What Are Bodybuilders Eating To Get So Big?

what-do-bodybuilders-eat

Dedicated to those who get horny from watching bodybuilders shop in supermarkets.

Many online videos in the muscle sector reveal the eating habits of pro bodybuilders and their little brothers from the aesthetic crew also known as the Lower Doses Crew. The muscle warriors experience great pleasure from filming food trips during which they acquire the nutritional bricks needed to ensure proper muscle construction and envy triggering leanness. Those generous muscle souls are willing to give you the secret to the ultimate male stripper physique for ”FREE”.

You should be grateful! They do it for us [bitches]!


The magic begins with the first step – right when Mr. Muscle and his big&thick arms enter the store. In order for the video to be effective, Mr. Muscle wears a stylish tank top allowing his silk like skin to connect with the atmosphere. They don’t call tank tops the bodybuilder’s cleavage for no reason.

To show everybody that he is not a dumb meat-head with muscles in the cranium, Mr. Muscle wears a tank top with a profound message.

”It’s Still Your Motherfucking Set.” – a quote by CT Fletcher (a “natural” lifter who has allegedly won contests against steroids users by simply bulking in McDonald’s) is a popular choice these days.

Once Mr. Muscle is in the store, it’s time to show the chickens running around who’s boss. To initiate the ownage, Mr. Muscle allows his ILS/FSP (Imaginary Lat Syndrome/Flying Squirrel Posture) to take over. Mr. Muscle is now a lion out of the cage. If Mr. Muscle has to shoulder bang a few old ladies on his way to the rows with chicken breast, so be it. He is Mr. Muscle – a man on a mission that the lazy non-dedicated people can never understand. He is running after his dreams while the sheeple are sleeping and searching for various ways to sponsor their big fat guts. Mr. Muscle is better than that – he is a winner – something that the beer drinking 9-to-5 office degenerates will never understand because they are weak cowards afraid to take what’s theirs. Mr. Muscle can’t be like that. He is here to ”KILL IT”. Unlike the losers praying to their God for a bone, Mr. Muscle accepts no bones – he wants the whole skeleton.

Mr. Muscle is dedicated, but he is not mentally insane and does not eat clean all the time. In his mind, that’s a scam that only the idiotic natural bodybuilders follow. He is on another level and looks at similar individuals with deep animosity. He would rather be dead than live the sad life of a natural builder eating chicken and broccoli around the clock.

”Stupid people who refuse to learn the game deserve their destiny,” thinks Mr. Muscle while adding a substantial amount of pop-tarts to the shopping cart.

Why isn’t Mr. Muscle fat? Simple – Mr. Muscle follows the DWTFE (Don’t Worry TREN Fixes Everything) diet. The noobs in the store who believe in eating clean look at Mr. Muscle like he is a cheater, but what do they know? Who are they to judge Mr. Muscle? What have they accomplished in their lives? Nothing. They are just a bunch of metrosexual forum mobsters who think the world owes them honesty.

”Honesty is for the poor and weak social insects who will remain skinny beta males dealing with strong subconscious self-hatred until the day their ball-less miserable lives end,” concludes Mr. Muscle.

Protein by protein, carb by carb, healthy fat by healthy, pop-tart by pop-tart… the shopping cart is filled. Mr. Muscle looks at it with a smile. The pile of anabolic madness makes him a horny dreamer. He turns around and says ”Dream big! Achieve bigger!” to the camera held by his girlfriend.

The video recording process gives him even more power to push back the hate coming from the regular customers. He is the freak! The star of the show! You can’t play with him! He is the gorilla; you are the banana. He is being filmed; you are watching. He is a self-made success; you’re a cleaner. He has fans who adore him; you have a floor to mop. He is God. The store is a part of his heaven. You should consider yourself lucky to be alive in his era.

The people that understand how powerful Mr. Muscle is ask him for a picture. Rubbing their underdeveloped and/or fat bodies against his is the only way for the losers to sense a small part of a higher, better existence – a life that the social insects will never have because fate laziness and cowardice have taken it from them.

Normally, Mr. Muscle would tell them to get lost, but he likes the attention. Sometimes Mr. Muscle wants to be hugged by hot fans. Mr. Muscle’s motto is fairly simple – “If it’s a hot girl with big ones, I hug. If it’s old, I skip.” Of course, that’s just a minor game. Mr. Muscle has his Sexland passport checked on a daily basis and does not have to beg for a stranger’s affection.

Finally, Mr. Muscle arrives at the paying terminal. His products make the rest of the crowd go ”WoW”. Mr. Muscle adores the confused looks and subconsciously flexes his chest and biceps a little. He loves when other people in the store think that he is superman. His ego finds the experience extremely anabolic.

”495, please,” says the cashier (usually a pimple-slave teen or a fat girl from KankleCity).

