What’s the point of losing precious time in the gym, if you are not going to post a selfie showing your progress on Facebook?
What’s the point of achieving anything without revealing your accomplishment to the world?
You get it…
While taking a selfie may seem like a simple task for most, there are fine points that must be respected in order to create a successful product and achieve the expected result. Here are the main rules you need to follow in order to take the perfect fitness selfie and show your Facebook friends that you are still king.
1.The selfie must be taken in the toilet or at least in the locker room
When it comes to choosing proper location for your selfie, it’s best to stick to the classics which are the bathroom or the gym locker room. Studies have shown that the most successful and commercially accepted selfies have taken place in front of bathroom mirrors.
There’s something really special about taking a picture of your muscled reflexion in the bathroom mirror. It’s quite hard to replicate similar authentic feel and effect. There are those who try and improvise only to fail and return to the proven methods. As the good old Chinese proverbs says: Learn from the mistakes of other people. You can’t try everything.
2. The selfie must be taken with your smart-phone and instantly uploaded to Instagram
Your smart-phone is your best friend in the quest for popularizing yourself. It allows you to take selfies wherever you are, and you can also upload them instantly to social media sites. That’s the tool of choice for 99% of the successful selfies out there. Don’t be an outcast! Follow the trend and use a smart-phone to take the shots.
3. Never fall for the hating comments
It just happens that every successful selfie faces some form of criticism. Don’t worry, all successful people experience that in one form or another. It’s part of being the champ. Those who criticize you are nothing more than jealous haters who have absolutely no idea what they’re talking about and are just envy of your success. Let them die. They’re nothing more than average scrubs not worthy of anything else other than eating garbage and shit.
4. Lie in the description section in order to be politically correct
It does not matter how you achieved your physique – with steroids or with steroids + growth hormone. However, in the description section of your selfie you must say that you are natural and your physique was achieved thanks to good old fashioned hard work. That’s a must. You don’t want people knowing that your selfie was made prior to steroid injection in your glutes.
5. Be original and artistic
In order to add even more bass to you selfie add an original element. It can by anything from holding a banana to posing in leopard bodybuilding thong. If you are already rich and successful, just show people the money. They’ll be mad, but they’ll love you for it. Lie to them. Make them believe they can have it too.
6. Do yourself a favor and show the world that duck face
You can never quite achieve a good selfie without the good old duck face. There’s something about it that the old-school regular positioning of your mouth just can’t replicate. Some link the duck face to the occult and claim that it hypnotizes the viewer. Whatever the case, make sure to include it in your arsenal.
7. Don’t forget to edit your selfies with Photoshop
One of the best ways to add that Hollywood glimmer to your selfies is of course the good old Photoshop which has been the saving grace of celebrities for decades. There’s no shame in editing the hell out of your photos. Everybody does it and it’s really effective. If somebody is calling you out on Photoshop use, look up number 3 of our rules for successful selfie.
8. Sit back, join the circle jerk and enjoy
Once you’ve created and uploaded your selfie, the only thing that’s left to do is join the circle jerk of people posting positive comments underneath. Those people truly need your help and support and you owe it to them. After all, you’re God and they’re your followers, aren’t they?