Today I saw a woman that looked perfectly fine until she decided to turn backwards. On her upper back were tattooed the heads of a wolf and a bear. Both animals were looking towards the sky with opened mouths. I almost lost it once this “work of art” got into my view.
Was she trying to make her back look like a forest?
This increased my tattoo awareness for the day, and I started paying closer attention to what was happening in front of me. To my surprise I was able to identify the existence of many stupid people who like having moronic drawings on their bodies. I experienced the “one you know about it, you can’t stop seeing it.” effect. There were millions of humanoids walking around with something written on them. Original? No.
Naturally, that made me think about bodybuilding and its connection to the world of body drawing. Many people who are obsessed with their muscular appearance also choose to mottle their naturally colored epidermis to the point of no return. I don’t think this is a coincidence.
While bodybuilding does not hold an exclusive monopoly on stupid and shallow people, there is a large segment in it that has become a shelter for similar individuals. Most bodybuilders are superficial posers who spent too much time tuning their externals in order to attract the attention of others. Obviously, building larger muscles is the first choice, but for many it does not end there. Some muscle heroes also cover their whole bodies in the most idiotic tattoos you can think of.
I’ve never been a fan of tattoos because in my opinion they look absolutely terrible. That blue green color is disgusting, and I don’t care if you have Picasso’s works on you. It’s still terrible.
People like me who don’t like to have angels, demons, desert eagles, death representations, dogs, bears, lollipops, fruity loops, wolves, Tom & Jerry, pandas, dolphins, AK-45s, trivial quotes, swords, TNT, arrows, balloons, celebrities, radiation signs, airplanes, money Winnie-the-Pooh or Casper painted on their skin are usually attacked by tattoo addicts with the good old:
“You care too much about what other people think.”
Why are you even talking? Hypocrites.
People with tattoos always make sure their ink is exposed to air. A-l-W-A-Y-S.
One time I saw a guy wearing shorts during a cold autumn day in order to show off a spider tattoo on his calf. This happens all the time. Tattoo-men never miss an opportunity to present their ink to the outside world. Thus, there is absolutely no logic in the above accusation.
Tattoo-people care about social acceptance just as much, if not more. If you are doing it for yourself, why do you feel the need to walk half-naked most of the time? The truth is that many of those ink bags choose their clothes specifically to showcase the marks.
The first bodybuilding tattoo-addict that comes to my mind is, of course, Rich Piana. His whole upper body is covered in ink vomit. In one of his videos this supporter of “balls below dick” (insiders know what I am talking about) said that his tattoos are meant to enhance his physique. He is actually 100% right.
Piana’s oil/PMMA/rubber based physique is really enhanced by the stars tattooed under his armpits, but in a downhill direction. It’s like combing fake tits and lips. They supplement each other nicely when your goal is to become an artificial robot and get as further away as possible from your natural self. However, you are not really improving your real life aesthetics.
My next favorite tattoo-man of bodybuilding has to be Lee Priest. This iconic bodybuilder is also one of my favorite fiction tellers. It’s really charming when he tells people he is all natural and bodybuilding needs real drug testing. That’s funny. If there was any real drug testing in bodybuilding, people who are as tall as Priest will have hard time breaking the 120 lbs / 54 kg barrier in lean condition, and yet he has competed at over 195 lbs / 88 kg. Similar fairy tales are to be expected from bodybuilders. They love their delusions.
The tattoos of Priest are also atrocious, especially the one on his face. What is that supposed to represent, really? Every time I see this guy in a video the pigeon wing on his face reminds me of hobgoblins.
I think the cause of most tattoo OCD cases is hidden in people’s failure to say no to the artificial tuning that has taken over the world thanks to the media. This is not surprising at all because we have been living in a “Cola Over Water” world for a long time now, and fake everything has been the norm.
While I can see how steroids can be extremely useful in the medical world, I see no real point in body tattoos. There are no medical conditions that require you to have a tattoo on your body.
I remember the movie Memento in which the main character was using his tattoos to refresh his short memory, but how many people who are getting ink done truly suffer from similar condition? It’s also not really practical to get naked all the time, just to remind yourself what has happened before. You could just write it in a notebook and carry it with you.
Most of the times tattoos are simply a cry for attention and an attempt to look cool. I don’t see how they are different than dying your hair and buying provocative clothes. Those things are all meant to talk to the outside world, not to your inner personality. If people were truly making their tattoos for personal reasons, they would not be putting them at visible places and showing them on every possible occasion.
Here’s a crazy experiment. Take a bunch of die hard tattoo fanboys and then place them on a deserted island populated only by animals and a robot making tattoos. Will those guys still cover their bodies in ink when there are only animals and a robot to watch them? I doubt they would care at all, and the robot will be really bored unless you reprogram it.
The way I see it, tattoos are as ridiculous as painting your cat in orange to “enhance” its looks.
Would you consider that art?
Painting your skin is also a classic way to disrespect the work of nature. Unless there is a medical reason, any artificially based alteration of your body just makes it worse.
Small boobs are better than big fake boobs.
Small biceps are better than biceps loaded with oil.
Piercing free body is always better than trying to stick as much iron as possible in your nose and ears.
In brief, organic always wins.
Last week I had a Facebook conversation with a former co-worker whose sister had recently upgraded her breasts. I thought it was stupid to spend so much money on rubber in your tits, but my semi-friend was approving. Apparently, she suffers from small breast complex and that’s why she thinks her sister has done the right thing.
“I think it’s stupid,” I wrote while trying to find the point of enlarging your breast when you are over 40 and married.
“I don’t. You are not a woman. You wouldn’t understand,” replied my former colleague.
“What’s there to understand? It’s a pointless purchase,” I disagreed while thinking how much money I had spent two weeks ago on a pocket knife. “Some people got it much worse than me,” I said to myself.
“No. You can’t understand. Having small tits is torture. I would do the same if I had the money,” wrote me back this annoying drama queen.
“The shallow is strong in you,” I replied.
“You are not a girl. You wouldn’t understand.”
Then she sent me a photo of a half-naked women with massive tits. It was supposed to be her sister, but it was obviously some porn star. Those tits were way too big for any sane human to install.
“So, you are willing to spent an year worth of income on fake tits,” I asked.
“In a heartbeat,” answered the poor titless girl.
This girl has three tattoos. Coincidence? I think not.