1. Corrupted sources
A while back, I ended up reading a forum post by a 20-year-old man frustrated with dating. The response that he got was infested with so much nonsense that I couldn’t resist checking the profile of the main person talking to him. It was a beautiful blonde woman.
Unsurprisingly, she was telling this poor soul to “just be positive”, buy new clothes and love life in general.
This is a perfect example of a corrupt advice source.
Women, especially the pretty versions, live in another galaxy. Taking advice from them is akin to asking a trust fund kid how to start a successful business. They’ll guide you, but their expertise won’t be of much practical use as they’ve never fought your battle.
Most women have no idea how hard men struggle on the love battlefield. And those who have a little more insight would still not admit the truth because it’s not politically correct.
Unfortunately, men could be liars too.
Many dating professors hide fundamental truths to preserve the stream of pupils going to their workshops and buying their latest courses which will allegedly turn you into an alpha “slaying” machine.
They want you to think that your lack of success is powered solely by behavioral errors. E.g., you’re not saying or writing the right words.
And while your behavior certainly matters, looks and money are the true turbines of attraction.
The more attractive and richer you are, the easier dating becomes and the more you can be yourself.
It sounds cynical, but it’s true nonetheless.
2. It’s always your fault.
Even if you do exactly as you’re told but still fail to get results, the dating scholars will directly or indirectly make you feel like a loser who’s always doing something wrong.
Their words often come with a lot of negativity too. As if they’re on a mission to make you feel inferior and hate yourself for “not getting it”.
The amount of disdain that unsuccessful men are receiving from other men and women is just too much. It’s neither motivational nor helpful. It’s only indicative of the crazy dating dynamics.
This is where natural bodybuilding and dating find their similarities. Natural bodybuilders are always criticized heavily for “not following the program” and failing to “count their macros”.
The experts want you to continuously blame yourself for your failures rather than seeing the system for what it is. Hence why they reduce the margin for error to the smallest possible value – this allows them to criticize you forever even though it takes two to dance.
3. An unhealthy focus on self-improvement
I’m not against self-improvement. It’s one of the best ways to dig yourself out of a whole. But I cannot ignore the unrealistic expectations linked to it and the unhealthy climate that it’s creating.
The professors want you to think that you can self-improve until the end of time. You can be anything you want to be, right? If you work hard enough, you will become one of them – the big muscular, alphas printing money in their sleep thanks to their genius entrepreneur ventures. #passiveincome #hustle
Reality is bleak.
The idea that self-improvement can fix the dating scene is corroded. With or without the boost offered by self-improvement, most men will be average.
In the past, a regular brah doing pull-ups, dips and running three times a week had a physique that was considered athletic and sufficient to pull women. But as bodybuilding and fitness modeling entered the world and captivated it with the gracious help of social media, the baseline requirement to “look like you lift” increased tremendously.
Yesterday, I opened the Instagram app and got spammed with images of fitness models who were clearly on steroids…but not too much. They’d build just enough “roided-muscle” to stand out but had stopped short before the point of penalization. Not only that, but they were also very attractive facially.
This is what I call a new baseline.
When every man out there is self-improving to no end, the world experiences a peculiar form of inflation – you may be better than who you were in the past, but since your competition has improved too – you remain at the same place before the upgrade.
When you combine this inflation with women’s desire for high-value men, you have a recipe for persistent destruction of the middle-class (average men).
Another congenital problem of self-improvement is the non-stop modulation of oneself according to the system’s requirements. You can lie to yourself that you’re doing it for you, but we know the truth. Men have never been more obsessed with becoming a better version of themselves.
All those wacky haircuts, the steroids, the wardrobe upgrades, the professional photos taken specifically for dating apps, the dick enlargement protocols… they all prove it.
We are not doing it for ourselves. We’re doing it to survive; to satisfy our need for companionship. I can guarantee you that the same men who are currently waxing their “alpha” beards wouldn’t be doing it if the world wasn’t’ as obsessed with looks as it is.
Men are dancing for women. We are admitting with our actions that we aren’t good enough and do everything in our power to increase our value in the female eyes. Does this sound alpha to you?
But here’s where things get interesting. Do women have the necessary vision to determine who’s a truly high-value man? Not really. Most are acting on impulse and suffer from severe media brainwashing. The system spoils women by exploiting their inherent weaknesses and conditioning them to live a life seemingly free of repercussions where the only goal is to satisfy one’s frivolous desires and consume as much as possible.
Ultimately, by satisfying the altered virtues of the modern woman, you are technically agreeing to pass through a factory engineered by the very system that hates you.
4. Survivorship Bias
What is survivorship bias?
It’s the tendency to concentrate on the people who have survived a selection process while completely ignoring those who’ve failed to pass through.
Or in simpler terms, survivorship bias is a filter for winners which creates the illusion that a particular venture is lucrative even when it’s a lost cause.
