My rebellious left hip was starting to resent the mentally ill squat ambition in me. The pain and misery from last week forced me to make the day light – no heavy lifting, just a few sets of barbell overhead presses. Rumor has it that a true permabulker cries himself to sleep when that happens. Since […]
It was only 2 o’clock in the afternoon, but I was already exhausted from hours of hard clicking on my dusty keyboard which had a few missing keys and a left CTRL button working past retirement. The repetitive motions were making it very difficult to keep my eyes open and continue this brutal keyboard exploitation. […]
Today I saw a woman that looked perfectly fine until she decided to turn backward. There was a huge tattoo on her upper back – a wolf and a bear looking towards the sky with opened mouths. I almost lost it once this “work of art” got into my view. Was she trying to make […]
I woke up with the type of heavy pressure that only a brainwashed addict can feel on a squat day. I took one of my squat T-shirts, lifting chalk to prevent the bar from sliding, cotton shorts, my good old mp3 player, a digital camera and left the apartment. I needed the last one to […]
Two years ago, I had the displeasure of working with an advanced level CrossFit bitch. The experience taught me a lot about both – bitches and CrossFit. First, what’s a CrossFit bitch? A CrossFit bitch is a female specimen sharing all characteristics of a total bitch while also doing CrossFit training multiple times a week. […]
The bought media promote Photoshop enhanced images of old bodybuilders who “look better than a 20-year-old”. Nice try, but try harder next time. You can’t fool me. I know how the trick works. Obviously, I am not talking about the mainstream explanation which is usually something extremely delusional (e.g., “I take protein powder mixed in […]
For many years six pack abs have been a major symbol of the fitness industry. The human society has been convinced that having perfectly ripped abs reveals physical excellence and loads of sex appeal. There are two main reasons why ripped abs look so fascinating to the general public. First, visible abdominal muscles represent a much […]
When people discuss the current Mr. Olympia, Phil Heath, I don’t think about training, muscles or aesthetics. All that comes to my mind are his juvenile posts on Instagram praising Gucci garbage and custom sneakers made for clowns. This thinking often leads me to a critical question – how does bodybuilding fit into the modern […]
I did my first chin-up at 15. My gym teacher, better known as Conan the Barbarian, was a crazy bitch with wild clotted hair that made all boys chin and dip that day. One could only wonder what had happened to her the night before. I got one chin-up repetition with the help of every […]
Dedicated to the guy who sent me 29 messages entitled “How much do you squat, moron?” I was sitting at my desk, eating acne inducing food when suddenly something in me broke, and I gave up all resistance. “This is it. I am going to the gym. I want to get big.” “This is it. […]
Once I started this journey, I was immediately trapped in the net of the industry like a complete tool. Eventually, I understood that the majority of the info out there is half-dirty. There are some good ideas, but about 50% of the stuff is crooked for various reasons. That’s how I came up with the […]
Without steroids, sports like powerlifting, bodybuilding and Olympic weightlifting won’t be what they are today. If the muscle elixirs are cut from the equation, the records will drop to incredibly low levels. I don’t care what they say about genetics, it’s the truth. If the so-called natural bodybuilders today were really natural, they could easily […]