Tag Archives: stories

Heavy Bench Press Workouts – The Choice Of Real Men?

| August 13, 2015 by Truth Seeker |

Harry TheBicepsFlexKilla unracked the rusty barbell and entered a state of complete concentration. He was no longer hearing the rhythmic sounds of the cardio machines tortured by permacutting bunnies in black legging pants. The infantile screams of the polished gym brahs wearing oversized or undersized tank tops were muted too. It was just him and […]

Real Men Squat and Deadlift Even When They Are Sick

| August 10, 2015 by Truth Seeker |

Excruciating pain woke up Harry TheBicepsFlexKilla in the middle of a sizzling summer night. The suffering was incredibly intense. Harry felt as if the Grim Reaper was laughing out loud while drilling a hole in his poor human head. The barbarous sensation was spreading through his lower teeth too. It felt like somebody was tightening […]

Is Bodybuilding a Real Job?

| August 5, 2015 by Truth Seeker |

Bodybuilding thongs on the bed, steroid needles on the night stand, used bottles of testosterone on the ground, Viagra and a plastic trophy on the book shelves – this was the hotel room of Riki Pianola, a middle-aged heavyweight bodybuilder. After taking a shower Riki stared at his reflection in the mirror and began contemplating […]

A Day In The Life Of An Ectomorph Who Does Not Look Like He Lifts

| August 4, 2015 by Truth Seeker |

This story took place during the summer of my high school graduation. I was in the living room, looking for wisdom in old magazines when my old hammer-proof phone started ringing. The wooden table was vibrating along with it. “Hello! Who is it?” “H! I am calling on behalf of advertising agency CreativeSolutions. We have […]

Calisthenics Intoxication: Can Muscle-ups Make You Muscular and Ripped?

| August 3, 2015 by Truth Seeker |

Summertime. Harry TheBicepsFlexKilla was working as a waiter in a luxury restaurant. It was a seasonal well-paying job which he’d found on a popular site. At the beginning, it was nothing but a fairy tale – a clean restaurant, an unusually polite manager and good tips from the customers. However, there were two major downsides. […]

Without a Pump Natural Bodybuilders Disappear Into The Shadows

| August 2, 2015 by Truth Seeker |

Harry TheBicepsFlexKilla decided to measure his arms – they were barely 13.5 inches in circumference. The tape was loose, and he only had the courage to evaluate his dominant arm. “A sad, sorrowful day. The other one is probably under 13 inches,” thought Harry. Tears began accumulating in his eyes; heavy melancholy surrounded and started […]

Bodybuilding Parvenus: Exercises Are Now Brands, Freedom Is Lost

| July 30, 2015 by Truth Seeker |

Two businessmen with a variation of Christiano Ronaldo’s hair style and loads of dirty money to burn were in the gym talking about wrist watch brands. On the outside, those bozos appeared to be knowledgeable and passionate successful men. However, I knew that they were nothing but snobs addicted to shiny things. “Unless it’s a […]

The Phenomenon Known as GYM Music: Steroid Users Like To “Move it, Move it”

| July 28, 2015 by Truth Seeker |

I was doing leg presses in a fridge-sized gym resembling an underground dungeon designed by mentally ill fans of the almighty rainbow pony. The rush hour was going strong. Muscle building monkeys were dancing with dumbbells in their hands and bumping chaotically into each other. An ancient rap CD with the greatest hits of all […]

GETTING PSYCHED BEFORE HEAVY SQUATS

| July 20, 2015 by Truth Seeker |

I woke up with the type of heavy pressure that only a brainwashed addict can feel on a squat day. I took one of my squat T-shirts, lifting chalk to prevent the bar from sliding, cotton shorts, my good old mp3 player, a digital camera and left the apartment. I needed the last one to […]