The Life Of A Fake Natural Bodybuilder – Musclez And Money

‘Natural bodybuilders’ are notorious for their peculiar lifestyle. According to the videos online they live one of the purest form of existence. All they care about is improving themselves and being the best they can be. They work hard through pain and sacrifice in order to reach the highest echelons of human achievement and perfection. It seems that if the world is ever going to be saved, natural bodybuilders will be the ones to carry everybody and their grandma on their shoulders.

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THE SACRIFICE

Natural bodybuilders sacrifice everything there is to sacrifice. They don’t have social lives and are not allowed to live like the masses. Every minutes matters to them. A common saying among naturals bodybuilders is: a minute of eating the right food, takes you 60 seconds closer to your perfect body.


Natty bodybuilders live constantly like that. No cheat meals, no sleepless night…etc. The only pleasure they are allowed to experience are the few minutes of rest between their heavy ass sets. That’s the only time their rest is actually earned.

Loosing your integrity or paying the price to be GOD?

Unfortunately, many people accuse the fake natural bodybuilders of integrity issues because they inject anabolic steroids in their shredded glutes and still claim that they’re natural. However, fake natural bodybuilders don’t see it this way. First, if you are injecting anything under one gram, you are natural and second: even if you are injecting more, you are still natural. You see, natural bodybuilders are natural because they say so, not because they are natural. You can’t question the world of the muscle angels. They are all allowed by GOD to tell you whatever the fuck they want to tell you. So, if they are telling they are all naturaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal, they are all natural. You are now welcome to shut the fuck up and buy that protein powder their sponsors are selling.

Mmmmkay?

Everyday a natural bodybuilder has to wake up, measure food and inject. On top of that naturals are also supposed to lift heavy weights. Only guys who are bigger than them have the luxury to play with less than 5 plates per side. The best way to protect yourself against accusations that you are not natural is to get brutally strong. That way you can tell people that your mass is the result of heavy lifting.

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THE BRAINS

It’s already a well established fact – natural bodybuilders are not only strong – they are also quite smart. Most of the popular natural bodybuilders have higher education and at least a PhD. Fake natties believe that when a paper says you are smart, there is higher chances that more stupid people will believe your nonsense. In fact, if you have higher education in a field remotely related to lifting, you are allowed to say anything you want and it couldn’t matter less whether it’s true or wrong. After all, the doubters can go fuck themselves because they don’t have the paper you own. So, little uneducated insects can go fuck themselves. Who are they to question your nonsense? Just a bunch of butt hurt schmoes with 11 inch arms.

A natural bodybuilder is not just about muscles. A natty builder is also an entrepreneur. Some of the most successful businessmen on the world are natural bodybuilders. It’s not uncommon for a natty bodybuilder to be ranking in Forbes’s top 50 list of the richest people on this Earth. All of that they owe to bodybuilding, natural bodybuilding.

A complete natural bodybuilder is also a master philosopher. You can never reach the highest physical development without also understanding life. That’s why reading a lot of books on philosophy and trying preach moral to others while you are enjoying the good rich life is very important. If you can’t do it, you can never be a successful fake natural bodybuilder.

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THE HATERS 

Ever now and then a few haters will criticize you. You have to understand that those people are nothing more than jealous haters who failed to achieve your levels of success and now they are trying to take you down in the pitfall. Don’t let them do this to you. You have to protect what’s yours and the things you worked so hard for. Who are they to question your natural status? Just a bunch of nobodies who can’t understand that the key to muscle growth is the anabolic window – you should always make sure that you take your protein shake exactly 20.343 seconds after completing your last set. If people do that and still don’t get as big as you, it’s their genetics that suck. Those people don’t deserve to have good bodies and should also die because they are flooding the gene pool with weak and shitty bodybuilding genetics. Those people are worse that cockroaches and should be robbed of their hard earned money by misleading them into buying bodybuilding supplements and metro-sexual clothing.

