Brothers and sisters, the time has come to launch my own supplement company. It is called Natty Nutrition. Below is an interview I made, which will clarify a lot of things for you.
Q: What made you decide to start your own supplement line, Natty Nutrition?
A: I got tired of seeing every professional bodybuilder launch his own supplement company, while I don’t have anything to show for.
If those walking pharmacies with bean sized brains can do it, I can do it too. After all, even low IQ people with vocabulary consisting of 5-7 words (fuck, fuck it, motherfucker, fuck motherfuckers) like Gregg Valentino and Rich Piano have their supplement lines. Why can’t I?
Q: What’s special about Natty Nutrition?
A: I am working with a world class team of scientists that will bring you protein powder with phenomenal qualities. It will absorb better than anything else on the market. The guys really came up with something special. We tested it on lab rats and let me tell you – they got swol. Honestly, the effects this powder will have on the industry is tremendous and I can see a revolution coming. Don’t be surprised if I update the guide for natural bodybuilders by 40-50 lbs. Natty Nutrition will make this possible. It’s time to write a new chapter in the history of bodybuilding.
Q: How will you beat the competition? I heard that even Layne Norton is launching a powder company?
A: I already told you. My chemical friends have made a formula that will beat everything on the market. I am not joking. We have something that’s the equivalent of the computer mouse back in the day. Our formula will become a stable. I don’t care much about the competition to be honest. I have no doubt in my mind that with the quality we are going to produce our supplement line will be the Rolex of the supplement industry. The rest are cheap Chinese watches made in the basement of a drug dealer compared to the muscle bazooka we are preparing.
Q: Yes. But you are anonymous and you don’t have PhD? Doesn’t that bother you?
A: Not really.
Q: Don’t you have a moral problem with this business move? After all, you said that supplements are good only when you are forced to use a straw to eat/drink?
A: I used to have hard time sleeping at night. I felt like complete garbage. I didn’t want to look like a sellout. However, when I saw that people do not really care how much time it took me to write over 1300 pages exposing the industry I said to myself – Fuck it. They will never learn.
The amount of attacks against me is unparalleled. Every day there’s a new guy telling me to die in Hell with my ”pathetic genetics”. I exposed everything in this industry and people are still paying more attention to the clowns/fake natties talking about mushroom tips on YouTube. Meanwhile I have been working the same job for the last decade and with my work on the site I spend close to 16 hours in front of a computer every day. My body can’t handle it anymore.
Q: Don’t you think you sound like a little greedy bitch?
A: I guess I do – just like the rest of them. Those clowns have prize money, sponsors, YouTube channels, clothing lines, websites, movie appearances and stuff and they still start supplement companies. #makemoneymoney
Q: When is the official start of Natty Nutrition?
A: I can’t tell you exactly because I have chosen a special date.
A: When I am dead.
A: I have instructed people to cremate me and put some of my dust in the first few samples. It’s kinda like getting a personal autograph from the CEO.