Here’s an example of survivorship bias in dating.
100 people try a dating program or a trick. 5 of them get some results. The promoters of the method focus on the 5 winners and ignore the remaining 95 losers. In reality, those 5 people got their “gains” thanks to their looks and money but delude themselves and the crowd into thinking that it was their sick game that made the difference. This selectivity based on winning creates the perception that everyone is doing great when it’s all terror and misery out there.
Survivorship bias is also present in business and lifting – two areas frequented by self-improving men.
The marketers always make sure to tell you that the only way to survive wage slaving is to start your own business but they omit the fact that most businesses fail…hard. Ditto for blogs and YouTube channels.
Lifting is no different. 100 people try a bulking routine. 5 get semi-decent gains primarily because they gave good genetics while the rest get a mixture of some muscle and a whole lot of fat. Guess, who is more likely to be featured on the creator’s page as a success story
5. Promotion of qualities preserving the loop
The common dating advice doesn’t fix the factors behind the imbalanced dating market. When the average man is not good enough for the average woman, and the vast majority of marriages end up in divorces, one can be certain that the engineering of the modern relationship is rotten and highly dysfunctional.
Dating tips & tricks are not a long-term solution. Sure, if a woman is on the fence about you, you may end up “playing” her by deploying some red pill magic, but the main issues still stand.
When a man sleeps with many women thanks to the red pill or other “slayer tactics”, he is contributing to the corrupt system that he complains of verbally.
Dating advice treats the symptoms but does nothing for the root of the problem. It only preserves the loop.
TrueSeeker. Do you think a 14 inch arm with fat looks great even though its not all muscle?
so insightful and true my friend, instead of complaining, embrace the red pill and….enjoy the decline 😉
Don’t overthink. Just try and see what happens.
Interesting, even though you’d J presented all that before one way or another in previous posts. I certainly prefer these philosophical articles to those about training advice you’ve been favouring so much lately.
At risk of sounding like a broken record, when are you planning to write about the Covid-19 aftermath in relation to the muscle industry and dating?
I don’t think Covid-19 will cause great changes in the world of training other than a boom of home gyms and bodyweight training. When it all goes away, many people will return to the commercial gyms as they have more equipment and a social factor to them. I don’t know how long it will take for things to normalize though.
As far as dating is concerned, the apps will get a lot more traffic because this is the only way to communicate in “lockdown”. But since those apps were heavily used even prior to the virus, we won’t see a big change in trends.
It’s a zero sum game. Self improvement only moves you up or down the ladder, but the top 20% get all the attention, so if you move from 30% to 50%, that’s a big jump, but you’ll still get barely any attention compared to those in the top 20%. It’s also not linear. A 10 gets 100X more attention than a 9 and so on down the list. Self improvement is totally amazing, if you happen to be break in close to the top 20%, then it lives up to the hype. If you were a 6.5 out of 10 facially, but didn’t have the rest of it maximized, and then did extreme self improvement (including lifting and maybe PEDs) to jump up to a 7.5 or an 8, the amount of attention you’d receive would be 100-200 times as much. The big issue (which sucks), is guys that are a 3-5 get addicted to self improvement and hope to get the same level of attention as a 8 and it’s just impossible. There is no path for them to get there. If they want a high level of attention and affection from women, they will need to elevate their money and status, but they’re still better off improving what look they have too.
Self improvement isn’t a “one size fits all” thing, if you’re a 6 or above, I’d max that out as much as you possibly can…. if you can get to the top spot you’ll reap all the glory. Stuff like have a ripped body and six pack GREATLY improve your status and attention if your face / frame is workable.
Self-improvement is an unsustainable way to preserve the dating market. When the average man has to hop on steroids or do other sacrifices to get women, you know we have a great imbalance.
“Do women have the necessary vision to determine who’s a truly high-value man? Not really.”
Those who joined the dark side are rewarded for their actions after all, as pathetic and shameless at the core as they are, so it makes me wonder who are the suckers, really? Well, all of us obviously, except us on the honest side don’t get any of the benefits within the system
Don’t overrate them. Equilibrium always finds its way sooner or later. Besides, if you don’t have it in you to be one of the bad boys, the act will fail sooner or later.
I don’t think there is any equilibrium naturally in the dating/mating game of human species. The equilibrium that existed not long ago was artificially created with the help of religion. If there are no restrictions, social and ethic norms in the dating game women can whatever the fuck they wanna do.
Social media and all the feminism bullshit destroys these restrictions and social norms.
Change the country my friend. Aparently in the US of A the women have a fucked-up mentality.
Where i am from these problems barely do exist.
Well, changing the country does not fix the problem. Foreigners who travel to get women are contributing to the problem. Most women in developing countries see foreigners as ATMs anyway. It’s the same schema. Besides, most men have trouble connecting with people of different cultural heritage. At least, that’s my observation.