If the haters gain somewhat of an audience, you need to shut them down hard like the government shuts down a vigilant citizen. Remember: a hater has an opinion and that’s what the government fears the most – people with personal opinion. As a successful professional natural bodybuilder you don’t have to worry about those kind of things. You have the money to afford to sue anybody that comes your way. It does not matter whether they are telling the truth or not. All that matters is that you have the money and they don’t. End of story. Full stop. Period. Double period. Tripled period. Hell, why not even a quadruple period.

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Muscle & Money

For the dedicated natural bodybuilder there must be no things higher than muscle and money. Thou who has no love for muscle and money does not deserve the power of the universe and shall forever burn in the twink hell. Muscle and money represent the perfect combination of the superficial material world and must be obtained at all costs. Thou who does not understand this shall not progress in life.

Having big muscles will keep you well protected against everything you have to face in the human world. The guys with the big muscles always end up on top and rule over the insects. Muscles will help you dominate the physical world while money will help you take control over the spiritual realm of the masses. In order to reign over the world you shall make them fight for money day in, day out. They shall not think of anything else other than money and money alone. Mon(o)-ey(e) shall be the only think they seek and the only thing they can dream of having. You shall never allow people to have enough money, ever. You shall always keep the riches rich and the poor poor. The hamster wheel must be spinning all the time. The twinks should never be allowed to criticize anyone. Ultimate perfection is reached when the slaves love their slavery. Those who love their servitude will be your best protectors and they will keep you away from the haters exposing fake natural bodybuilders on regular basis.

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By Their Shredded Glutes You Will Recognize Them

The only people that a true fake natural bodybuilder is allowed to communicate with are the guys with the shredded glutes. If you are seen in the company of people who don’t have shredded glutes, you are no longer worth more than a bottle of protein powder. You shall seek castration. Oh, wait – you already don’t have natural testosterone production, so you can skip that part, if you wish.

Those who unite with other men with shredded glutes will rule the world till the end of time. The power of the shredded glute is known to overcome all kinds of adversity. No mortal men can reach higher than having shredded glutes. Having shredded glutes takes you as close to the sky as a mortal man can reach.

All men with shredded glutes shall support each other like the left cheek supports the right. If one of them falls, you lose symmetry and the power of the shredded glute will leave you right away. You shall always maintain your shredded glutes. That’s why GOD has created clenbuterol and trenbolone. It’s a gift from heaven and your best tool in the fight against the kingdom of the unshredded glutes.

‘When the fake natural bodybuilder learns that the key to the warrior on the block is the proper application of the dynamo of lying power, he has learned the mystery of his Craft. The seething energies of the Shredded Glute are in his hands, and before he may step onward and upward, he must prove his ability to properly apply energy.’

Related article: The Evolution Of The Bodybuilding Thong

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TRUST IS FOR THE BIRDS

As a fake natural bodybuilder you shall not be honest with anybody on this planet Earth, except for your drug dealer. You shall never reveal the secret of your big muscles under any circumstances. The minute you do so, you will lose the support of the other members of the Shredded Glute cult. Why would you shoot yourself in the glute?

It does not matter how much your family loves you – you shall never tell even them that you are shooting sacred Trenbolone. This must remain hidden even to your wife, children, parents – hell even your cat shall not know that you are on juice. The only ones on the planet Earth that are allowed to know about the source of your secret powers are the syringe, the steroids themselves and your dealer.

Many, otherwise successful fake natural bodybuilders, have been let down by those who are the closest to them. Those who seek the help of their friends and family to inject steroids will never have the ultimate power and are always risking to be betrayed.

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WHO’s THE KING NOW?

Once you reach the highest level of natural bodybuilding or over 100 000 subscribers on YouTube consider yourself the king of them all. You are living the purest life on Earth and all the rest are nothing more than humanoids who are not worthy of giving you water between sets.

What’s better than having muscle and money? Nothing except maybe for more muscle and more money. Once you are at that level, you don’t need to worry about anything else. Let the rest of the world figure out why they suck so bad and fail to be as alpha as you are.

This is the life of a professional fake natural bodybuilder. Can you handle it?

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