This happened last week. I got lucky and went to the gym before most people finish slavery, excuse me, work. The barbell den was empty but not for long. When the clock reached 5:30 a horde of tank top samurais entered the gym.
One of them was a typical metrosexual captain upper body – shaved, big arms, skinny legs, hysterical tattoos, funny haircut. His friend appeared to be an ecstatic idiot too. He was wearing an outfit that only the King of Posers would put on – camouflage pants, black tank top and 50 Cent’s baseball hat. He also had a camouflage blouse with sleeves tied around the waist. This poser was walking from mirror to mirror while making funny wannabe gangster faces and flexing his arms. The guy was decently big, albeit much smaller than his metrosexual buddy. Both started training their upper bodies, of course, while maintaining a steady sexual prowess talk. The music was too loud, and I couldn’t hear explicit details, but I guess that’s better for everyone’s mental health because I was definitively going to include those in this report.
Those two individuals are part of what I call generation tank top, which consists of people who try to fix their insecurities by showing the world how big their biceps are. Obviously, the weapon of choice has to be the tank top, because it’s classier than a wife-beater shirt.
One of the favorite occupations of the tank top cult members is taking gym selfies. Usually, the addiction starts small and gradually reaches epic proportions.
A guy returns home from work feeling like total garbage, then looks in the mirror and tries to lift his spirit by flexing them arms. However, that’s not enough. Others have to see those loaded guns too. Why would anybody want to be big if others can’t see the massiveness? It’s like being rich and having nobody around to appreciate your new gadgets. Truth be told, shoving your money in the faces of other people actually produces more satisfaction than buying stuff without bragging. I think it works the same when it comes to big muscles. It’s better when others tell you how big you are, instead of you saying so to your mirror self. So, what’s the fastest way to spread some information about yourself today? Social media.
Following the trends, our guy uploads his bathroom selfie for everybody to see and enjoy. Of course, the magic only works when the ratio of haters is really low. If over 50% of the people are posting hate comments, it’s time to delete the selfie and upload another one because the current picture is failing. The end goal is to upload a photo that receives love from over 60% of your followers. Only at that point you can consider the mission successful and to get there you have to sacrifice more than you think. I am sorry, but you may have to change your anti-editing stance, which is a typical rookie mistake. You can’t win a battle with a slingshot when your enemies are using plasma guns (Photoshop).
However, even with the help of proper angles, editing and lightning manipulation, it’s really difficult to produce a selfie with potential to go viral. These days the competition is really high because most modern gym selfie grandmasters are fitness models abusing trenbolone and other dangerous anabolic steroids. Sadly, natural photo enhancement can only do so much, and I have to admit that the fight between the natural and unnatural selfies is not looking good. The unnatural ones are dominating the market completely.
Gym selfies represent a unique trend in the fitness community. As I have already said, what you do gives much more satisfaction when others are constantly reminded how good you are at it.
We love putting on a tank top and being Mr. Bad Boy in front of others. Walking around with shirt- busting biceps next to the typical weakling on the street is a feast for the ego.
Many of you will probably ask what’s so bad about it? Should beauty be hidden?
The first answer that comes to my mind is: it depends how you do it. There is a big difference between a poser who does everything to look good in the eyes of society and somebody who is on a higher intellectual level and realizes that it’s much more important to convince yourself than others. You can think of it as a comparison between a classy lady who dresses well and a brain dead whore with fake hair color, fake breast, fake nails, fake everything. I think it’s easy to tell when somebody is nothing but a village poser wearing revealing clothes just to gain attention. Similar attitude is shallow and fake.
In the case of my gym colleagues the camouflage dude was a perfect example of a muscle village poser. “Look at me, I took some D-bol and now I have muscles. I am a gangsta rapper too. Hear my sick lines.” Nice try bro. There is a reason why the word class exists and you ain’t it. Sorry.
With that said, I am not innocent either. Yesterday I took a selfie, but there was a specific reason for it. I realized that I don’t have a photo of me from the last 3 years. I guess this was a damage control selfie and a reflection of my introvert personality.
Anyway, I am not against people taking pictures and loving themselves. Self-love could be a sin but only when you overdose. As the old saying goes, you can’t love others when you don’t love yourself. This is why I don’t think selfies are bad. They are just photos, memories. What’s bad is when we become obsessive and extremely self-centered. I understand that one day the good days will be gone. Sooner or later, we will be old, tired and sad. It’s inevitable.
At the end of the day, photos are one of the few things that help us preserve the good old memories. Let’s use them for that first and earning likes from unaware strangers second.