Today I saw a woman that looked perfectly fine until she decided to turn backward. There was a huge tattoo on her upper back – a wolf and a bear looking towards the sky with opened mouths. I almost lost it once this “work of art” got into my view. Was she trying to make her back look like a forest?
This increased my tattoo awareness for the day, and I started paying closer attention to what was happening in front of me. To my surprise, I identified the existence of many stupid people who like having moronic drawings on their bodies. There were millions of humanoids walking around with something written on them.
Naturally, that made me think about bodybuilding and its connection to the world of body drawing. Many people who are obsessed with their muscular appearance choose to mottle their naturally colored epidermis to the point of no return. I don’t think this is a coincidence.
While bodybuilding does not hold a monopoly on stupid and shallow people, it contains a large segment that has become a shelter for similar individuals. Most bodybuilders are superficial posers who spent too much time tuning their externals in order to attract the attention of others. Obviously, building larger muscles is the first choice, but for many, the upgrade does not end there. Some muscle heroes cover their whole bodies in the most idiotic tattoos you can think of.
I’ve never been a fan of tattoos because, in my opinion, they look absolutely terrible. That blue green color is simply disturbing. People like me who don’t like to have angels, demons, desert eagles, death representations, dogs, bears, lollipops, fruity loops, wolves, Tom & Jerry, pandas, dolphins, AK-45s, trivial quotes, swords, TNT, arrows, balloons, celebrities, radiation signs, airplanes, money, Winnie-the-Pooh or Casper painted on their skin are usually attacked by tattoo addicts as follows:
“You care too much about what other people think.”
Hypocrites. People with tattoos always make sure that their ink is exposed to air. A-l-W-A-Y-S.
One time I saw a guy wearing shorts during a cold autumn day in order to show off a spider tattoo on his calf. This happens all the time. Tattoo-men never miss an opportunity to present their ink to the outside world. Thus, there is absolutely no logic in the above accusation.
Tattoo-people care about social acceptance just as much, if not more. If you are doing it for yourself, why do you feel the need to walk half-naked most of the time? The truth is that many of those ink bags choose their clothes specifically to showcase the marks.
The first bodybuilding tattoo-addict that comes to my mind is, of course, Rich Piana. His whole upper body is covered in ink vomit. In one of his videos, this supporter of “balls below dick” (insiders know what I am talking about) said that his tattoos are meant to enhance his physique. He is 100% right.
Piana’s oil/PMMA/rubber based body is truly enhanced by the stars tattooed under his armpits but in a downhill direction. It’s like combing fake tits and lips. They supplement each other nicely when your goal is to become an artificial robot and get as further away as possible from your natural self. However, you are not really improving your real life aesthetics.
My next favorite tattoo-man in bodybuilding has to be Lee Priest. This iconic bodybuilder is also a great fiction teller. It’s really charming when he tells people that he is all natural for the most part while insisting that bodybuilding needs real drug testing. That’s funny. If there was real drug testing in bodybuilding, people who are as tall as Priest will have a hard time breaking the 120lbs/54kg barrier in a lean condition.
The tattoos of Priest are also atrocious, especially the one on his face. What is that supposed to represent, really? Every time I see this guy in a video the pigeon wing on his face reminds me of hobgoblins.
The cause of the tattoo epidemic is hidden in people’s failure to say no to the artificial tuning that has taken over the world thanks to the media. This is not surprising at all because we have been living in a “Cola Over Water” world for a long time now. Fake everything has become the norm.
While I can see how steroids can be extremely useful in the medical world, I see no real point in body tattoos. There are no medical conditions that require you to have a tattoo on your body.
I remember the movie Memento in which the main character was using his tattoos to refresh his short memory, but how many people who are getting ink done truly suffer from a similar condition? It’s also not really practical to get naked all the time just to remind yourself what has happened before. You could write it in a notebook and carry it with you.
Most of the time tattoos are simply a cry for attention and an attempt to look cool. I don’t see how they are different than dying your hair and buying provocative clothes. Those things are all meant to talk to the outside world, not to your inner personality. If people were truly making their tattoos for personal reasons, they wouldn’t put them on display.
Here’s a crazy experiment. Take a bunch of die hard tattoo fanboys and place them on a deserted island populated only by animals and a robot making tattoos. Will they still cover their bodies in ink when there are only animals and a robot to watch them? I doubt they would care at all.
The way I see it, tattoos are as ridiculous as painting your cat in orange to “enhance” its looks.
Would you consider that art?
Painting your skin is also a classic way to disrespect the work of nature. Unless there is a medical reason, artificial alterations of your body just make it worse.
Small boobs are better than big fake boobs.
Small biceps are better than biceps loaded with oil.
Piercing free body is always better than trying to stick as much iron as possible in your nose and ears.
In brief, organic always wins.
Last week I had a Facebook conversation with a former co-worker whose sister had recently upgraded her breasts. I thought that it is stupid to spend so much money on rubber in your tits, but my friend approved the spendings. Apparently, she suffers from a small breast complex, and that’s why she thinks that her sister has done the right thing.
“I think it’s stupid,” I wrote while trying to find the point of enlarging your breast when you are over 40 and married.
“I don’t. You are not a woman. You wouldn’t understand,” replied my former colleague.
“So, you are willing to spend a year worth of income on fake tits,” I asked.
“In a heartbeat,” answered the poor titless girl.
This girl has three tattoos. Coincidence? I think not.