The other 10 people waiting in line after Mr. Muscle start to make weird faces.

”He is so rich. Who said that big muscles aren’t sexy,” thinks the office slut working in the bank nearby. Meanwhile, Mr. Muscle enters his personal heaven. ”Mom, didn’t I tell you that one day I will be a super star collecting envy from the crowd? It’s happening right here, right now,” thinks Mr. Muscle while paying.

After the shopping trip is complete, Mr. Muscle returns to his nice luxury condo. It’s time to please his YouTube fans who desperately need inspiration while traveling on the bus next to modern day slaves thinking only about picnics, supermarket promotions, changing diapers, Cosmo logic and other stuff insulting the mental capabilities of a real man. Mr. Muscle knows what his international worshipers want and is ready to make them hyperventilate with a new food unboxing video.

The HD camera is set. Mr. Muscle starts taking anabolic madness out of the bags. Each label is shown because Mr. Muscle wants the fans to learn every detail of his muscle building scheme. He is always upfront. BS is not the style of Mr. Muscle. He is a helper, not a fan exploiter.

Mr. Muscle is also a good speaker with a deep voice that can turn confused metrosexuals wearing skinny jeans into mysterious men of muscle ready to reach the upper echelons.

Here’s what he has to say:

”Brahs, thank you for tuning in. I am about to show you what I eat to build big muscles, but first, let me give you a most muscular pose. [Mr. Muscle removes his tank top and flexes his chest. His bitch tits reveal ever so slightly, but that’s fine because ”you can have bitch tits without taking steroids”.]

You want muscles like that? Eat like me. Let’s begin this unboxing video, babies.

First, I will show you my protein sources – organic chicken and ground beef. This is the best, brothers and sisters. Leave the organic banana nonsense to bike riding degenerates and gamers. Real men, real bodybuilders….we all eat meat. So, what do we have here – about 10 pounds of chicken breast and 8 pounds of dead cows. Sexy.

Now, I will show you my carbs. Before writing angry comments consider this – I am leaner than you not because I eat clean, but because I eat smart and count my macros. Only pussyesque parasites eat clean all the time. If you want to be one of them, be my guest.

What do we have in this bag? Hm…About five packs of pop-tarts. Actually, let me pop some of those bitches right now. [Starts chewing on a pop-tart. The microphone is picking the beatbox.]

So, we have about five boxes of pop-tarts, you know what I’m saying? What else do we have? Let me check what’s left in the bag. There’s some Nutella and a few protein bars that I use for recovery after a hard session. Ah, of course, here are my eggs too. I eat about 10 in the morning – raw, Rocky style… I eat the shell too, though. Rocky is too much of a loser to do that.

I also have another bag full of vegetables and fruits. What’s here? Bananas, cucumbers and more bananas. Sexy.

Well, guys, brahs, you now know my food intake for the next few days. [Points towards the table.] Thank you for coming and don’t forget to subscribe if you want to learn more secrets. [Smiles and does a double bicep pose.]”

Once the video is uploaded on YouTube and Instagram, Mr. Muscle goes to the fridge, takes out a muscle elixir, pops a needle and sticks it deep into his favorite spot. Then, he launches an action movie on the PC and grabs another pop-tart. Suddenly, his phone starts singing. It’s a fan – ”I am a hard gainer. Any advice?”.

”There are no hard gainers, only undereaters,” responds back Mr. Muscle.

P.S. The post revealing the natty potential has been updated.

7 comments

    1. Zorba

      Interesting.. Would you like to elaborate on your comment enlightening us with more clarity? It’s a very vague statement.

    2. joesantus

      Heh, probably true, but then it also took a big ego to claim the ego of “the butthurt lunatic that runs this site” is big, didn’t it?

      Many of us are walking around with big egos, no doubt. Heck, I’m a 60-year-old, lifelong-PEDrug-free who’s been bodybuilding since age 16 in 1972, and I admit to having a big ego myself.

      But, what do you prefer from someone with another big ego: that he scam you with promises of world-class strength and physique “if you buy this supplement, use this training program, follow this eating menu”, so you’ll waste your money and efforts; or, that he tell you the truth about steroids and other PEDS, genetics, and the dishonesty of the bodybuilding industry, so you’ll have realistic expectations?

  1. ivo

    He is so damn right.Mr Muscles bunch of morons,who rely heavily on steroids. And when they’re about to day after drug abuse,they start crying-Oh god what I have done to my body.I’m really sorry to have abused my body for so many years.But its late know!Hat off to you mate for running this site:)

  2. delectric

    Yeah i Love reading this site. I lift and do BJJ.

    Steroids are everywhere in grappling and yet just like body building people are hiding it. You end up with the strong fast grapplers often with just so so technique giving advice about technique when they should be learning from someone that is clean.

    This site gives me inspiration and support in my natty lifestyle. Thanks to the creator of this website.

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