“Here you go, motherfucker,” I said to myself, grabbed the bar and got serious. The weight felt chained to the floor, but I kept pushing. The barbell started moving with the enthusiasm of a sleeping cow. I could sense that my back position was compromised, but I didn’t let go. Once the bar was below […]
I was sitting on the stairs of a large bank. She was supposed to come any second. I had seen photos of her, but the digital pixels on our screens are often manipulated into painting an illusion. My heart was strongly aware of this fact and began to overheat my checkered shirt. This was my […]
Many professors say that testosterone is the King of Muscle growth, the Catalyzer of Muscular Insanity, the Godfather of Muscle Mass. For that reason, the natural lifestyle is built around testosterone boosting. “Get those test levels high, brah!” Yet within the natty context testosterone is not nearly as strong as the legend says. As I […]
HarryTheBicepsFlexKilla overheard two bros talking while packing his gym bag: “When did you arrive, brah?” “1 hour ago.” “Pfff. Been here since 5 p.m.” Harry looked at his watch – it was almost 8 in the evening. Maybe this is why JohnnyTheTrenInjector is so big? Maybe the secret to extraterrestrial gains is prolonged servitude in […]
Being a natural ectomorph fighting gravity comes with frustration that only others in the shadow of ectomorphism can understand. I am one of those guys. I know how it feels to live the life of an ecto dancing with barbells. This post goes to you fellow ecto warriors. You will never lift alone. 1. The […]
1. Steroid users can consume more calories. Roid bros don’t starve like naturals, for they have more muscle mass, and their caloric baseline is higher. A muscular, ready-to-break-the-servers-of-Instagram fitness model does not have to drop his calories as low as a natural power-fatso. Muscle mass, a thing of which steroid users have a lot, boosts […]
Harry The BicepsFlexKilla woke up with that gnawing, almost corrosive feeling of imperfection that now and then captures the blood pump of every human, shakes the homeostasis and installs a pernicious grimace mixed with bewilderment on the face of the victim. Harry had been fighting against the inadequacy and incompleteness in his heart for a […]
”What is the point of being natural? What is the point of being natural? What is the point of being natural,” said HarryTheBicepsFlexKilla while waking up from what appeared to be a soul-crushing nightmare. For half a minute, Harry kept his eyes on the ceiling covered by the mysterious darkness of the night. He failed […]
Exhausted after a fiber-dissolving leg workout, Harry closed his eyes and allowed his head to tilt slightly to the left under gravity’s orders. He was 3 seconds away from a state of deep sleep when the barbarian speakers in the movie theater started blasting gangsta trap turning the oxygen in the room into an acidic […]
The desire to acquire a physique emitting radiance of alpha waves easily transforms natties into obedient minions buying tickets for a movie they didn’t even choose. I was one of those kids once. My eyes were also charged with the light of a passion, or should I say ego and greed, that burns as intensely […]
Powered by hope with an unfathomable and yet intense source, natural knights from all walks of life have been pursuing the quest for growth with a peculiar intensity that starts strong, then gradually diminishes, and right when the warrior is about to relinquish the operation, a new source of faith appears, dives into the abyss […]
The bar was loaded. My back was covered in chalk. The belt was squeezing my waist like a pair of pliers. A rhythm that could make a dead heart beat again, and a guitar escorting your soul to the place where deities live, were coming out of my headphones. I got under the bar – […]