someone doesn’t make any sense at all. When I was a teenager, I would envy some celebrities like Van Damme, Silvester Stallone, Bon Jovi etc. I’d have a crush on actress like Nicole Kidman and Sharon Stones.
But the funny thing is that, when I look at them today, I see they all look old. And then I realize I don’t dream of dating Nicole Kidman or Sharon Stone anymore. And I don’t wanna look like Van Damme or Bon Jovi anymore. Cause all their glory and splendor is fading away.
So, whenever I start to envy someone I remind myself that: “we came to this life without bringing anything with us. And it’s absolutely certain that we’ll all leave this life without taking anything with us either.”
I wish women knew this truth and stopped treating us like a business. And then started to choose men by the qualities that really matter.
I’m far for being a wise man. But though I know very little about the truths of this life, nonetheless I never found a girl who’d be genuinely interested in conversations about these stuff. Woman don’t like to pursue wisdom.
You have infinitely more experience with girls I have. What do you think about that? Can you confirm that or I’m exaggerating?
My desire is to find a woman who’s genuinely interested in talking about the truths of life. One who is smart enough to see the truth about this life. Do you think there would be no hope for me? Have you ever found someone like that?
No, I’ve never met a woman like that. In general, women are off put by the deep talks you suggest. They want the lies.
Yeah I can see my perception of reality was correct. Back in tbe days I use to talk to a lot of women on internet chat rooms and dating websites and I’ve also found no woman who’s interested in seeking wisdom.
Women like to think they’re serious, mature, responsible. They’re not. Most of them are shallow, manipulator liers.
I think this whole world, including all human beings should be burned until everything is completely destroyed. And then everything should be made anew. It seems to me that that would be the only hope. Lol
I can tell that a couple of women at my job dislike me. So I was thinking about why people would dislike other people apparently for no reason at all.
I remember this woman who was working with us once saying about a certain guy who was working in another department: “I don’t know why, but although this guy has never done any wrong to me, nonetheless I don’t like him.”
The guy in question was a good guy, very polite, never disrespectful to anyone. But I noticed he had a weird face. He was ugly in a weird manner, if there’s such thing. He was also lacking in charisma. Although he was not shy.
Now, there was this other guy who used to work with us of whom everybody would like him. He was not good looking either. However, unlike the other guy, he had a normal physical appearance. And he was charismatic. Although I could see that his charisma was fake.
As for me, the reason I think those women don’t like me is due to my lack of charisma (especially because I’m shy. For some women who’ve known me only through the internet would find me such a nice and funny guy). And also due to my physical appearance. I was taking a look at pictures of mine and noticed I have a sort of resting angry face. Even when I’m not angry at all. Lol.
They say that when a person feels happy his face glows and becomes pleasing. But as I’m never happy or excited (for I don’t think I have any positive reason for that), it must certainly reflect on my face and thus putting off people.
To bad I’m not a better looking guy with no shyness. Modestly speaking, I could’ve turned into a very nice and desirable guy for women. Better than these fake nice guys. But sadly my bad looks and shyness has ruined it all for me.
IMHO, charisma and good social skills is “everything”. For even if a guy is good looking, if he is too shy, too awkward, too quiet in public, giving the impression of being too serious, women will not get really interested in him. They will be afraid of him. Or think his boring, a weirdo, of even arrogant.
Of course, the ideal is to be good looking plus charismatic. That would be like winning a lottery.
But curiously, I’ve thought about that and have concluded that the more good looking and charismatic a person is, the wiser he or she should be. Cause looks and charisma puts a lot of power in a person’s hand. And once you realize you can do whatever you want, your tendency is to do a lot of foolish things, acting by impulse and thus finding yourself into a lot of problems. Even to the point of ruining your own life. Many do that.
So in a sense, being ugly protects a person from the traps and the destruction of seductive beautiful women.
What about you, in your opinion, what are the reasons that lead a person to dislike someone even when there would be no apparent reason for that?
No answer this time? I thought we were friends.
OK friend, you’ve answered a lot of my questions already. Thank you and have a nice day!
Great writing. You miss one key point. The most important thing for a man to get laid is his personality type. The less you care, the more narcissistic and sociopathic you are, the more you get laid. Money is also important, however it’s more the visual displays of spending, rather than cash in the bank. Looks fall some way down and if you don’t have a decent height with your looks, then forget about it!
Rusi, why do you create fake accounts and answer yourself?
What you have is an inferiority complex due to your bodily defects and that has happened to you because you have been greatly influenced by this satanic environment controlled by Satan.
As for the women who want to be wise, those women are the women of God. Says the word of God in (Proverbs 31: 10-31)
10 A virtuous woman, who can find her?
Because her esteem far exceeds that of precious stones.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And she will not be without profit.
12 She gives him good and not bad
Every day of her life.
13 she looks for wool and flax,
And she willingly works with her hands.
14 she is like a merchant’s ship;
She brings her bread from afar.
15 she gets up even at night
And she gives food to her family
And she rationed her maids.
16 She considers her inheritance, and buys it,
And she plants a vineyard of the fruit of her hands.
17 she girdles her loins with strength,
And she strains her arms.
18 she sees that her business is going well;
Her lamp doesn’t go out at night.
19 she applies her hand to the spindle,
And her hands on the spinning wheel.
20 she stretches out her hand to the poor,
And she extends her hands to the needy.
21 she is not afraid of snow for her family,
Because her whole family is dressed in double clothes.
22 She makes tapestries for herself;
Of fine linen and purple is her dress.
23 her husband is known in the gates,
When she sits with the elders of the earth.
24 she makes cloth, and sells,
And she gives tapes to the merchant.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
And she laughs at things to come.
26 she Open her mouth with WISDOM … !!!!,
And the law of mercy is on her tongue.
27 She considers the ways of her house,
And she doesn’t eat the bread for free.
28 from her Her children arise from her and call her blessed;
And her husband also praises her:
29 Many women did good;
But you surpass them all.
30 Grace is deceitful, and beauty is vain;
The woman who fears Jehovah, she that one will be praised.
31 Give him of the fruit of her hands,
And praise her at the doors of her made her.
Rusi, what I think is that you have not found someone wise enough to debate these issues.
Because it is difficult to find a truly wise man.
Because true wisdom is the fear of God and turning away from evil.
So I think you have many questions and concerns and my advice is to pray to God in faith. Just as he did in that Rio when her grandmother was sick about to die. And God heard her sincere prayer.
And God answered his question, which was: If God loves you, why would He want you to suffer?
And the answer that God gave you was: We seek God only when we are in pain.
The word of GOD says in (Jeremiah 33: 3) Cry out to me, and I will answer you, and I will teach you great and hidden things that you do not know.
I have been proving it throughout my life and I assure you that God is totally real. And He has been showing me his wisdom through the bible which is the true living and effective word of God.
So that’s my humble council and if you want we can continue to debate these issues.
Good health and good luck to you and encouragement that Christ loves you.
Don’t let the devil fill your head with thoughts that you are inferior because of your physical defects.
And God did not create us to suffer. NOT. God created each of us for a purpose in this life. And to find out, we would have to die. So that He in heaven He can explain that true purpose to us. Because in this 3D world, our brains are limited and we couldn’t understand that kind of information.
If you were born with these physical defects, it is because God has wanted to protect you from all those bad women who despise you. But if you pray to God and turn from his evil ways, you will get mercy.
If you ask God and do it with faith believing in HIM. I assure you that HE can give you a good wife.
So that’s all I wanted to tell you and if you want to know a little more about these issues, you can write to me and we’ll talk.