The Rules Of Taking a Successful Fitness Selfie

| September 8, 2014 by Truth Seeker |

What’s the point of losing precious time in the gym if you are not going to post a selfie showing your progress?

What’s the point of achieving anything without revealing your accomplishment to the world?

Exactly. There is no point.


Taking a selfie may seem like a simple task, but there are many fine points that go into the creation of a successful product.

Below are the main rules of taking a successful fitness selfie.

1.Toilets and Locker Rooms Work Best

The popular Bostin Loyd taking a selfie

The popular Bostin Loyd taking a selfie.

When choosing a location for your selfie, it’s best to stick to the classics (e.g., bathroom, locker room, elevator). After all, who are you to reinvent the wheel? Stick to what works.

2. Use Your Smartphone and Upload The Selfie Instantly On Instagram

Your smartphone is your best friend in the quest for the perfect selfie. It allows you to take selfies wherever you are, and you can also upload them instantly to social media. Don’t be an outcast! Follow the trend and use a smartphone to take the shots.

Note: Do whatever it takes to acquire a smartphone with a high definition camera.

3. Ignore The Haters

phil-heath-haters-steroids-big-muscles

Every successful selfie faces criticism. Don’t worry. This is the price you have to pay to be the champ. Those who criticize you are jealous haters who have never accomplished anything in their miserable lives. Let them die in envy and vitriol.

4. Lie In the Description

kali_muscle_is_on_steroids

Whether you have built your physique with steroids or with steroids and growth hormone is irrelevant. However, in the description of your selfie, you must say that you are a natural who owes his muscle mass to hard work and proper protein intake. You don’t want people to know that your selfie was made prior to injecting steroids in your glutes.

5. Be Original and Artistic

phil-heath-douchebag

Phil Heath showing you originality and muscles.

To boost the bass of your selfie, add an original element. It can by anything from holding a banana to posing in a leopard bodybuilding thong. If you are already rich and successful, just show the money to the people. Make them believe they can have it too.

6. Do Yourself a Favor and Show the World That Duck Face

Dana Linn Bailey showing you who's boss

Dana Linn Bailey showing the world who’s boss.

The duck face adds solid points to a selfie. There’s something about it that the old-school positioning of the mouth just can’t replicate. Some link the duck face to the occult and claim that it hypnotizes the viewer. Don’t be a moron. Include it in your arsenal.

7. Don’t Forget to Edit Your Selfies with Photoshop

selfie-big-boobs-fail

One of the best ways to add extra glamor to your selfies is the classic Photoshop which has been the saving grace of celebrities for decades. There’s no shame in editing the hell out of your photos. Everybody does it. If somebody is calling you out because of Photoshop, read the third rule again.

8. Sit back, Join the Circle Jerk and Enjoy

Once your baller selfie is uploaded, the only thing left to do is join the circle jerk of people posting positive comments underneath. Enjoy the love. You’ve earned it.

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