Rumor has it that there is a specialized warehouse somewhere close to a large fast food restaurant where permabulkers gather to discuss the ultimate ways to boost their squats stats and possibly gain an alpha male status. In the background, there’s a massive high-end plasma TV replaying the greatest squats of all time. Legend has it that even if you don’t look at the screen, the imagery hits your subconscious mind and makes you stronger.
One of the programs analyzed very frequently at similar gatherings is the Russian squat routine Smolov which has been popularized in the Western world by a former trainer of special military units.
At first glance, the routine seems like a good way to uninstall walking from your life for a few months, but since it also promises to add 100lbs to your squat if you are a good boy willing to work hard, many people buy a ticket and jump on the dirty train.
Sadly, Smolov’s squat boost strategy rarely works for naturals and even some “unnaturals” due to the extraordinary amount of heavy lifting that you are forced endure during those 90 days in Hell. I know that there are many “success” stories on the Internet, but in real life, most people fail to sustain the pain unless they redesign their whole existence around squats for the next three months.
I know that those are heartbreaking lines for the lonely squat addicts out there hoping to add 100s of pounds to their squats thanks to special Soviet tactics, but to be honest, that only makes me a happier person.
Out of 100 people, there may be 10 humanoids who can complete the program as written in the original manuscript. However, the greater majority of lifters will just hurt their knees, hips or lower backs.
Most permabulking squat addicts have a really hard time admitting that their squat numbers won’t break the records even 100lbs are added. This is a result of the fact that the biggest share of permabulkers in the world is formed by natural guys who usually squat around 400lbs/182kg at the “light” bodyweight of 220lbs–275lbs/100-125 kg.
This is a pretty good squat for a natural guy, but it will not make you a powerlifting champion because the strength drugs have advanced to the point where those weights can be squatted by people weighing 135lbs/62.5 kg. Thus, you are only playing the game for personal reasons, and if that’s the case, what’s point of risking an injury and possible downtime? What are the natty permabulkers really trying to accomplish? An online high five on Reddit?
Ultimately, Smolov Squat is nothing but a spike program. You can use it only once or twice in your whole career as a human forklift. It’s simply impossible to add 100lbs to your squat every year. If that was the case, people would be squatting 1500lbs.
I am almost sorry to inform you that Smolov Squat is destined to be a small portion of your lifting journey no matter what. Your training routine during the rest of the time is the true force behind your results.
Smolov’s Squat Metamorphose is a consuming honeymoon for pemabulkers and their exclusive lover – the barbell back squat. You live a few intense months with your squat, but then it’s over, and you have to decrease the volume for the rest of the relationship. It’s a dangerous game that can easily hurt you.
The only justifiable reason to consider programs such as Smolov is a threat to your life that can be eliminated only by increasing your best squat as fast as possible in the next three months.
You can think of it as the movie Speed but with squats. There’s a ticking bomb that will activate unless you keep increasing your squat. The last time I checked, there aren’t people who have died directly from not adding plates to their squats as fast as possible. I think it’s safe to conclude that failing to boost your squat numbers will not kill you.
P.S. The post revealing the natty potential has been updated.