We’ve been raised to believe that if we work hard enough to “deserve” something, we will get it. And, of course, there’s some truth to it. You can’t get something by doing nothing.
But there are also many situations in life when you will feel like you’ve earned something 10 times and yet you still can’t get it.
You’re doing what the winners are, but for some reason, you get no results.
You’re lifting the barbells, but the muscles aren’t coming.
You’re on a diet, but the last two abs never show.
You’re trying to apply “red pill” game to your dating efforts, but women are ghosting you left and right.
Meanwhile, others do the same, or even less and get better results than you.
Moments like that can make you feel unappreciated and bone-deep sad.
On the surface, there isn’t an explanation, but on a deeper level, there’s always a logical cause behind the phenomenon.
Notice that I say logical rather than fair.
The law of cause and effect is completely deprived of fairness and compassion. It’s cold, like physics.
Imagine the following situation: A cute kitten gets out on the street. A car is backing out and rolls over it.
Is this fair? No. The kitten is 10cm tall and has no idea of traffic laws. But physics don’t cry.
The kitten is now dead without having done anything consciously to deserve its death.
Nature’s mathematical formula doesn’t care and according to its rules the kitten “deserved” to die.
Ultimately, if someone is getting results and you aren’t, both of you aren’t operating under the same conditions.
You may be doing the same peripheral things, but the overall situation is different.
For example, a mesomorph and an ectomorph can follow the same routine to the letter, but at the end of the day, the mesomorph will look more impressive.
Why? Genetics. The mesomorph hasn’t earned his right to have bigger muscles than the ecto through lifting/action, but he is in a condition which via the law of cause & effect gives him thicker fibers.
Another brutal example would be dating.
Imagine two guys. They have the same face, profession, date behavior, hobbies, families…but one of them is 5’2″ and the other is 6’2″.
Who will have more success with women? The taller one. Why? Because women are completely ruthless in their pursuit for high altitude brahs.
As with lifting, the tall guy hasn’t earned the female attention that he receives through action, but cause & effect still give it to him.
Put yourself in the right conditions, if possible.
Instead of thinking whether you deserve something or not, put yourself in a condition that drives you closer to your goal.
Of course, that can only happen within limits. The principle cannot be applied to things that can’t be changed through action and planning. For example, the short guy cannot become tall.
However, the ecto can become even more muscular than the mesomorph if steroids come into play. An ecto on steroids can easily outgrow a natural mesomorph.
Is it worth it? I don’t know. But this would be a way of changing one’s condition in the opposite direction.
It’s not pretty, but life is brutal…and there’s that.
Stop looking for fairness.
The reality is that life isn’t fair.
The top guys got what they have through:
- a favorable context
How has a 6’3″ chad with a square jaw, green eyes…etc. earned his success with women?
He hasn’t done so through action, but there’s still an explanation based on the law of cause and effect – his parents had the right DNA for his formation. Women like his looks. The digital age facilitates upward dating; The government has replaced the role of average men…etc.
How have people like Lionel Messi earned their football skills? Through training?
Well, the older guys among you probably remember that Messi was already a star at 17. The sole fact that he was playing for Barcelona makes him superior to a great number of players. At that age, he had already accomplished what some soccer players don’t reach throughout their entire career regardless of training.
Why? Genetics + right environment + right era…etc.
I wish I could end this post with some “hack”, but sometimes things can’t be “fixed”.
Part of growing up is realizing that life is colder than cold.
Of course, you can use the force of cause and effect to your benefit:
If you diet, you will lose weight.
If you study Chinese, you will learn Chinese one day.
If you practice boxing, you will become a better puncher.
If you ride a motorcycle every day, you will become a better rider.
If you find a better-paying job, you will have more money.
Ultimately, however, nothing beats genetics, luck and a favorable environment.
Work is always on the list, but its effects are limited for better or worse.
“Deserve” is a word that doesn’t exist in nature’s vocabulary under the definition that we know and like.