The its not always your fault is so correct. It takes two people to play tennis (aka a relationship). Both people are responsible for their actions that help or hurt the relationship. Honesty, forgiveness, and trust are vital to keep both people to allow responsiblity for themsevles for what that are contiributing to the problem or success of a relationship.
Another strong factor is ones stress level. At a certian point everyone reaches a threashold of stress where they do not think rationally and they also become less willing to see what they are doing that is hurtful. Comming back with cooler heads can help so much do to a clearer head and a better time to relize things that are needed for the sucess of a relationship.
Both these factors I brought up are my opinion based off of my 7 years of Marriage experience. I encourage you to keep these things in mind but you are welcome to disagree and dismiss my input. No hard feelings if so.
The system encourages women to be irresponsible consumers. Hence why the blame is always on men.
I would encourage you to be mindful of thinking and using the word always. It is strong defenitive language that implies something takes place 100% of the time which is not the case when their are millions of examples. This kind of talk diminishes hope for others and self. Even if one out of one hundred women are able to see what they are doing that is hurtful their is hope even though it is dim.
It is a bizar and unfair world.
I always remember being on holiday in a bar…on holiday in the sun. When much younger. We are all trying to flirt with the women. Doing ok..THEN walks in “Johnny Depp’s” twin. It was amazing. EVERY girl drops all interest in every guy and makes eyes/moves to this Depp clone. He got 100% of the attention. They were drawn to him like flies to ***. I’ll admit me and every guy in there was as jealous as hell. He must have had some life. His ego must have been a size of a castle. Hopefully he put it to good use and didn’t end up partying too long?? BUT it is very addictive having that sort of power. “With great power comes great responsibility..”
Like a previous poster said it is not level. A 10 guy could be Ted Bundy and he never not have women literally throwing them-selves at him.
All women seem to have the same type after all.
I was thinking about his quite a bit recently (Sad) but i am convinced if a guy has a strong jaw line and chin he is good looking. The weaker the less so.
There is almost nothing you can do about it naturally.
The best thing they can do if you are less than a 6 say…i hate to say this but is to probably get plastic surgery (Chin/Jaw implants) that would bring them upto a 6+. Because no amount of “joking, compliments, smooth talk,etc” will make a jot of difference.
I do thinking this is why you see a lot of average and below guys go into “heavy drinking” instead of chasing women.
+ you do not see many good looking billionaires. Makes you think why they put so much energy into making so much money doesn’t it?
Where do you draw the line? This is the question. By shaping yourself according to their preferences, you are satisfying them and reinforcing their requirements.
If a woman “loves” you only when you have a perfect jaw, what kind of love are talking about really?
A dating market without a middle class (average men + average women) is unhealthy and destined to fail.
Well. no doubt life is a LOT easier/better for good looking people than ugly ones. A lot more doors open, more opportunity., You get away with a lot more, etc…
I think you guys are failing to see the big picture. The question is not how women behave in general, but the behavior of the human being as a whole.
In general, are women like they’re portrayed in this website? Yes, they are. But what about men, are we saints? No, we’re not. We’re all (both men and women) creatures of lust, and we are what we are by nature. We’re forever desiring and even when we get what we desire, we’re never satisfied. We are all slaves of our own desires and passions and that’s the real problem.
By nature we all have the desire to have the best of the best and to be better than others. We wanna be smarter than others, we wanna be stronger, more good-looking, speak better, walk better etc.
And what if you were very handsome, what would you do? How would you feel? Full of pride? Would you treat women fairly? Wouldn’t you reject the ugly ones? Wouldn’t you break the heart of any woman? Wouldn’t you in the same way try to get the best you could get for yourself?
We’re all selfish creatures by nature. And there’s no hope for us. There’s nothing we can do in order to change this fact. We are born like that, we will die like that. It’s not a matter of education, it’s not a matter of culture or social media, the real problem is in the nature of the human being.
Tell me, do you really think that women are like that just because social media and other things have spoiled them? If I told you that the real value of a person is not in his or her looks, would you cease to reject ugly people? Of course not.
I’m not a religious person, and I don’t preach religion. But if somebody here is interested in the real truth, the truth is that only Jesus Christ is able to save us from this sinful nature we are all born with in this world. That’s the reason the Bible says we are all sinners, and we all need salvation. Not asking you to believe that, just think about it. Try to change your own nature and you’ll see that you’re as bad as those women you so complain about.
What do you think about daygame?
It’s an uphill battle.
This post talks about it:
Go and look at huge Hollywood actors like Depp, Cruise, Pitt. They have had a lot of plastic/cosmetics done. Had they not have been “perfect” would they have been A class superstars?
Hollywood is one of the main culprits. All the leading men/women are near perfect..the villians are ordinary/ugly. I feel sorry for the younger generation. The pressure they must be under to look/act a certain way is immense
So basically we’re fucked.