1. Corrupted sources
A while back, I ended up reading a forum post by a 20-year-old man frustrated with dating. The response that he got was infested with so much nonsense that I couldn’t resist checking the profile of the main person talking to him. It was a beautiful blonde woman.
Unsurprisingly, she was telling this poor soul to “just be positive”, buy new clothes and love life in general.
This is a perfect example of a corrupt advice source.
Women, especially the pretty versions, live in another galaxy. Taking advice from them is akin to asking a trust fund kid how to start a successful business. They’ll guide you, but their expertise won’t be of much practical use as they’ve never fought your battle.
Most women have no idea how hard men struggle on the love battlefield. And those who have a little more insight would still not admit the truth because it’s not politically correct.
Unfortunately, men could be liars too.
Many dating professors hide fundamental truths to preserve the stream of pupils going to their workshops and buying their latest courses which will allegedly turn you into an alpha “slaying” machine.
They want you to think that your lack of success is powered solely by behavioral errors. E.g., you’re not saying or writing the right words.
And while your behavior certainly matters, looks and money are the true turbines of attraction.
The more attractive and richer you are, the easier dating becomes and the more you can be yourself.
It sounds cynical, but it’s true nonetheless.
2. It’s always your fault.
Even if you do exactly as you’re told but still fail to get results, the dating scholars will directly or indirectly make you feel like a loser who’s always doing something wrong.
Their words often come with a lot of negativity too. As if they’re on a mission to make you feel inferior and hate yourself for “not getting it”.
The amount of disdain that unsuccessful men are receiving from other men and women is just too much. It’s neither motivational nor helpful. It’s only indicative of the crazy dating dynamics.
This is where natural bodybuilding and dating find their similarities. Natural bodybuilders are always criticized heavily for “not following the program” and failing to “count their macros”.
The experts want you to continuously blame yourself for your failures rather than seeing the system for what it is. Hence why they reduce the margin for error to the smallest possible value – this allows them to criticize you forever even though it takes two to dance.
3. An unhealthy focus on self-improvement
I’m not against self-improvement. It’s one of the best ways to dig yourself out of a whole. But I cannot ignore the unrealistic expectations linked to it and the unhealthy climate that it’s creating.
The professors want you to think that you can self-improve until the end of time. You can be anything you want to be, right? If you work hard enough, you will become one of them – the big muscular, alphas printing money in their sleep thanks to their genius entrepreneur ventures. #passiveincome #hustle
Reality is bleak.
The idea that self-improvement can fix the dating scene is corroded. With or without the boost offered by self-improvement, most men will be average.
In the past, a regular brah doing pull-ups, dips and running three times a week had a physique that was considered athletic and sufficient to pull women. But as bodybuilding and fitness modeling entered the world and captivated it with the gracious help of social media, the baseline requirement to “look like you lift” increased tremendously.
Yesterday, I opened the Instagram app and got spammed with images of fitness models who were clearly on steroids…but not too much. They’d build just enough “roided-muscle” to stand out but had stopped short before the point of penalization. Not only that, but they were also very attractive facially.
This is what I call a new baseline.
When every man out there is self-improving to no end, the world experiences a peculiar form of inflation – you may be better than who you were in the past, but since your competition has improved too – you remain at the same place before the upgrade.
When you combine this inflation with women’s desire for high-value men, you have a recipe for persistent destruction of the middle-class (average men).
Another congenital problem of self-improvement is the non-stop modulation of oneself according to the system’s requirements. You can lie to yourself that you’re doing it for you, but we know the truth. Men have never been more obsessed with becoming a better version of themselves.
All those wacky haircuts, the steroids, the wardrobe upgrades, the professional photos taken specifically for dating apps, the dick enlargement protocols… they all prove it.
We are not doing it for ourselves. We’re doing it to survive; to satisfy our need for companionship. I can guarantee you that the same men who are currently waxing their “alpha” beards wouldn’t be doing it if the world wasn’t’ as obsessed with looks as it is.
Men are dancing for women. We are admitting with our actions that we aren’t good enough and do everything in our power to increase our value in the female eyes. Does this sound alpha to you?
But here’s where things get interesting. Do women have the necessary vision to determine who’s a truly high-value man? Not really. Most are acting on impulse and suffer from severe media brainwashing. The system spoils women by exploiting their inherent weaknesses and conditioning them to live a life seemingly free of repercussions where the only goal is to satisfy one’s frivolous desires and consume as much as possible.
Ultimately, by satisfying the altered virtues of the modern woman, you are technically agreeing to pass through a factory engineered by the very system that hates you.
4. Survivorship Bias
What is survivorship bias?
It’s the tendency to concentrate on the people who have survived a selection process while completely ignoring those who’ve failed to pass through.
Or in simpler terms, survivorship bias is a filter for winners which creates the illusion that a particular venture is lucrative even when it’s a lost cause.
Here’s an example of survivorship bias in dating.
100 people try a dating program or a trick. 5 of them get some results. The promoters of the method focus on the 5 winners and ignore the remaining 95 losers. In reality, those 5 people got their “gains” thanks to their looks and money but delude themselves and the crowd into thinking that it was their sick game that made the difference. This selectivity based on winning creates the perception that everyone is doing great when it’s all terror and misery out there.
Survivorship bias is also present in business and lifting – two areas frequented by self-improving men.
The marketers always make sure to tell you that the only way to survive wage slaving is to start your own business but they omit the fact that most businesses fail…hard. Ditto for blogs and YouTube channels.
Lifting is no different. 100 people try a bulking routine. 5 get semi-decent gains primarily because they gave good genetics while the rest get a mixture of some muscle and a whole lot of fat. Guess, who is more likely to be featured on the creator’s page as a success story
5. Promotion of qualities preserving the loop
The common dating advice doesn’t fix the factors behind the imbalanced dating market. When the average man is not good enough for the average woman, and the vast majority of marriages end up in divorces, one can be certain that the engineering of the modern relationship is rotten and highly dysfunctional.
Dating tips & tricks are not a long-term solution. Sure, if a woman is on the fence about you, you may end up “playing” her by deploying some red pill magic, but the main issues still stand.
When a man sleeps with many women thanks to the red pill or other “slayer tactics”, he is contributing to the corrupt system that he complains of verbally.
Dating advice treats the symptoms but does nothing for the root of the problem. It only preserves the loop.